How We React to Adversity - Part 5
Menaca Pothalingam
Resilience Leadership Mentor for Healthcare Professionals | Change Catalyst Dentist | Meet Menaca Talk show Host | TEDx Speaker| International Keynote Speaker | Author of Resilience Learned| Mental Health Advocate
NOTE: This is Part 5 - the final of a five-part series on How We React To Adversity.
in Albert Einstein's words “Failure is success in progress.”
The only way you can avoid problems at all times is by never trying anything new or evolving. Unless you avoid action nor develop you will face trials, tribulations, setbacks and failure. Acknowledging making mistakes and misjudgements can draw a line and create a conclusiveness about the adversity which can be integrated into the path to success.
You can exhibit resilience and growth by demonstrating the change in your thought, attitude and behaviour, communication and how you deal with things as you move forward. This can be achieved by learning lessons, adapting to the changes, skilfully handling challenges and most importantly evolving into a sturdier, wiser person.
Start directing your energy into creating your desired outcome and the time for overthinking and complaining is over. It is time to take considered and careful action and fill your days with following through the plan. It is all about your mindset, and you are in charge of your emotions, thoughts, perceptions, reactions and at every moment. In a nutshell, you are the only person responsible for your success, failure, trials and jubilations.
Paying it forward or giving back gives ultimate happiness and fulfilment. Like Nelson, Henderson said, “The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.”
Making a difference and serving others is the real purpose of our lives. We all have different methods or vehicles to achieve it.
Stage 1: Identification:
Ask questions! Only by asking the right questions, you arrive at the correct answers. It clarifies where your destination is and what you need to do to get there.
First question worth asking is how you got to the present place.
What?
Dive deep into the circumstances or actions or absence thereof or events caused difficulties?
How?
Is there anything that could have been done differently?
Where?
Is there any hindering belief, habit or behaviour personally or systematically inoperative?
Once you identify and understand the above, you can accept and grow in the right direction utilising the appropriate tools.
Stage 2: Personal attributes (attitude, commitment and motivation)
What is your mindset? Are you the half full or the half empty person?
How is your perception of your competence? (self-efficacy, a term coined by Albert Bandura, a child psychologist).
Do you embrace new opportunities?
What are your long-term options? Do you follow through with your goals and desired changes? Or do you use excuses instead of finding leads? (sense of meaning and purpose)
Do you thrive on external or internal motivation?
Feel secure and confident and to honestly believe that there are resources and choices.
Stage 3: Clarity and Evolution
Are you clear about your purpose vision or ‘WHY’, whatever you like to call it?
In the words of Benjamin Franklin “Failing to Plan is planning to fail.”
It is imperative to plan the direction you intend to take, the resources available and most importantly be risk-averse. Create a new, sustainable plan considering changes are an inevitable part of life.
You will develop your own unique path meaning, you will enter, exit, and reroute processes and systems as you move forward.
If you are unclear, try a different Plan or change your Habits.
Are you making the right choices? Are you making decisions aligned with you and your vision?
Are you being proactive or reactive to events
How are you implementing change from your experience?
Identify, evaluate and manage risk from past experiences to incorporate safe behaviours and mechanisms to ensure mental, physical and financial safety.
Are you re-evaluating your path to success and changing directions or navigating around them?
Are you reacting constructively?
Always remember that re-evaluating the situation regularly and reconsidering the processes are not stumbling blocks, rather part of growing wise and mature. When you review things often brings a deeper level of understanding and brings different perspectives.
Have you equipped yourself for your new challenge?
Preparation starts with self-care – health eating, physical exercise and sufficient sleep.
Have you gained the necessary knowledge base and skills from reading, courses, mentors or couches?
Stage 4: Take Charge
As Way Dyer eloquently explains in his ‘Motivation’ seminar states psychologists believe people who have an internal locus of control think, they control what happens to them. This makes them feel more in control, happy and fulfilled.
If you want to succeed, it is imperative to understand it doesn’t come overnight and it takes time. The progression is on-going and will sometimes change pace or halt before it restarts. As Arthur Ashe said, "Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome".
Ensure your goals are congruent with your purpose. Once you have a vision and know your ‘WHY’, it is essential to break it down into manageable chunks. Unrealistic goal setting will demoralise you and people around you.
Action:
Simplify your goal and create action plans to achieve them. Take action with intention and deliberation.
Are you acting with focus?
Are your present habits a result of compulsion or strategic introspective thinking?
True to the old adage, Old habits die hard, and it’s difficult to resist them.
Create long term vision and short-term tactics. Take one small step at a time and achieve one goal at a time. As Benjamin Franklin said “Little strokes fell great oaks.”
Show gratitude and celebrate each achievement (yours and others’) regardless of how small or big they are. This inspires and motivates everyone involved and
Stage 5: Assistance
Seek assistance, guidance and support.
Commit to moving forward with strength, contentment, empowerment, compassion, resilience, and self-determination. Also, spread joy, peace, and light in every direction you can!
The End!
Good one Menaca Joji... worth looking at how one can emerge stronger from an adversity... probably idea for your next article..
Resilience Leadership Mentor for Healthcare Professionals | Change Catalyst Dentist | Meet Menaca Talk show Host | TEDx Speaker| International Keynote Speaker | Author of Resilience Learned| Mental Health Advocate
6 年Thanks for the share LINGESWARAN SRINIVASAN
Chief Manager International Trade & Supplies at Hindustan Petroleum Corporation Limited
6 年Excellent article to cope up with adversity using the 5 Techniques! Very Simple & to the point!??????????
Founder & CEO @ Rockstar Web Design Services | Focused on Client Value, Employee Empowerment & Cost Efficiency
6 年nice
???? Promoting Healthy Living Inside and Out ?? Building Global Teams ??Legionella Risk Assessor
6 年Love this as I truly believe life should be lived with a servant heart for the betterment of others. As Newton's 3rd Law states, 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'. Hence if we go about life in the right way and serve others, we will live a good and happy life as we will be open to receiving too.