How to Write a Will in a Blended Family

Dear Ade,

I got married last year. My husband, who is 20 years older has grown children from previous relationships. We are a blended family. My sister has nagged me, that I should make a will. But I asked her how to go about writing ?a will in a blended family and she went quiet on me. I’ve heard about trusts. My husband says I’ll be taken care of. My sister says that we might be subject to the rules of the intestacy. Help, how does one write a will in a blended family, and how can trusts help.

Thanks,

Ally

How to Write a Will in a Blended Family - Congratulations

Dear Ally,

It’s never too late to congratulate someone on their marriage.

In the long ago, when only farmers drove Range Rovers, I went out on the town with a group of friends, some of whom I knew better than others, I met a few new folk. I proffered a napkin to a new acquaintance, April, urging her to remove a smudge of sauce from her face. It turned out my new friend didn’t have sauce of any manner of food on her face. She had a mole. She didn’t have food on her face. I had egg on my face.

Till this day from that, April and I have been fast friends. She introduces me as the sort of friend who wouldn’t let you go round with spinach on your teeth. I suppose your sister is the sort of friend, the sort of sister who wouldn’t let you go round with spinach on your teeth. Your sister wouldn’t let you go round with the sword of Damocles that is intestacy hang over your future.

Intestacy is an evil, expensive and embarrassing enterprise.

A Will in a Blended Family – Who Benefits?

I do not know what to take from your husband’s statement that you’ll be taken care of. It could mean one of two things either that he’s written a will of which you are unaware, [how does that make sense?] or that he believes you’ll be protected by the rules of intestacy.

To consider the first point: a will of which a major beneficiary is unaware is a recipe for heartache, ill will and disappointment. And the rules of intestacy are cruel by their nature, they might as well have been designed to cause a violent style of distress to blended families.

Your first task is to speak to your husband, find out his intentions for his estate, what he intends to leave you, find out what he intends to leave his children and what if he anything he plans to leave to other entities. You need to be sure what, if any financial entanglements he has with his ex-wife especially if they own assets (including businesses) or land and buildings in joint names.

You need to list all the assets you and he own – and all the parties who are co-owners of all such assets. You further need to enumerate all the assets of which you and he might have access to or use of, and under what circumstances you might have such use.

The second possible implication of your man saying you’ll be taken care of is his expectation that the rules of intestacy should be sufficient to your estate planning. At the risk of using unduly harsh language, such an attitude is reckless, irresponsible and stupid. Intestacy is a vehicle for the collection of inheritance tax.

Wills in Blended Families – More Than Will Writing

A blended family needs more than just a will. I note that in your travels, the term ‘trust’ has entered your consciousness. Yes, all serious estate planning and inheritance planning involves some trust provision. However, the greatest disservice you could do yourself and your blended family is look to people who prescribe a particular kind of trust.

Estate Planing in the Blended Family – Bespoke Treatment

The thing about trusts, is that for trusts to be useful, they need to be cut to the family we are looking to serve. Getting a trust is like getting an architect to build your dream home – the house is being designed specifically for you – tell the designer your needs and wishes and the professional would craft a design to suit your needs. Part of the skill of an architect is to work withing the constraints of your budget. We talk here of your dream home not a two-up two-down on an unloved housing estate. The moral of the story is to enlist a professional to for your estate planning as one size does not fit all especially not in a blended family.

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How do You Write a Will in a Blended Family? Don't!

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