How to Work with a Colleague You Dislike

In every workplace, we encounter individuals whose working styles, attitudes, or personalities don’t align with ours. Disliking a colleague is not uncommon—it’s human. But how we navigate these dynamics can shape the success of our professional relationships and, ultimately, our careers.

Here’s how to turn a difficult relationship with a colleague into an opportunity for growth and collaboration:

1. Acknowledge Diversity as a Strength

Every workplace is a melting pot of diverse perspectives, experiences, and approaches. While diversity drives creativity and innovation, it can also create friction. Recognize that disagreements are natural and can offer valuable learning experiences. The key is to focus on shared goals rather than personal differences.

Tip: Separate the individual from the issue. You can disagree on an idea and still maintain mutual respect.

2. Practice Self-Awareness

Before addressing a strained relationship, reflect on your emotions. Ask yourself:

• Why do I feel uncomfortable?
• Are there specific incidents causing this discomfort?
• Am I interpreting the situation objectively or through a personal lens?

Understanding your triggers and biases helps you approach interactions with empathy and composure.

3. Communicate with Empathy

Often, misunderstandings are the root cause of workplace tension. Open and respectful communication can clear up preconceived notions.

Tips for Effective Communication:

• Active Listening: Pay attention to what’s being said, including tone and body language.
• Use ‘I’ Statements: Express how you feel without blaming. For example, say, “I feel excluded when my input isn’t acknowledged” rather than “You never listen to me.”
• Seek Clarity: Ask questions to understand the other person’s perspective instead of assuming intent.

4. Focus on Common Goals

In the workplace, we’re all working toward a common purpose. When conflicts arise, shift the focus from personal differences to organizational objectives. Highlight how collaboration benefits the team and the company.

Example: If a disagreement occurs during a project, revisit the shared goal and discuss how each person’s contribution aligns with achieving it.

5. Set Boundaries Professionally

Healthy workplace relationships require boundaries. If certain behaviours make you uncomfortable, assertively communicate what works for you. This fosters mutual respect without escalating conflicts.

6. Seek Mediation if Necessary

When emotions run high and resolution seems impossible, involve a neutral third party, such as a manager or HR representative. A mediator ensures fair discussions and helps both parties work toward a constructive solution.

7. Embrace Patience and Adaptability

Change doesn’t happen overnight. Relationships take time to evolve, especially in a diverse workplace. Stay patient and persistent in building rapport.

Practical Tips for Managing Workplace Relationships

• Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Give your colleague the benefit of the doubt. Their behaviour might stem from personal stress or a different perspective.
• Focus on Behaviour, Not Personality: Address actions that impact work without making it personal.
• Reflect Regularly: Assess your own responses during interactions to identify areas for improvement.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Appreciate moments of positive collaboration, no matter how small.