How To Write A Character Reference Letter For A Friend Or Family Member

How To Write A Character Reference Letter For A Friend Or Family Member

Before the days of background checks, how could prospective employers determine if they were hiring a good worker or a bad apple? They had to rely on character reference letters, sealed with wax and signed by the applicant’s former employer. Having your employment terminated without receiving a ‘character’ from your employer was tantamount to being unhireable at any reputable establishment in future.

Employment screening has come a long way since then, thanks to public records and technology, but there are still times where electronic records don’t quite capture everything the hiring manager needs to know. What is the applicant really like? Do they go above and beyond or just do the bare minimum? Can they be trusted with sensitive data and company assets?

In cases like these, a great character reference letter (also known as a letter of character or personal reference letter) can still play a role in a person’s career destiny.

The Modern Character Reference Letter

A modern character reference letter serves as a general statement about a person’s personality and values as they relate to workplace performance—traits like integrity, work ethic, attitude, thoroughness, communication and more. Occasionally it is written for a specific role the person is applying for, but more often it serves as a general statement that can be shown for a variety of opportunities.

The content of the letter is based on the applicant’s track record and is written by someone who has been in a position to observe these traits. This is often a friend or family member, but can also include former bosses, teachers, advisors, coaches and coworkers.

Character reference letters differ slightly from letters of recommendation in that the former are more about the person’s general character, work habits and integrity, while the latter focus on the applicant’s fitness for a particular role.

What to Include in the Letter

If you’re approached to write a character reference letter, here’s what you need to include:

  • Your full name and job title (if applicable)
  • Your contact information
  • The date you’re writing the letter
  • The full name, job title, and work address of the addressee, if known
  • A salutation such as Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms. First Name Last Name, if known. If not known, use “To Whom It May Concern”
  • How you know the applicant and for how long you’ve known them
  • Several positive character traits and/or work abilities of the applicant, along with supporting examples that show these traits and abilities in action
  • A closing statement as to why you recommend the applicant as an asset to any organization

How to Start and End the Letter

As mentioned above, you should use an appropriate salutation to address the person reading the letter. Most often for a character reference letter, this will be a generic salutation such as “To Whom It May Concern.” Start your letter with a comprehensive thesis statement about the quality contribution and exemplary character of the applicant.

Then, support your thesis that this person is worthy of consideration with the reasons why. Think of several adjectives that describe the applicant. Are they hard working? Committed? Conscientious? Do they collaborate well with others? Do they possess valuable professional skills such as communicating well, managing their time, being organized, showing respect, honoring their commitments and more?

When you’ve selected several of these traits to highlight, think of times you have witnessed their skills in action or other proofs of their abilities, such as awards or promotions. The claims you make about their character should be supported by examples.

The final paragraph of your letter should restate the character traits and skills the applicant possesses, along with your warm and sincere recommendation for what they can contribute. You should invite the addressee to contact you for further information (be sure your contact information appears at the top of letter, along with your full name). Finally, thank the hiring manager for their time and consideration of your recommendation.

How Long the Letter Should Be

Your letter should be no more than four to seven reasonably sized and spaced paragraphs on one page. If you feel the need to write more than one page, it is suggested that you keep your letter to one page and invite the addressee to contact you for a more in-depth conversation.

If you do plan to speak directly with the decision-maker, it’s helpful to compile an outline of the traits and examples you didn’t have space to cover in your letter. This will help keep the conversation focused, ensure that you don’t forget anything and contribute to making a positive impression on the decision-maker.

Example of a Character Reference Letter

The following is a character reference letter I wrote for the daughter of a friend. This young woman has since used this letter in her successful college and career applications.

Mark C. Perna

1000 Street Drive

Town, ST 00000

000.000.0000

[email protected]

8/6/2022

To Whom It May Concern:

It is my privilege to endorse Mary Smith as an exemplary young person who will bring a high level of value and professionalism to any environment.

As a generational, educational, and workforce development expert, I work with countless students, parents, educators, employers, and community leaders. In the course of my work, I have engaged with many young people—and among them, Mary stands out as truly exceptional.

I have known Mary for two years. She combines robust academic abilities with powerful technical competencies; she’s smart and knows how to translate that intelligence into the necessary hard skills for the role. On top of that, Mary has also developed valuable professional skills including communication, work ethic, critical thinking, problem solving, and empathy.

Mary graduated from ABC High School, where she took part in theater productions as well as serving in student government as vice president. Her exceptional organizational and people skills enabled her to lead and coordinate events with excellence.

In the public arena, Mary has been further developing her skills. She has contributed pieces for her community’s monthly magazine. At XYZ Coffee Shop in her hometown of City, State, Mary started as an entry-level team member. Her attention to detail, personable style, and technical excellence quickly helped her to rise to become a trainer and shift leader.

On a personal level, Mary is a thorough, thoughtful, and intentional young woman who is driven to deliver the very best of herself in everything she does. Her conscientious, responsible attitude and genuine warmth make her a go-to person for both coworkers and customers.

In short, I strongly recommend Mary Smith as a natural leader who will make a positive difference in any opportunity she is given.

Warm Regards,

Mark C. Perna

Speaker, Author & CEO

A Final Word

Whatever you write in a character reference letter, be honest. You’re basically vouching for the applicant’s habits and abilities—and if they get hired, these will be on full display for the hiring manager to observe for themselves. It’s important to be sure of these traits before you endorse them.

Finally, write from the heart. A sincere character reference letter will do more for the applicant than any number of generic platitudes. For this reason, I do not recommend the use of generative artificial intelligence as you craft this letter. It’s an honor to be asked to provide a character reference letter, so give it the time it deserves and write something they will be proud to show at their next interview.


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Mark C. Perna ?is a generational expert, keynote speaker, and bestselling author with a mission to shift the paradigm in workforce development. Mark, who CEOs the strategic consulting firm TFS Results, founded the Education with Purpose & Employment with Passion movement to help communities connect their education, workforce, and economic pipelines. Find out more at?MarkCPerna.com .?

Lesa Hefner

Health Careers Advisor at DRH Health

1 年

I write reference/recommendation letters for former students pretty often. You have included great information. I do have one question though. I am slightly confused with the title, "How To Write A Character Reference Letter For A Friend Or Family Member." I have always instructed students not to use family members as a reference. Wouldn't that be considered inappropriate to write a letter of this sort for a family member? Thanks for all your great work!

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