How Well Do You Negotiate?

The 5-Step SuzieSquared Method of Mindful Money Negotiations 

Seems like we negotiate for just about everything. Parking spaces. Salaries. Even sex. Yet what is the core, or the Center Place, from which we engage in our verbal discussions? According to the root word in Latin and its current understanding that originates from the 1590s, ..."to communicate with others in search of mutual agreement" is what it means to negotiate. The Latin etymology is "not" or "neg" combined with "otium" to mean, in essence, "not leisure". No wonder we feel like its work to negotiate. Because it is.

Yet, when done mindfully, with our eyes wide open and our intention clear, we can master how we communicate with others in search of mutual agreement. My business partner and I, Susan Howell, The MoneyMaestra, launch our 1st workshop for #SuzieSquared this Thursday, October 15th. For women only, we are offering the 5-Step SuzieSquared Method of Mindful Money Negotiations. Get your tickets here:

What negotiations are NOT, however, is almost more important as what it is. Mindful Money Negotiations are not skills geared to crush it, kill it or slay it. Why?

Because the conquering, conquistador mindset and corresponding behaviors are one of the reasons we live in a bellicose, angry and disconnected world. There is little mutual agreement. We have lost the essence of the root of what negotiations are actually about...for mutual benefit of those involved.

If we view a negotiation as a conquest, there will always be only one party who lives and one who dies. This ancient mindset is what Susan Howell and I will explore, expand and shift during this powerful program. All the women who attend will experience what it means to negotiate from their core Center Place. A path we like to call the Wonder Woman Way of Being.

How do we embody the traits of a powerful, yet present "highest self" that lives inside of us? How can we choose to choose differently in each negotiation? How do we rise above the petty or the picky?

Mindful attention and awareness of what's unfolding in the negotiation and inside of us is the way to master better engagements that will respect all involved.  Here is the 5-Step SuzieSquared Method of Mindful Money Negotiations: 

1. See clearly the playing field of the negotiation: Who is involved with you? What are your roles? What is clear? What is not clear? Hold the perspective that Rumi recommends:

Out beyond right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.

Jalaluddin Rumi

2. Sense the story each party is telling: What do each of you believe? Can you move #BeyondTheStory? How empathetic are you, in other words, put yourself in the shoes of the other person?

3. Soothe any unease in the mind & body: First, become aware of what you're feeling in the body around this negotiation. NOT with the mind, with the felt sense. Tell yourself the Truth about what is arising inside of you.

Breathe.

Balance your fight-flight-freeze sensations. Break away, if needed. 

Allowing yourself to see "what is here now" and sit with what is difficult or scary is the more evolved and mindful choice to work with what is arising. It is the #WiseWarriorWay of relating to challenge versus running from or being driven by it. Learning to sit & stay with your difficulty is what hones your Wonder Woman Way of Being.

Cultivate a Center Place within you. A #MagicSpot of courage that is both #SoftAndStrong.

Remember! Mindful Money Negotiation is NOT about sheer conquering or winning just for the sake of winning.

Rather, it’s about carrying yourself with Dignity, Nobility and Grace, as though you were of royal origins. Which, depending on which wisdom tradition you follow, we all are. It is walking alongside yourself when the going gets tough, working toward what you seek and being willing to walk away from the end goal instead of abandoning yourself. THIS is an act of pure self-love, deep self-regard and true self-care. 

It takes practice.

4. Set your sights on a mutually beneficial goal: Like Diana, the Greek Goddess and Huntress, you must know how to hunt. Not in the way of conquering, but in what you seek. You must learn to hunt your destiny. Huntresses (and hunters) don't kill everything in sight. Good hunters choose what will serve the maximum needs possible with an eye toward right relationship and balance. This creates greater sustainability for all.

5. Stay Present and Pivot Positively: Being able to pivot is the reason the cheetah is such a masterful hunter. Even ibis that fly in v-flock formation silently choose to lead in one moment and then fly into the following formation the next second. Your flexibility, when grounded in solid intention, is like the willow that bends in the storm instead of the oak that cracks in half.

When we stand with dignity and hold others with the same as the container we create, everything shifts. What we intend and how we start with the seed in our hearts, will hold us through a tough experience. We may or may not get what we want. What we will have no matter what we get, is the dignity we walked in with.

The great sense of honoring our Center Place of the Wonder Woman Way lengthens our spine, holds up our chin, pushes our chest forward and allows us to take the next step...or to stand out ground. 

We are present. We are flexible. We are capable.

In summary,

State and Speak aloud what is on the playing field, as you see it. Lay out what your position is. Take the other person into account. 

Learning not to abandon ourselves when we are stressed is an art. Nerves cut short our mental clarity. Short and shallow breathing impacts our fight-flight-freeze reactions. We experience limbic hijack often, where our minds go offline because of our stress, yet very, very few of us know how to mindfully manage our mind and body so we can master our money negotiations.

Breathe. 

Balance.

Return to your Center Place. 

If you want to master these The 5-Step SuzieSquared Method of Mindful Money Negotiations, join us Thursday, October 15th, 9am. Get your tickets here: https://suziesquared.com/