How is that working for you?

Making Excuses

Lately, I have realized some things more and more. I am my own worst enemy because I give up too easily on some things and stick it out too long on others. I prayed for a long time for a spirit of discernment so that I would cease to be na?ve about people and situations. I prayed for God to continue to guide my footsteps. He always did; I just sometimes decided to do my own thing because I thought I had it figured out. One of the things that I had to honestly come to grips with was that the figurative ‘shoestring untied’ moments of my life were that of excuses. They kept tripping me up.

In Sweatt's article, 15 Motivational Quotes to Stop Making Excuses (2017), two of the quotes that stood out to me were referenced from William Arthur Ward and Henry Ward Beecher. The two quotes spoke to me as I reflected on my own life. I acknowledged that there were times that I was angry because I felt misunderstood, taken advantage of, unloved, unappreciated. Most times the anger was towards me because of lack of confidence, second-guessing my own actions, and often enabling others to influence my decisions and actions for my life. Looking to others for approval and feeling disappointed when I either did not get a response/feedback or got a response that left me confused. These feelings bled over into excuses that morphed into obstacles.

As provided by Ward, “It is wise to direct your anger towards problems—not people, to focus your energies on answers—not excuses.” (Ward as quoted by Sweatt, 2017). Wow! When I first read the article, it hit me like the fists of the famous boxer, Mike Tyson pummeling his opponents. There was no doubt that the target of reading the words successfully made contact: I WAS knocked out by that quote! Although I should have seen it coming when I sat down and began reading the article regarding quotes to stop making excuses, I should have known that there would be at least something that would resonate and serve as an “ah-ha” moment.

The second quote that resonated with me caused me to reflect on my upbringing. I always felt that my father held me to a high standard. If my report card from school had B’s, the response was not, 'good job, keep it up, but rather, 'why isn’t this an A?' I do not think that was a bad thing. My father was one of my great mentors who believed in me before I did! Now that I am older and have three youngsters. I think it was a matter of him wanting me to see the potential that I had for doing better. I needed to mature to realize that in the end, an individual has to gain the confidence and put the work in to do this consistently for oneself. If you rely on others to do that for you, you will be disappointed. Success in life is not designed for you to lean on others for something that has to start within you! If you go it that way, eventually you will fall and even fail. It is not sustainable for the endurance of this thing called life! That is if you want to be able to start something and see it through to completion.

Some people unfortunately do not have that desire and are content to remain where it is comfortable. That may be 'ok' for them, but if YOU decide that you want to continue to evolve, you have to select where your bar or modicum of success is. Thinking it does not make it happen, and letting things sidetrack you (especially when the sidetrack is you and your excuses) leaves you exactly where you started. You may even find that you have inadvertently set yourself behind where you started. Do as Beecher advised, “Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.” (Beecher as quoted by Sweatt, 2017).

The bottom line question to ask in these instances is: How is that working for you? If it is not, then decide to make a plan, work the steps, and put the plan into action. Cease allowing the excuses, YOUR excuses to pull you away from your purpose and your passion.

REFERENCE and FURTHER READING

Mariana, L. (2015, October 16). 7 Ways to Get out of Your Own Way and Get Things Done. Success.com. https://www.success.com/7-ways-to-get-out-of-your-own-way-and-get-things-done/

Sweatt, Lydia (2017, March 23). 15 Motivational Quotes to Stop Making Excuses. Success.com. Retrieved from https://www.success.com/15-motivational-quotes-to-stop-making-excuses/

Warrell, M. (2017, December 8). Why It’s Time to Stop Making Excuses for What’s Not Working. Success.com. https://www.success.com/why-its-time-to-stop-making-excuses-for-whats-not-working