How we use influence to win over

First idea is to use the food. Eating together can do magic. When someone is involved in eating, tell subtly what you want. If a closed one is angry, take them on dinner or lunch or bring some food. Tell what they want to listen, not what you want to speak. If you can understand the need of the person you can play around. Be genuine with whatever you speak be genuine. It should not be concern for him or her. Or else it leaves a very bad impression. Patience is to know about when to speak and what to speak. Timing matters a lot. When someone is happy it's easier to persuade. When someone is anxious and busy with some work, it's not. So wait. Patience is a virtue.

Nobody cares about what you want — give ample thought to what the other person wants. People behave consistently, they don’t like to change their chain of action — make them say ‘yes’ a few times before presenting your proposal. Turn it into a competition — tell people about how others are doing better, they will naturally want to compete. Set high standards for them. “I know you wouldn’t do this, you are too selfless, honest …etc.” — They would want to follow it. Principle of reciprocity — if you give people an unexpected and personalized favor they will feel obligated to return it in any way.

Scarcity Principle — people want more of things they can have less of. Show the losses of not accepting your proposal. Establish your credibility — people get influenced when they see physical proof of your authority — followers, degree, uniform, etc. Keeping Cards Close To Your Chest - A mystery about you keep the other person engaged in conversation. It will keep the other person hooked. The Nod - Nodding while convincing has magical effects on your discussion prowess. Uniqueness - Every individual is unique so mix up your lines and pace the conversation accordingly.

For extroverts, you can hop from one topic to another with ease but with introverts, give them your time and patience to unwrap themselves to you. Friendship - It is better to influence a friend than a stranger on the road. Make friends. Make networks. Have as many leverage points as possible. Memory - Remembering the first meeting and the conversation which acted as an ice-breaker between two people can rapidly build up the trust which will play a massive role in asserting your argument. The Proxy - If some activity can be done better by your acquaintance, delegate it. Rohan is a better friend of Amit which can convince him to come to a meeting with Sujeet. This is better than Sujeet convincing Rohan.

The Prelude - Don’t ask for favours as soon as the communication starts. People are too smart for that. Nothing beats warmth and care. Win their confidence and keep it. Keep your words. Be helpful before being needy. The Favour - Help in stressful situations to an acquaintance will reap handsome rewards for you in the future. You have won their trust. They find you worthy of their time. Strike the iron while it is hot. Influencing people requires you to have a certain power over them.

Legitimate Power – By the virtue of position. E.g. - The power or authority that your boss or your parents have over you. Reward Power – By virtue of giving something as a reward. E.g. –The power that professors have over students ( where rewards are the grades). Coercive Power –Application of force. E.g. –The power that Indian moms have over their kids due to which they’d stop insisting for chocolates. Expert Power –By virtue of having a higher level of knowledge or skills. E.g. –The kind of power that a doctor has over his patients

Referent Power – by virtue of strong interpersonal relationships/ getting inspired by someone. E.g. –The topper of the class would have this power over the students who wish to emulate him. Needless to say, the last two types of powers are the most effective and in-turn help you influence people and decision making in groups. Persuasion is the ability to influence. Suppose you want a raise from your employer, or maybe the latest gadget, knowing well that there is no chance your father is going to agree. Persuasion is a quintessential part of our daily lives, and communication, in general.

So, how do you persuade your lazy brother to catch up on some exercise? How do you convince some friend to move on, after an uncertain relationship? How do you convince someone to follow his passion for singing? Well, these steps surely will help you out. Listen carefully to what the person has to say. First, give the person a chance to explain their stand, and listen respectfully. Verbally bulldozing someone, will probably get you nowhere. Interact with the person, and express your desire to know their opinion. "I'd love to get your thoughts on X. Would you please share them with me?"

"I know you have some well-thought-out opinions on ‘A’. Are you open to discussing them?" "This sounds like a topic you feel strongly about. It would be great to hear your reasoning.". Be patient and persistent. Remember to acknowledge the thoughts and feelings of the person. A really useful technique is to try to affirm their stance first by saying “If I’m getting you correctly, you’re saying that you find ‘X’ important because of ‘Y’ . I appreciate that, and think that…” and then begin with what you have to say. If you're unsuccessful in convincing the person, don't resort to arguing, or pleading. Instead, let the situation pass, recollect yourself, and try again at another moment, when you have a chance to make your stand appear more reasonable.

Be clear and direct. Build up your emotions. Allow your emotional responses, such as enthusiasm and excitement, to develop naturally during the conversation. In most cases, wait until the end of your pitch to start sprinkling in the emotion and passion. This will ensure that it comes across as sincere and logically conclusive. A good rule of thumb would be to start the conversation on an upbeat but relaxed note. As you start delving into the topic, gradually grow more excited and passionate about what you’re talking about. This way, you will be able to make your stand more convincing.

Be confident. Choose your words carefully and gauge the impact they are having. Some words have more positive associations than others. For example, "lucrative" is a more powerful word than "good," where powerful signifies a greater impact. Your aim is to rearrange your sentences to ensure the meaning comes across precisely. Therefore, you'll come across as a better communicator, as well as be more trustworthy. Highlight why your stand on the topic concerned, is beneficial for the person, focusing on the future, if necessary.

Suppose, you want to convince a friend to help you move out. So instead of talking about all the furniture you need to move, talk about how much fun it will be to go through your old junk, or about how you're buying pizza for everyone afterward. Using the future tense is a great way to establish confidence. It helps the other person know that you are moving forward and ready to carry out what you promise. Positive assertions like “we will” gets the person used to the idea that ‘this’ is going to happen. Try not to be pushy, and make decisions for the other person. Instead talk about possibilities and the effects of various decisions.

Present a logical counter-argument, which has a two-sided approach, and effectively refute your counter-argument. Let's say you would like to persuade your coworker to take on some of the challenging pieces of an assignment, you're working on together. Obviously, he/she may not agree, but a logical explanation that he/she is better equipped to handle that task, means that the assignment will be done faster and more efficiently. Not only should you be prepared for any counter-arguments the other person brings up, you should even consider bringing up the counter-arguments for them, or even introduce a point you don't think they would have brought up on their own. It may sound surprising but, two-sided arguments are more persuasive than one-sided ones. The aim here is to refute the counter-argument after you’ve raised it

Since you’ve gained the prospect’s trust, this explanation will be more impactful, than if you’d waited for them to bring up the issue. Although this may seem counter-productive, but it boosts your trustworthiness and make you seem more convincing, assuming you successfully dismantle the counter-argument. Therefore, setting up arguments before knocking them down will make you far more convincing. Using a slight dose of flattery is something we have all done, but you need to make sure it is not obvious or blunt

As a kid, you probably always said something nice to your parents before asking them for something. Use subtle phrasing and off-the-cuff remarks to make your stand and have your task accomplished. For example, instead of telling your boss the usual, "Hey, that's a really nice tie, do you think I could take an extra hour for lunch today?", you could try something unique like "Can I have an extra hour for lunch today? I know you're usually flexible, but I wanted to run it past you to be sure."

Always have a good smile on your face. See two persons at a time. One with a serious angry face and one with a smile , whom do you think is easily approachable .? Compliment every small things the you see in everyone. According to me , You are the best reader . You took time to read this in middle of your busy schedule. how does this compliment feel like to you ? Look in their eyes and give your full attention when they are talking to you , That makes you a good listener. From the next day, people search for you to share things.They will love your company. They will get addicted to you. Try it.

4.Save their face , even if they are wrong . This will bring more positive change in them. Assume you did a great blunder in your workplace which resulted in lot of problems to your manager . how does it feel, when he points you out in front of all you colleagues. When he warns in general by not pointing you , so that everyone can be careful the next time. The second one seems to be better ??. Off course both serve the same purpose, but the first one will hurt you and you will never like your manager from that day. Never complain or criticize anyone, that makes you look like Negative.

If someone complains about you , before thinking about your mistake , The first thing that comes to your mind is, how to hurt him or take revenge. You may win when you are complaining but you will make more enemies. Always appreciate any good effort from anyone. Have that wise heart. I know you all do this when you find a good answer. Do the same in real life too. You will see wonders soon. Don't forget to appreciate your wife or mother, for the awesome food that you just had. When someone is angry at you, before yelling at them, think a few minutes from their perspective. Everyone has their own version of truth and always try to find , if the other person is having any version that is better than you. Cheers!