How You Can Empower Your Team Through Effective Communication

The following is adapted from Changing Altitude.

We’re going to make a bold statement here: The foundation of high performance is how you treat the people around you. And conversely, the epitome of dysfunction will be grounded in your treatment of the people around you.?

We want to encourage you to embrace the platinum rule in your interactions with others on your team. Not the golden rule, mind you—the rule which says to “treat others the way you would like to be treated.” Most of us were taught the golden rule from a very young age, but there’s a problem with the golden rule: it doesn’t encourage you to consider the needs of others. It only asks that you consider your own needs, and then treat people however you, in particular, would like to be treated.

Consider, instead, the “platinum rule”: As a leader, it is powerful to “do unto others as they would have done unto them.” Regarding communications, the platinum rule requires that you try to understand the other person’s needs and address those to be most effective. A key way to do that is through using effective listening to explore better ideas and strengthen your understanding of your employees’ experiences. You’ll make assumptions—quite possibly, unfair assumptions—if you fail to fill in the knowledge gaps with accurate, effective communication.

Showing respect and demonstrating trust starts with communication: the way in which human beings relate. It would be great if we could all be mind-readers but, since we can’t, the only way we can connect and relate to one another is via communication. That’s the vehicle by which we treat each other poorly or well.?

Communication is the Foundation of Accomplishment

Communication can be slippery. You might think you’ve communicated a message to your colleague with perfect clarity and sufficient respect, but their actions imply they’ve gotten a completely different message. That’s because communication goes beyond simply the words that are exchanged between two people. Communication starts with how you think:

• Your thinking will form your interpretation of another person: you admire them, you loathe them, or you interpret them in some other way.?
• The interpretation you bring to a conversation will determine your manner of how you listen to them: “This person is so fascinating” versus “This person is completely ignorant.”?
• Your manner of listening will ultimately determine the quality of your connections and conversations; you might demonstrate that you value someone’s voice and want to build on their expertise, or conversely, you might imply that you think they’re a waste of breath.?
• The quality of connections and conversations you build—or dismantle—will ultimately determine what gets accomplished.

Did you catch that? Good communication and listening determine what gets accomplished: that’s why we feel comfortable claiming that solid communication is the foundation of high performance.?

Make Yourself Accessible

Your employees, just like you, all operate with an instinctive negativity bias. Particularly because you, as the boss, have some degree of power and control over their lives, your employees will instinctively feel a sense of vulnerability around you and look for threats. They are more likely to assume that you are displeased with them than to believe you are pleased—which means it’s important to send intentional, deliberate cues that invite communication.

Here are some intentional steps you can take to make yourself accessible and improve the flow of communication among your team:??

• Check your body language. If you’re not already familiar with body language that sends hostile versus welcoming cues, do a quick Google search. What category would your preferred body movements fall into? Are there some subtle changes you could make in how you move your body that would make you a more accessible boss?
• Transmit warmth and openness by smiling and asking your team members sincere questions about their lives. Later, take the time to follow up with your colleagues about what they have shared with you. Most people will appreciate this, although some people are very private. If a person is not forthcoming, don’t force it by asking more questions.??
• Send environmental signals of accessibility: leave your office door open for stretches each day; keep yourself available for phone calls; send acknowledgement emails letting people know you received their thoughts; do surveys to invite your people’s opinions; meet with team members one-on-one to dialogue and get feedback.

If you truly want to make yourself accessible and open to communication—you’re going to have to get on the level of your team to see what they see and know what they know. The more deeply connected you are to those you lead, the more they will identify with your leadership and the purpose your leadership serves.

How You Can be a Good Listener

Good listening is a game-changer. Teams will fly higher if they communicate effectively—not listening passively, automatically, or reactively, but using generative listening and reflection to enhance their efficacy. So how do you begin to listen actively? There are two ways to demonstrate active listening—and take note: “active” is an accurate description for these forms of listening. They require energy and focus on the part of the listener.

Reflective listening?

Reflective listening happens when the person listening “reflects” back to the speaker the same words and sentiments which were just said. This requires that the listener pay close attention to the person speaking. It functions as a two-step process: first, you listen to understand what someone is telling you; then, you demonstrate your understanding by repeating the ideas and words the speaker just said back to them.?

For example, a speaker might say: “I have major concerns about the specific words we’re using in this marketing copy.” Someone doing reflective listening will reflect those same words and feelings back with a response like: “I hear you saying that you have real concerns about the words we’ve chosen for this copy. Is that right? Can you help me better understand your concerns?”

Reflective listening could also begin with words like, “What I hear you telling me is…” or “It sounds like you want…” or “I heard you say…” After repeating the speaker’s thoughts to clarify that you’ve fully understood them, strengthen the effectiveness of your listening by asking a follow-up question for further understanding. You might ask something like, “Can you help me understand why?” Or, “Can we further explore that?” Or even simply, “Tell me more.”

Generative listening

Another tremendously powerful form of active listening is generative listening. As the name suggests, generative listening wants to learn something new—it seeks to generate a new idea that reflects the impact of what you’ve just heard. You’re also generating questions in this type of active listening because you’re pursuing deeper understanding.?

When you practice generative listening, you begin each conversation by telling yourself: “This person is interesting. I’m going to learn something from them.” That attitude will cause you to actually pay attention to what the other person is saying. You’re not trying to form a rebuttal; you’re not letting your mind wander. Rather than telling yourself, “This person is an idiot,” you’re tuned in to what they’re saying, seeking to better understand why they hold the view that they do.?

It’s imperative to practice generative listening in difficult conversations. When emotions ride high, it’s easy to slip into reactive listening and seek to force your own agenda, regardless of what others think. It’s also easy to move into automatic listening when you’re stressed or tired from juggling too many things. Both reflective and generative listening take more effort than any form of ineffective listening. However, through learning and practice, active listening will transform your ability to listen and connect well.

Active Listening Empowers Your Team

You can’t listen actively all the time—it would be too exhausting. There are plenty of times when you have to downshift into automatic listening just to save your mental capacity. However, in the conversations where you and colleagues are working through difficult issues, strained relationships, or challenging problems, making a conscious effort to step into a reflective and/or generative listening frame of mind can create the possibilities of breakthroughs in understanding and in your relationships.

Begin with intention; get your thoughts in a respectful, open, curious place. Manage whatever distractions have the potential to create barriers between you and the other person. Show the person that you intend to give them your full, undivided attention. If you have baggage with that person, do your best to set that aside in the interest of deeper understanding.?

Here’s the good news: By putting in the effort to listen generatively, you will lead better. Why? You’ll get better information, which means improved planning and fewer mistakes. Your employees will be more motivated and empowered, which means increased engagement. You’re far more likely to command the respect of your team, which will help you improve your efficacy across the board. You’ll learn more than you ever realized you would, which means you’ll make decisions with greater wisdom. The psychological safety and cultural trust of your organization will be strengthened, leading to more effective communication. Ultimately, this can translate to improved performance and results from those you lead.?

For more advice on how to become an effective communicator, you can find Changing Altitude on Amazon or by visiting ChangingAltitude.co .

Dr. Dennis O’Neil has decades of applied leadership and teaching experience as an executive coach with leadershipForward, a professor of strategic leadership, and a trusted advisor to CEOs, public and non-profit boards, senior government and military officials, and multinational organizations. Dennis combines his experiences with leading research to focus on the client’s most compelling needs.

Greg Hiebert is the co-founder of leadershipForward and the bestselling author of You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have. He’s served as a leader and mentor for an eclectic mix of organizations like the United States Military Academy, the United States Army, McKinsey & Company, and the Yale School of Management. His coaching approach incorporates deep levels of authentic and courageous dialogue to create conditions for personal and organizational transformation.?