How and Why I Set Professional Boundaries

Let me set the scene: I’m having a meeting with a client and we are ticking through a list of agenda items when all of a sudden, the mood changes and I find myself on the receiving end of an irate tirade. I immediately move to my go-to de-escalation techniques, which include checking my rate and tone of speech to ensure neutrality and ensuring I am making factual, unemotional statements.

I say something to the effect of “we communicated multiple times about this deadline and it has passed now, but here are the options we still have available.”

That is met with a shouted, biting “I’m not going to be lectured like a child.”

I ended the meeting immediately, and long story short, I have disengaged with that client, and they are on my “never do business with again” list.

This is NOT the first time I’ve had to deal with a scenario like this, and it probably will not be the last. I handled this scenario much differently than the first time I encountered something like this because I have learned the importance of setting appropriate professional boundaries.

There is bad behavior everywhere, but it feels like people are more comfortable behaving poorly when they are in the setting of the hospitality industry. I’m not going to dwell on what could be the reason(s) for this because, quite frankly, the reasons are irrelevant, and I don’t want them to be perceived as me “giving a pass” for this kind of behavior. There is no pass.

What’s more important to me is sharing my thought process to bring awareness to the importance of setting boundaries, and learning from others. From the beginning of an engagement with a client, I set some basic ground rules for how we will work together, how we will communicate, and when we will communicate:

1. Documentation – this is a key piece of how we work together. Whether it’s our master timeline, detailed budget, run-of-show document, or meeting agendas, there are several documents that I rely on throughout the planning process to ensure that everyone on the team is on the same page, aware of upcoming decision deadlines, and working towards the same goals.
2. How we will communicate – this is not a one-size fits all approach, and there is no one style that works for every scenario. But, the key methods I use are meetings (face to face and virtual), phone calls, and email. Other methods could include IM, text, social, etc – be clear about what methods are acceptable to you, as well as which are off limits.
3. When we will communicate – this is a big one. Event planning is not always a 9-5 job, but that does not mean that I am available to you 24/7 for the entire duration of planning your event. Being clear about when you are generally available for meetings, phone calls, and responding to messages, as well as what the expected response time will be when things are sent outside of these times.

Your Turn:

These are just a few of the ways that help me set appropriate professional boundaries, and ensure that I am delivering at my best for my clients. I’d love to hear how you approach this topic, AND what your go-to line is when a situation is about to escalate.

Mazda T. Miles, CMM, is the owner and chief strategist at Perfection Events in Philadelphia. The firm specializes in design, planning and production of meetings and events for corporations, associations, nonprofit organizations and public sector entities. Learn more at perfection-events.com or call 888-267-1859.