How you can align your personal and professional values for leadership success

Do you want to build a team that trusts each other? I bet you do. We all know that makes things way easier and more enjoyable at work! To do that, you need to focus on trust-building!

Do your top values get in the way of your ability to lead effectively?

???? Trust-building requires regular SELF-REFLECTION

While they had been able to trust me in the past, the arrival of a large new contract changed that. Previously, I'd managed everything on my plate and did it with a level of confidence. But increased responsibility, travel, staffing, scope and budget all left me scrambling to hold things together.?

When you lead with integrity, I remind you that:

• your actions align with your values, ethics, and morals
• you do what you say you're going to do

The further you feel from your values, ethics, and morals could be a big warning sign that others will begin to lose their trust in you.?

?The team lost trust in me when I wasn't IN TUNE with myself!

When my team started losing trust in me, I didn't understand what was causing the quickly dwindling trust. It wasn't until my coach asked me to identify my values I started to put the puzzle pieces together.

• While I said I valued some things, I didn't consistently demonstrate that through my behaviours, which means that I was not trustworthy.

When we say something and do something else, people step back and question our actions and motives. When we advocate wholeheartedly for one thing but then turn around and do something completely different, it sends a confusing message. Or perhaps it sends a message that is loud and clear: Don't trust her!

Things changed when I began to DIG DEEPER into my values

Over the years, I have gone back to my values regularly. I identified where they show up and how they show up, and I work to use them to make decisions, guide my behaviour and as measurements to see if I am on track.?Let me give you an example.

?? I used to think that FAMILY was my top value.

The problem was that having "family" as my guiding Northstar often got in the way of work. Because of that, I made decisions that did not align with my belief that my family was #1.

As a result, I constantly felt the inner turmoil of being off track. What's more is that others could clearly see both that I was not in integrity and that I felt crappy as a result, regardless of what I said.

• Yes, I'm heading to the city again. Yes, I'll miss awards day at school. I know it's a bummer, but this meeting is crucial. I'll call my daughter at night and talk to her about it.?

Can you feel the disconnect?

?? At the same time, I valued good QUALITY WORK

I was an overachiever with high expectations for myself and others. This value often got blurred with perfectionism. Because I wasn't doing the self-reflective work to see where good turned to perfectionism,

• I often stretched myself beyond what was reasonable and expected that of others.?

?? Finally, I valued WELLNESS

I had done work to become physically and mentally healthier. I tried to ensure I worked out and ate healthily.

• But often, that didn't fit into my schedule as easily as I'd liked.

To do so would mean giving up other things, things that were valuable to me.?

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I had TOO MANY top values!

In addition to my family, good quality work and wellness also valued lifelong learning, spirituality, honesty and nature. How on earth could I put all of those at the top, lead well and enjoy life? It certainly wasn't working for me!

What's more, they often clashed. What could I do when two equally important values were in conflict with each other? ??

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Do you know and UNDERSTAND your top values?

How about you? What are your top values?

• Can you name them?
• Do you honour them in a way that feels good every day?

If not, that may be where you feel much of your inner turmoil.

What's changed for many of my clients and me is getting a clearer picture of our values. Values are not just words; as I say, it's verifying what that value means, how it shows up and how to use it to guide your life.

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I VERIFIED my values!?

While working through my own course, Values Verification , I realized that my top value is excellence.

EXCELLENCE encompasses being a good

• wife
• mom
• grandma

EXCELLENCE also means

• Do the work to be in excellent health,
• Do excellent work for you and
• Be an excellent human being
• Make an excellent contribution to the world

That means I can't be perfect at any one of those things, and I need to continually come back to all of them during self-reflection to make sure I am on track.

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CLARITY of values helped me make this hard decision

I had a message from one of my adult kids the other day. They asked if they could have an hour of my time during my workday to talk about something very important to them. After considering things for a minute, my answer was:

• I have coaching calls during this time (I am an excellent coach)
• I have a break during this time and usually take a walk (I ensure excellent health).?
• I could call you during my walk and chat, or if you need my full attention, I can forgo the walk for today. (I am an excellent mom)

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In the above example, I prioritized excellent work, but wellness and being an excellent mom took a close second.?

However, when my daughter called me when she went into labour a couple of years ago, I was in the middle of a coaching call. The coaching call ended early, and I put excellent mamma at the top of the list quickly.?

Those decisions were "easier" because of the work I've done understanding my values.

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Verifying values has helped many of MY CLIENTS

An example from a client is that they realized their top value is "simplicity."

• When deciding which productivity system to use, they chose between two systems by picking the one that made productivity simple.?
• When faced with a challenge with an employee, they remind themselves that the sooner they address it, the less complicated it becomes.

Another client found "change" at the top of things she valued. After being in a job for a long time, she felt stuck.

• Realizing she valued change, she began to look for little ways to add change to her routine, work, and personal life.?
• As a result, she didn't find she needed a new job, but rather she needed to "spice up" her current job.

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TRUST and INTEGRITY leadership emerge with clear values?

The goal of leading with trust and integrity is to align your values, ethics, morals and how you speak about those with your actions and behaviours. To do that effectively, you need to clearly understand your values.

When I turned things around, I realized three things:

1. My definitions of values were not clear.?
2. I was not using my values to make decisions and drive my behaviour.?
3. I wasn't aware of what it felt like to align with my values or what it felt like to be falling short of my values.

I needed to get reacquainted with my values, what they meant to me, and how to use them to make decisions, drive my behaviour and leave my team. That's why I created the Values Verification course.

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?ARE YOU READY to get clear on your values?

Values are our internal compass, helping us lead and live with integrity. You can learn to use your values to guide you when you complete the self-reflective exercises in the Values Verification course.

You'll get immediate access to this course and 35+ other courses and webinars

when you join The Training Library . This membership site provides the tools, training and tips you need to lead in your nonprofit with confidence, composure and integrity intact!

Values Verification Course: Feedback from students

Upon completion of the Values Verification course , this is what some of the students had to say about what they learned about their values and how they see them differently:

• My values evolved. There is more depth to them, and I can see how they impact my life daily and how I feel.
• Integrity has been weaving through my life in the past few months; This value encompasses all the top 3 of my original values.
• When exploring my top values, I recognized that sometimes they overlap or that many others fall into defining a value. This makes living with a truer focus on my strongest values even more important.?
• During exercises, I realized that order is something I highly value.

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Identifying and verifying your values is a FOUNDATIONAL building block for living and leading with happiness and success.

Come back to your values regularly to confirm and update them. Your life will change, and so may your values. How you define and express your values will evolve.

Beyond that, each time you return to your values, you will deepen your understanding of them as you see how they play out in leadership, productivity, emotional intelligence and wellness. That will provide additional clarity for you when making decisions and taking action.

Let me know how it goes!!

"Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; it's choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our VALUES rather than simply professing them."?Brene Brown

Make sure you understand your values so that you can practice them!!

?When you join The Training Library membership, you'll become confident in your leadership abilities, learn to bounce back when adversity hits, discover how to be your best self and find a place to belong!

?Join The Training Library Today!

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