How to work from home with kids, and be productive.

Of the moving parts in the coronavirus-impacted new normal, one which has been fascinating to observe is how our society is managing the sudden shift to working from home with kids. With schools in Victoria and NSW closing overnight, families deciding not to send children to grandparents and the looming prospect of two weeks of socially-distanced school holidays, how on earth do we put in a full day's work, with our kids at home?

The answer is, we can't (in the same way we used to), but that doesn't mean we will be any less productive.

Prior to returning to banking last August, I was self employed for 6 years. During this time I had two children. I've worked from the office with my baby in the background and/or on my lap, tummy time on the floor behind the computer. I have held my 3 week old in my arms in team meetings, or excused myself from a staff discussion for 10 minutes to change a nappy or pass my child a snack. I've had bursts of productivity as I've hammered out urgent emails knowing my son would probably wake up in 10 minutes, and replied to emails with one hand, while holding my child to sleep.

By deciding to bring my child to work, there was NO WAY I could make it "look like" I didn't have children in the office. I owned it, chatted over the phone to customers while he gurgled away, and apologized for the "baby soundtrack" in the background. However, in spite of all this, my business managed to grow revenues by more than 10% during this time.

I wasn't running a hobby business. Significant amounts of my family's finance were tied up in the business venture and I "had" to make it work. And work it did, when my eldest was 3 years and my youngest 9 months I sold the business for a healthy price to a third party buyer, using the proceeds to pay off our mortgage!

So here are my top eight tips for working from home with kids...

1.Plan your day

Right now I have two very active boys who are three and five years old. The night before, I came up with a very rough plan. I'd get up at 6.30am and start work on my laptop before breakfast. I'd check the free-to-air Play School and Sesame Street times and try to match TV time accordingly. I'd pace the day - creative time, reading time, indoor play, outdoor time, rest/nap time. I had plenty of coloring sheets printed from the weekend. And I would use TV or screen time, and their "gummy lollies" (actually a Vitamin C disguised as a lolly) as a twice daily reward for good behavior.

2. Ask children to wait

I work 3 compressed days/week so the kids are used to me being at home with them. What they are not used to is me working during the day, while I have them at home. I did my best to set expectations and explain today was different, no they couldn't just go to their grandparents but we would have a special day at home, and mummy can't play with them because mummy needed to work.

We recently put a large analog clock on our wall so when my 3 year old asked for a lolly at 8.40am, I said "Sure! You can have one at 9 o'clock." When my eldest wanted me to sharpen his coloring pencils, I said, "Sure! At 9 o'clock. And the next time is 10 o'clock." My youngest couldn't find his book. "Sure, I'll help you look for it," I said, "but at 11 o'clock".

Having a wall clock was excellent in that it kept me honest about when I should get up and get it for them. Otherwise "a few minutes" or "not now" can drag out interminably which is not fair to the children, and leads to grief on both sides.

3. Save your best tricks for zoom meetings

Prior to today I knew I had an important one-on-one video conference to attend at 2.30pm. This was the "brick" at the start of my day, and I planned the whole work day around it. I would get my youngest to nap, and my eldest would have the iPad on "whatever he wants" at this time. The time-line looked something like this

• 1.30pm - 1.55pm put kids to bed. The youngest fell asleep but the 5 year old wanted to know why he had to have "quiet time" in his room. Just until 2.30pm I promised him, hoping he would fall asleep.
• 1.55pm I hop into the shower, wash, dry and brush my hair, change into a casual work shirt for the call
• 2.20pm - check the zoom meeting was working, check lighting, video, audio.
• 2.27pm - check my eldest, he's still awake. Hand him the iPad.
• 2.30pm to 3.05pm - complete video-conference without a peep from the boys. The youngest slept and the eldest told me with a huge grin, "I watched FOUR shows".

I kept a second iPad next to me in-case the youngest woke early from his nap. The plan was if this happened to switch on ABC Kids, and quickly hand it to him.

Also, in this "new normal" when the children are at home with you at work, NEVER feel guilty if your child wanders into the room while you are on a VC, or if your child begins fighting in the background, while on a call. Simply excuse yourself, deal with it and return to the call. If necessary, ask to hang up and call back. So many of us are parents. Having no option but to have our children with us as we work from home, these things are bound to happen. If you see your someone else's child pop into a VC, smile and engage them! Understand that kids will be kids! This stuff happens, its no big deal. These small interruptions will not make you less effective.

4. Take a proper break at lunch

My kids loved that I told them at 12 o'clock, mum is going to stop work for ONE WHOLE HOUR, just to spend time with them. Thought I delayed it 15 minutes, we all finally sat down for lunch (peanut butter and jam toast and avocado toast for me) and I praised them for having been so good for the last four hours. I explained there is just six hours to go before Daddy comes home and we would play, then nap, then watch TV, then play again. After lunch, we went to the court yard to ride bikes and play some basketball (which involved picking up crying kids and breaking up squabbles) before I had to come inside.

5. Dress for work

If this daily "self isolation" and "work from home" is going to go on longer than a week, where we know we will need to join work video-conferences (where your video is switched on too), please let's dress the part.

While I'm definitely not saying we should wear a suit as we work from the spare room, if we are going to see colleagues face-to-face, let's dress like we are going out of the house and meeting a friend, rather than dress like we are cleaning the house or watching TV late at night. For your own sanity, consider swapping the 'at home' clothes in favor of something smart casual - maybe something you'd wear out to a cafe on Saturday morning with friends (now that we are not allowed to do that, we might as well put those clothes to good use!). Think of clothes which reflect who you are, which you feel comfortable and authentic in. Dressing well on VC respects others, and sets the mood and expectation, "I expect to get real work done today".

6. Do more with less time

With children at home - you will have less time. Repeat that after me, "I... will... have... less... working... time". The key is not to fight this, as it is impossible to show love and kindness to young children and even teens without stopping a few minutes from your work here and there, but to plan to overcome it. Be resourceful. While a screen is loading, open another screen and start the next piece of work. This point is critical to productive work.

7. Get straight to the point

In your precious time between communicating with your kids (or between breaking up their fights or doling out snacks), be goal orientated. What specific thing would you like to achieve for work this week? Great! Now you know, shape your day or week around achieving just that. Have shorter phone calls. Be more decisive and intentional with how you use your time. Think harder, then write shorter emails (without compromising quality of content). Have targeted conversations.

8. It's not perfect, and that's okay

Finally, be kind to yourself and others when things don't work out. I almost had the perfect day today. The kids played quite well, responded to the rewards, slept 2.5 hours and 1.5 hours each during an overlapping time frame. Then, 5.55pm just as I was finishing up, things just fell apart.

I was trying to squeeze a final 10 minutes for a last email. However my three year old was persistently trying to climb on my lap to read a book, several times, over and over, not listening to my "no" and "wait". So, five minutes before the end of my work day, I screamed at my youngest. He had escaped his dad, crawled under the dining table and popped up right beside me, accidentally whacking my cheekbone with his board book. I shouted, "Go away!" I've never, ever said those words to my children. My eldest told me "Mum, that was too loud". I felt so ashamed.

As my husband played with the kids in their bedrooms, I finished up and then held my youngest on my lap and apologized to him. "Will you forgive me?" I asked. "Yup!" he said, cheerfully. I held him tight.

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In hindsight, when its getting late, in the days that come I hope I'll know when to call it a day. To stop, shut down my laptop, and celebrate having survived a previously unheard of concept for so many working parents - a successful, brave day of working from home... with my own kids.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I'd love your feedback. If you've found this helpful or if you've any questions, or great tips for working from home with children, please drop a note in the comments below.