How you ask questions in a right way

Asking questions in a way that ensures the other person feels comfortable is a key skill in building trust and encouraging open communication.

1. Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," try to ask open-ended questions that encourage reflection and elaboration. This invites the other person to share their thoughts more freely, without feeling boxed in.

Examples:

• Instead of “Did you finish the project?”, ask “How’s the progress on the project going?”
• Instead of “Do you like working here?”, ask “What do you enjoy most about your role?”

2. Your tone of voice and non-verbal cues play a huge role in how a question is received. Make sure your tone is warm and inviting, not interrogative or judgmental. Open body language—such as a slight smile, nodding, or leaning in slightly—signals that you're engaged and genuinely interested in what the person has to say.

Tip: If you’re on a video call or face to face meeting in conference room, ensure your posture and facial expressions are open and relaxed to convey warmth.

3. Leading questions can make the other person feel defensive, as if you’re guiding them toward a particular answer. Similarly, questions that imply judgment can make someone feel scrutinized. Try to ask neutral, non-judgmental questions that don't make assumptions about the person’s behavior or views.

Example:

• Instead of “Why did you make that mistake?”, ask “What challenges did you face in this task?”
• Instead of “Don’t you think this approach is better?”, ask “What do you think about this approach?”

4. Demonstrating empathy before or after asking a question helps the other person feel that their feelings and perspectives are being considered. You can acknowledge any potential discomfort or difficulty they may be experiencing, which makes it easier for them to respond honestly.

Examples:

• “I understand this might be a tough question, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on…”
• “I can imagine this might be a bit overwhelming, but when you feel ready, I’d like to ask…”

5. Sometimes, people need a moment to think before answering a question, especially if it's a sensitive or complex topic. Be patient and don’t rush them to respond. Let them know you’re comfortable with pauses, and that there’s no pressure to give an immediate answer.

Tip: After asking a question, you can say something like, “Take your time,” or “There’s no rush; I just want to hear your perspective when you're ready.”

6. Asking too many questions in a row can overwhelm the person and make them feel like they’re being interrogated. Try to space out your questions, giving the person enough time to answer thoroughly. If necessary, follow up on a previous question rather than introducing new ones constantly.

Example:

• “That’s really interesting. Can you tell me more about…?”

7. Be aware of the context or the person’s current emotional state. If someone is stressed, upset, or under pressure, it might not be the best time to ask challenging or deep questions. In these cases, showing care and asking about their well-being first can help put them at ease.

Examples:

• “I know it’s been a tough week—how are you feeling?”
• “It seems like this situation might be stressful. Would you like to talk about it?

8. People are more likely to feel comfortable when they sense that you're asking questions because you genuinely care about their thoughts or experiences, not just for the sake of gathering information. Your curiosity should be authentic, and this will come across in your interactions.

Example:

• “I’m really curious about your perspective on this. You’ve worked on this for a while, and I’d love to know how you’re thinking about it.”

9. After asking a question, give positive feedback when the person shares their thoughts. This shows that you value their input and that they are contributing to a safe and constructive conversation.

Examples:

• “I really appreciate you sharing that, thank you.”
• “That’s a great point; I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

10. Give the other person the space to express themselves fully without jumping to conclusions about what they’re going to say. Avoid pre-emptively agreeing or disagreeing with their response. Instead, listen actively, and allow their answer to unfold.