How to Win Friends and Influence People. In the Digital Age.

At some point in your life, you'll need to convince someone to do something.

Giving you a deal on your first car,

Getting someone to go on a date,

Staying up 30 min past your bedtime,

Influencing people is a skill.

Here's how you do it – via a Twitter thread I did.

**Introduction**

Human nature is made of three major parts:

1. Honest Communication

2. Authentic Connections

3. Meaningful Achievement

Meaning is derived when interaction leaves someone better off. Winning friends requires sincere interest, heartfelt empathy, honest appreciation

1/ ESSENTIALS OF ENGAGEMENT

Communication can be fickle, with tools that can give so much reach. Remembering to not complain, criticize, or condemn and shifting from a spirit of exposé to encouragement will take you far.

2/ AFFIRM WHAT’S GOOD

Affirmations come from a true place of seeing and knowing someone well enough; flattery is admission of insensibility. Remember that people aren’t things to be molded, but lives to be unfolded.

Affirmations require taking the time to getting to know someone

3/ CONNECT WITH CORE DESIRES

Start with why. In order to influence others to act, connect to a core desire. Influence requires intuition and will go to the one who sets aside ego and gets dirty. Be gentle in manner and strong in deeds

4/ 6?WAYS TO MAKE A LASTING IMPRESSION

To get others to be interested in you, you must first show an interest in them. Do so with no strings attached. People are attracted to people who care about what interests them

4.1/ BEGIN FROM A PLACE OF AFFINITY

Friendships are always easier when they begin from a place of affinity. The potential for relational connectivity is astronomical.

As Thoreau said: Goodness is the only investment that never fails

4.2/ SMILE

To someone who has seen a dozen people scowl, frown, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. The smile is often the first messenger of your good will.

4.3/ REIGN WITH NAMES

After the gift of life, a person’s name is the first gift they receive. That person is more interested in their own name than all other names on earth put together. To remember names – use it multiple times in convo, write it down and affix it to a memory

4.4/ LISTEN LONGER

Listening and presence go hand in hand. When you listen well, you not only make an instant connection, you build a solid bridge for connection. To improve your listening skills, don’t ask how’s your day, instead ask, what made you laugh/cry. Go deeper

4.5/ DISCUSS WHAT MATTERS TO THEM

Most messaging today is a monologue when it should be a dialogue. Tend to educate others about compelling portions of ourselves we think they would be attracted to. True influence comes from individuals connecting and nursing those relationships

4.6/ LEAVE OTHERS A LITTLE BETTER

We are taught to focus on the big picture. However, the foundation of leaving others a little better is small picture thinking. On the scales of value, the goal is to tip every interaction from manipulation to meaning

5/ HOW TO MERIT & MAINTAIN TRUST

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And now back to the action

5.1/ AVOID ARGUMENTS

Avoiding arguments and not saying, “you’re wrong” can be two of the most challenging things to do. Two people cannot fight if one person does not want to. Put in the long run, you will have more relationships for it

5.2/ NEVER SAY YOU'RE WRONG

"For real friendships, they must ever sustain the weight of honest differences however sharp they may be." Problem solving begins with an emptying of the mind. In negotiations, when both acknowledges the other may have legitimate concerns you'll go far

5.3/ ADMIT FAULTS QUICKLY

No one is perfect, every knows this and yet we try so hard to be. Going even so far as not admitting mistakes when you make them. Admitting faults quickly allows you to move past the issue quickly and towards restoring trust

5.4/ BEGIN IN A FRIENDLY WAY

When meeting new people, remember that friendliness begets friendliness. Lincoln once said, “I don’t like him – I need to get to know him better.” Use gentleness and affability in your approach

5.5/ ACCESS AFFINITY

The start to any friendship begins with affinity. The Law of Magnetism states that when looking for people, who you get is determined not by what you want, but who you are. To move from affinity to influence, you must have a foundation of empathy

5.6/ SURRENDER CREDIT

Ask people about their own goals before you set your own. Then ask how can I help this relationships lead to their goals. The unconventional mind understands success isn’t about attention/accolades, it’s about partnerships towards progress

5.7/ ENGAGE WITH EMPATHY

Acknowledge how the other person must’ve felt and what they’re feeling now. Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you considered the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own

5.8/ APPEAL TO NOBLE MOTIVES

We long to be people who make a difference. Appeal to noble motives means, “You are capable of doing the right, honorable, true thing – I believe in you.”

5.9/ SHARE YOUR JOURNEY

People don’t want to be treated as commodities, but more than that, they don’t want to see their lives as ordinary. When your journey is our journey, we are both compelled to see where it goes

5.10/ THROW DOWN A CHALLENGE

Competition is one of the most compelling realities of the natural world. People want to level up; their vision raised; sometimes that means throwing down a challenge. Get dirty for the sake of others and they will get dirty for you

6/ LEADING CHANGE WITHOUT RESISTANCE

This last part gives 7 tips on being a better leader. If you've made it this far, you've got my respect ??????

6.1/ BEGIN ON A POSITIVE NOTE

Begin with praise and appreciation will help people be more productive and inclined to see your point of view

6.2/ ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR BAGGAGE

How well you own up to your mistakes makes a bigger impression than how you revel in your success

6.3/ CALL OUT MISTAKES QUIETLY

It is a leaders responsibility go first, set an example and take risks alongside his men. Pull people out of dejected states quickly and return them to places of confidence and strength

6.4/ ASK QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF GIVING ORDERS

People are more likely to follow a new path if they feel they were involved in shaping it

6.5/ MITIGATE FAULTS

Acknowledge that failure happens. Encourage dialogue to foster trust. Separate the person from failure. Learn from your mistakes. Create a risk taking and failure system. Save written communication for praise and constructive advice

6.6/ MAGNIFY IMPROVEMENT

Deliver praise from the heart. Deliver praise as soon as possible.Make praise specific. Praise people publicly. Praise only when one achieves good results, encouragement equals the belief in the talents, skills, and abilities of another because they exist

6.7/ EMBIGGEN THE SMALLEST MAN

Give others a fine reputation to live up to: This is no an expectation to live up to but a possibility to live into