How to Win at Karaoke

I’m ridiculously excited. I’m at Confab 2019 (my eighth Confab, thank-you-very-much) and this time I appear before you as a sponsor. That’s right—my company, LinkedIn, is an official sponsor of Confab Karaoke.

At dinner with friends last night, we talked about how we were going to approach karaoke. “Well,” I said, “I just so happen to have strategies for karaoke.” As we went through them, they encouraged me to share them with you. So here they are.

1. It’s not for you

Your song choice isn’t just about what you like. It’s about bringing something enjoyable to your audience. No one wants to hear a song from an obscure band you listened to in college. No one wants to sit through a B-side (is that even a thing anymore?) from your favorite artist. And I know you’re dying to prove a much-maligned band (COUGHnickelbackCOUGH) is actually so good, but the song isn't for you.

Remember that most of the people in the audience are honestly just waiting for their turn on the mic, so give them a reason to pay attention to you. Save that B-side for the shower (I'm sure you nail it).

2. Know the words

Why do you need to know the words when they're in front of you? Because you might only think you know how the song goes. In actuality, you may only know the first verse and the chorus of "Fast Car" and then you get to the part where all those words just come at you and you freeze up (ask me how I know).

And if you don’t know the words, that means your eyes are glued to the screen instead of making eye contact with your audience (more about this in “Commit”).

3. Practice

Practicing will help you understand if you need to work on memorization, if the song is in your range, and any other surprises your chosen song may have in store for you. “Call me Al” may seem like a fine idea until you get to that high note you’d forgotten about—immediately followed by an awkward 45-second instrumental break (I have ideas on how to handle those but I’m keeping them a trade secret for now). I’m not saying don’t do “Call Me Al,” but you should know precisely what you’re getting into.

To get your practice in, you can find lots of karaoke versions on YouTube, or subscribe to a two-night “Party Pack” from Karafun. 

4. Commit

This might be the most important component of a winning karaoke performance. If you’re going to do karaoke, DO KARAOKE. I saw a guy who couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket slay an entire karaoke bar—with “Total Eclipse of the Heart” no less—because he didn’t let a little thing like having a steam-engine-esque voice dissuade him from belting out that song like it was written for him. Get up there. Own that stage. Make eye contact. Encourage people to sing along with you. This is your moment. Take it to its inevitable conclusion.

5. If you can’t sing

I believe there’s a song for everyone. But if you think there’s not a single karaoke-appropriate song out there for you, then you should go for impressive.

This one takes some planning, but it’s worth it. Choose a song with difficult execution (think “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” “One Week,” or a fast rap song). Memorize the hell out of it. Seriously. It should be practically muscle memory by the time you’re ready to debut it.

And then, when you perform, please see #4.

6. If all else fails

It’s hard to go wrong with a pop song from the ‘90s or The Beatles (as long as they correspond to rules 1-5).

…One more thing

You'll probably want to avoid singing Freddie Mercury unless you’re 1) Adam Lambert or 2) performing the last song of the night and it’s "Bohemian Rhapsody" and everyone is singing along and can’t hear you anyway.

I’m looking forward to seeing all of you Confab attendees at the party tomorrow night, and encourage your gleeful disregard of everything I’ve just written. See you there.