How Well Is Your Divorce Attorney Telling Your Story?

If you ever have the privilege of serving on a jury, the judge is likely to begin the trial by advising you to adjust your expectations. “This isn’t going to be like Perry Mason or Boston Legal or The Good Wife,” the judge might say. “This trial is likely to move slowly. There will be no grand speeches, no surprise confessions on the witness stand. This is a court of law, not a TV series set.”

On one hand, this judge will have a point. Television and motion pictures are designed for entertainment, not the administration of justice. Also, in drama, time is compressed. Dialogue is snappy. Conflict is maximized. Legal niceties can be discarded cavalierly for the sake of dramatic convenience. And above all, any good TV or movie trial requires a surprise twist or unexpected reveal, something that almost never happens in real life.

On the other hand, it would be a mistake to completely dismiss the notion that a trial is not theater. The principles of drama — character, narrative, conflict, theme, catharsis — often do play a significant role in how a matter is decided. In fact, an age-old legal maxim tells us: “In a trial, the side with the best story wins.”

This adage is particularly true in divorce law. Divorces, by their nature, pit two individuals against each other in a high-stakes contest. At play is the disposition of community property, the determination of separate property, as well as the establishment of any long-term financial responsibilities (e.g., alimony, child support) one party may owe the other.

Even when the divorcing spouse claims they are seeking an “equitable” arrangement, the fact is, any such contest likely will have its winners and its losers, and each party wants to be on the winning side. How well the divorce attorneys manage to convey their clients’ cases through narrative, presentation, and the generation of empathy will go a long way in determining the final settlement the judge decrees.

So, what does a good attorney do to plead a divorce matter? And how can you pick the best attorney for yourself, should you ever need one?

What follows are the elements successful divorce counsel use to tell a winning story:

Just the Facts, Ma’am

The hero of the TV cop drama Dragnet was Joe Friday, a laconic, by-the- book detective who wanted “just the facts” of any case he was investigating. A good divorce lawyer will be similarly diligent, not only taking the time to collect the objective particulars relevant to your marriage and its dissolution but also confirming their legitimacy. When you go to court, you similarly want your evidence to be rock-solid. The last thing you need is the opposing counsel casting doubt on your evidence or, worse yet, revealing key parts of your case to be exaggeration or fabrication.

The Hero’s Journey

In his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, literature professor Joseph Campbell famously created a template for storytelling he dubbed “The Hero’s Journey.” Drawing on everything from Greek mythology to Shakespearean drama, Campbell’s “monomyth” has served as the basis for films ranging from Star Wars to The Lion King to The Hunger Games.

Similarly, when preparing to argue your case, a good divorce lawyer will take those facts we just discussed and arrange them in a way that tells an equally compelling tale— with you as the hero. Like any good protagonist, you may at times appear flawed, vulnerable, and even capable of poor decisions. Yet in the end, your counsel will portray you as the person most deserving of a positive outcome.

Workshopping

Unlike movies and TV shows, Broadway plays, whether dramas or musicals, usually go through an arduous process called “workshopping” before opening night. Beginning with a simple script, the writer, director, and cast, working as a team, will manage to put the show together. Bit by bit, scene by scene, this dedicated group will identify what works, discarding what doesn’t, continuously polishing the production — often with live audience feedback — until they have what they believe is a winning product.

A good divorce attorney works in much the same way. Starting with your story as you present it, they will edit your narrative, role-play with you, coach you, and even help you rephrase testimony so it is as compelling and sympathetic as possible, all while staying within the boundaries of truth.

In this sense, your attorney is akin to a movie director or symphony conductor, coordinating the presentation of elements so emotions rise and fall in a rhythm designed to elicit the best possible effect.

Reading the Room

Any live performer knows the importance of “reading the room,” that is, being sensitive to the tenor and mood of the audience. Consider a courtroom as a theater with an audience of one: the judge. As a litigant, you want the judge to like you. To sympathize with you. To be on your side.

Invariably, this requires you to be humble, courteous, respectful, and most of all, truthful. (Most judges have spent years on the bench and possess heightened B.S. detectors. They can easily sniff out people who are evasive, hostile, snide, or prone to exaggeration and fabulation.)

They also don’t like whiners, complainers, smart alecks, or those given to angry outbursts. A good divorce attorney will therefore advise you how to comport yourself in court and even how to control powerful negative impulses (those damning traits the opposing counsel will try to get you to express).

In my 22 years of litigating divorce cases, I have grown to understand the power of a strong narrative to our most important audience — the judge. The right story must be carefully constructed and executed for this individual to evoke the right response: a positive outcome for the protagonist.?