How You Can Rethink Your Own Happiness

In the Arena ?is LinkedIn News’ weekly human potential podcast. In this community, we’re learning how to improve our world by transforming ourselves. Join me in conversations about how to show up daily to live an even more meaningful life at work, at home, everywhere.

This week, I talked to the bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin. I wanted to understand more about what happiness is and what the myths of it are.?

But first, I'm going to get a bit nerdy about what happiness actually means according to research. Hint: it’s more complex than we make it out to be. But for simplicity in our conversation, Gretchen and I referred to happiness in the way you and I have probably thought about it most of our lives.?

What is happiness anyway??

I’m going to reference some of Brené Brown and Marc Brackett’s recent emotion research here because it resonates so deeply for me. And I think it’s the most accessible.?

Marc Brackett’s Mood Meter App defines happiness as “full of pleasure."

But the challenge is that the word happiness is used commercially to encompass lots of different pleasant emotions. When you say, “I’m happy” you could actually mean you’re inspired, playful, energized, focused…the list goes on.?Many of us are still figuring out how we feel.

For example, you may not always be happy when you're focused. And yet being focused is defined as "full of purpose or interest." But that definition sounds like a good experience, right? It's still a pleasant emotion.

So “finding happiness” becomes elusive and hard to pin down. We don’t really know what we’re looking for. But we’re chasing it.?

We’re trying to recreate experiences that will give us that “full of pleasure” feeling. However, there are many other ways to experience a good life beyond "happy". And as Brené Brown adds, happiness is “often related to the immediate environment or current circumstance.”?

Based on this research we have today, there’s a big problem here: happiness is both temporary and externally driven.

Enter, Gretchen Rubin…she suggests that it’s built through consistency and it’s an inside job.

What we Talked About?

• Why we should focus on happiness now.?
• How to get happier at the moment.
• The tendencies to understand yourself on your happiness journey.

Post-it Worthy Quotes

“I don't think about happiness. I think about being happier.”

“When we're happier, we have the emotional wherewithal to turn outward and to think about…the problems of other people. And when we're less happy, we tend to become isolated and defensive and preoccupied with our own problems because we're not very happy. And so, if you do say 'it's selfish to want to be happier', well, we should be selfish if only for selfless reasons. Because this is really how we arm ourselves to go out into the world.”

Until next time...what is one way you could invest in yourself today to make yourself happier over time?

See you next week!