How Well Do You Know Your People?

Our work weeks are often rife with meetings. There’s a lot of messaging and articles out there that meetings are a waste of time. Unnecessary. Over scheduled. Too long. And a lot of those articles and posts are right. A meeting without a purpose or goal is a waste of time. And that applies to weekly executive meetings, project meetings and all the other “noise” that is purported as being useless and a poor use of time.

Let’s take a step back and a few steps up and look down on the strategy map. You have to be tactical about your approach to meetings. Because let’s face it, a meeting with positive outcomes can’t be lumped into a meeting of zero or negative outcomes.

Your number one goal as a manager is to develop a relationship with your people.

Out of the ingredient shelf of meetings, the one meeting format you must NOT ignore is between a manager and their direct report. Often in my conversations with business leaders I’ll ask, “How often do you meet with the people directly under you, one on one?” The responses are staggering. I’ll hear, “Once a year” or “Every couple of months.” If that sounds like you, then you’re not alone. It’s commonplace to set up a meeting with a direct report annually, around “The Review” time, or when something significant comes up, like a promotion in the positive sense, or a disciplinary issue.

Another reason a meeting often occurs for a manager and the direct report: the employee asks for the meeting. It’s all well and good for an employee to ask their manager for a meeting, but if you had more regular meetings with your direct reports, then it wouldn’t need to happen as there would be an agreement on when you talk about things already.

I had a saying when I was directly leading teams: “No Surprises.”

If I was caught out, unaware, or surprised by the nature of a direct report’s behaviour, motivations or desires then I had done something terribly wrong. I could almost always chalk this up to a gap in connecting with them. Was I too busy? Did I have other projects or agendas on the go? Was time being eaten up by other priorities? Likely, but these were all excuses.

What’s the meta of all meetings then? To build relationships. Even if the agenda points get side tracked or the meeting derails somewhat, the opportunity for you, the manager, to learn about your team, and develop deeper, more meaningful relationships with the individuals on your team must be maintained as a central focus. Your number one goal as a manager is to develop a relationship with your people. Understanding what their needs are, how they operate, the things occurring in their domain, and all the other specifics of relevance in their lives is paramount.?

Hearing what matters, and being able to actively engage to assist your direct in being open is vital.

What’s a simple way to ensure that you’re developing this relationship? How do you increase the engagement of your direct reports, and ensure that you know what’s what in their world? A regularly scheduled one on one. How regular? Weekly is ideal, for at least thirty minutes. Make it a part of your schedule as a manager, and ensure that your direct also has it scheduled. There’s no official right way** to run a one on one direct report meeting, as leadership styles, the nature of the relationship, and the nuances of the roles and business will all play a factor. There are however several ground rules that you can abide by to ensure you get the best out of these meetings.

1. Let them speak: Don’t steamroll the meeting. If you are an assertive, expressive, and influence based manager, you may feel compelled to say a lot (about many things). Check yourself - dial down the need to push your agenda and remember the meeting is about them!?
2. Listen: Communication skills are vital, so ensure you are developing your active listening skills. Hearing what matters, and being able to actively engage to assist your direct in being open is vital. Develop your communication acumen and work on being better in this domain.
3. Empathy: You do not have to agree with what your direct report says. Your goal here is understanding without judgment. Being empathetic (by hearing them out), and learning about why the things they say are important to them is your goal here.
4. Relationship: In conflict management, there are several platforms that can become sticking points, such as the topic, the process or how you identify with the issue. Place all these other areas aside and place Relationships as the priority.

Some of you may be thinking as you read the above guidelines, “So am I a passive member of this meeting?” The answer is a resounding NO. Not passive at all.

...understanding without judgment

In fact, what will occur if you approach your meetings this way is a layer of trust as you develop the ability to understand your employee’s point of view, values and driving forces. Over time, having the above as the focus (early on and within each meeting), the early days of your weekly meetings will propel your ability to be candid, direct and forthright all while being? respectful. Your direct will trust that you have their best interests at heart, and the truth is - You Will!!

?Don’t wait. Start your one on one’s with your direct reports now. Schedule it in. Seriously. Open your calendar app now and do it. Let them know you are making this a priority and that it’s gonna be weird at first. It’s new for both of you, and that’s ok. If you can’t schedule your one on one’s every week, then do every two weeks to start. But start somewhere!

**If you want a one on one form to use in your meetings, then contact me here and I will send you a PDF you can use right away.

If you’re interested in talking about strategies to develop your leaders, increase employee engagement or work with Ultra Team Development, then you can reach me via LinkedIn, direct email [email protected] or phone 1+778.558.7210