How will you change what is “respectable”?

When was the last time you were told that you had to act or look a certain way in order to “fit in” or “get ahead?”

Black people are constantly being told to change their behavior to fit into a society that wasn’t built in our image.

Respectability politics is the idea that we as black people have to adjust the way we present ourselves to be culturally presentable to the majority, particularly in professional settings.

The surprising part is that respectability politics is enforced mostly by other black people. Specifically, successful (wealthy, renown) black people.

Black people decide what is adjacent enough to whiteness to be respectable yet far enough away from the white gaze that you won’t lose your “black card.” Meaning that you’ve gotten so close to white standards that you’re not recognized as black anymore.

Sound exhausting?

It is.

There are also quite a lot of white people, especially those that consider themselves “woke” (itself a word that comes out of black culture) that enforce respectability politics. This is just a new form of white savior syndrome where some white people erroneously think we don’t know that acting a certain way will get us ahead.

Oh, we KNOW.

I think two things have to happen here.

First, it’s on white people to use their access to power to transform institutions into places where black people can be themselves instead of a respectable version.

But also… What if we decided that instead of trying to lean into a table that wasn’t built for us, that we start building and creating spaces where black people can be themselves. A place where the standard of behavior and etiquette doesn’t come from whiteness??

That’s what I want you to think about this week: How can you create your own spaces to be yourself? And is there any privilege you have that you can use to transform places where everyone can be themselves?

In power and solidarity,

Toya