How NOT To Win Friends And NOT Influence People: Episode #87 The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show

How NOT To Win Friends And NOT Influence People: Episode #87 The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show

Whenever you see a fault in someone else, jump right in, don’t hesitate to correct it immediately.  If there is a mistake, then remonstrate with them about their failings.  They need to know about it don’t they!  Belittling them in public is a good way to keep their ego in check.

You have read somewhere on-line, that people respond better to honey than vinegar, so from time to time, honey up your words with some fake praise.  Really crank up the superlatives and pander to their ego to get them to do what you want. People are pretty thick, so you will probably have to lay it on with a trowel.  Delivered with a fake smile is good too.

Rather than plumbing the other person’s desires and communicating in a way that get’s their buy in, just pull rank and tell them what they have to do.  You know more about everything than they do, so make them fly straight and use the dominance of your personality to force them forward.

Treat people as disposable commodities, who perform required functions.  Cogs in your wheel really. Apart from fake interest, don’t care much about them, after all they don’t count anyway.  The world is your oyster, not theirs and if they were not so stupid and lazy, your life would be much easier

Avoid smiling – it will be taken as a sign of weakness.  A heavy, serious face makes you look more important and impressive. A scowl seems to work wonders in intimidating others to do what you are telling them to do.

 Axe that jive about getting them to talk and you being a good listener.  Hey, time is short.   They need to hear from you what they need to do. Use most of the time to talk about yourself and your brilliance.  They need to hear this, to learn from the superior role model on how it is done.

You have interests and so do they, but your interests are much more important, so make sure they are au fait with yours.  You are important, not them, so the object of each exchange is to boost your own importance with those around you.  Make sure they know what a big shot you are at every chance.  Keep repeating pertinent facts until they get it.

Win every argument, don’t leave any opportunity to chance.  You must dominate the ideas war.  If they start to think they have won over you, it will be the thin edge of the wedge and others may start to get uppity as well.  Put them in their place immediately and without reservation.

If they are wrong then tell them so quickly and emphatically.  They need to hear this from you every time they step out of line.  Mistakes cannot be tolerated whatsoever, so the faster you point out their errors, the more efficient things will be around here. Never forget you are the font of all knowledge and they need correction.

If it turns out you are wrong, never admit it.  Stick to your guns and browbeat them into submission.  There cannot be any questioning of your leadership authority.  To bone up on how to better spin it, re-read George Orwell’s “1984”. It is a great primer on “doublespeak”.

Don’t bother to engage people in a friendly way.  Life is a serious affair, so they had better get with your plan and your approach. This will help them to get the message faster, cut out all the fluffy bits and get straight down to the meat.

Do the majority of the talking, so they can’t get a word in edge wise to disagree with you.  Simply out talk them and bludgeon them with your will. If they are not getting it, then talk LOUDER!

Make sure they know your ideas, in detail.  Don’t ask them for their ideas, all they need to know is what you tell them.  They don’t need their own opinion, because you are going to give it to them.

Don’t bother with that hokey “walk a mile in their moccasins” liberal, pinko propaganda. They need to appreciate your better considered viewpoint – it will save us all a lot of time.

They may have ideas and desires, well, so what? Your ideas and desires are all that count.  They are much more relevant and important, so solely concentrate on what you want to happen.

People are basically evil and untrustworthy.   Don’t expect any nobility out of the great unwashed.  Check everything twice and expect to be ripped off and cheated by the rabble. Therefore always be checking and be very well prepared in advance.

Forget about selling your ideas, why should you have to?  Just tell them what you want and force them to do it.

If there is a mistake, don’t beat around the bush – call it out and preferably do so as publically as possible, so that they can be shamed and the rest can benefit from a “teachable moment”.

In the unlikely event you ever made a mistake in your life, keep it to yourself.  Don’t be generous and judge them by taking into account where you may have struggled in the past. Instead have a sky high expectation for them and hold them to it.  Ultimately, they will thank you for the double standard.

Give direct orders at every stage and opportunity.  People are either weak willed, sheep or plain stupid, so they need to be told what to do, in detail, in triplicate and often.

If they blow something up, hold them accountable and don’t worry about them losing face – they can be an object lesson for others on the penalty for failure and the shame attached to that.  People are driven more by fear of failure, than desire for gain. So hammer them hard.

Wait until you receive perfection, before you hand out any recognition. If you do have to give them any praise, let’s keep it miniscule.  We don’t want them getting a big head.

If they are having trouble with their work, make a point of describing the distance between their current capacity and the problem at hand.  They need to know they are far from the mark and that they had better harden up.

Forget about whether they are happy doing what you suggest.  When did any of your bosses care about whether you were happy following orders?  The point is that they should do what you say and their happiness or otherwise is not important in the big scheme of things.  Produce the numbers or else.

Anonymously send this article to your competitors, as a true guide for leaders. Sign it: “This is good. Regards, J”, so they think it is from someone they know.

Engaged employees are self-motivated. The self-motivated are inspired. Inspired staff grow your business but are you inspiring them? We teach leaders and organisations how to inspire their people. Want to know how we do that? Contact me at [email protected]

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About The Author

Dr. Greg Story: President, Dale Carnegie Training Japan

Author of Japan Sales Mastery, the Amazon #1 Bestseller on selling in Japan and the first book on the subject in the last thirty years.

In the course of his career Dr. Greg Story has moved from the academic world, to consulting, investments, trade representation, international diplomacy, retail banking and people development. Growing up in Brisbane, Australia he never imagined he would have a Ph.D. in Japanese decision-making and become a 30 year plus veteran of Japan.

A committed lifelong learner, through his published articles in the American, British and European Chamber journals, his videos and podcasts “THE Leadership Japan Series”, "THE Sales Japan series", THE Presentations Japan Series", he is a thought leader in the four critical areas for business people: leadership, communication, sales and presentations. Dr. Story is a popular keynote speaker, executive coach and trainer.

Since 1971, he has been a disciple of traditional Shitoryu Karate and is currently a 6th Dan. Bunbu Ryodo (文武両道-both pen & sword) is his mantra and he applies martial art philosophies and strategies to business.

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