How we left half of our species behind

Last Saturday during a training session, one of the participants asked me why women hesitate to ask for what they know they deserve. I don't identify myself by gender but as a human. I am not a feminist but a humanist. After millions of years of human evolution and thousands of years of civilization, it's clear that one gender is still left behind globally. We must have gone wrong somewhere as a species, and now is the time for self-reflection. We need to consider what we can do not just for gender equality or women's empowerment but for the betterment of our species as a whole.

Self-reflection

Girls Will Realize Their True Potential When :

• Parents change their narrative from "good girl" to "brave girl."
• When parents save for higher education of child, and not for dowry or bride money.
• Girls invest more in books than beauty products.
• A teenage girl is more worried about not passing an exam than about a pimple on her face.
• When we stop appreciating a girl seeking approval and a boy breaking rules.
• A girl with reading glasses is seen as equally beautiful as one with lenses.
• Plus-size dresses are easily available, and people stop advising her to lose weight.
• A girl blushes at a boy's comments about her brain rather than her beauty.
• Women stop expecting privileges because they are women and do equal work for equal pay.
• Parents don't stop girls from playing any sport just because she is a girl.
• The menstruation cycle is no longer taboo, and she doesn't shy away from talking about it.
• Promotions are based on performance, not on who is the primary breadwinner.
• A child's name is decided by both parents, not just by the husband's family.
• When the mother can give her surname to the child
• Society stops praising a husband for making tea for his wife and normalizes a wife paying bills.
• We stop hiding women's undergarments while drying them; they are just garments like any other.
• We stop body-shaming on screen.
• When wedding proposals say “Intelligent & well qualified” and not “fair and beautiful”
• We stop buying fairness creams for girls.
• A wife doesn't seek permission from her husband, but they make mutual decisions.
• A man is comfortable marrying a woman who is more qualified than he is and earns more than him.
• When married girls' parents feel equally comfortable visiting their daughter's home for a vacation as her in-laws do.
• Grandparents pray for having a healthy grandchild, not specifically a son.
• Marriages are formed for equal partnership, not for social reasons.
• A wife stops requesting her husband to help with household work and both share responsibilities equally.
• When wedding expenses are equally shared between bride and groom's family.
• Poets write about women's bravery, intelligence, innovation, and resourcefulness, not just their beauty and sacrifices.
• A father can take a career break to raise kids while his wife works, and this is normalized.
• And most important when she stops feeling pity for herself and takes control of her life.

We left half of our species behind, let us fix it together

No policy, no regulation, no government, can bring about this change until each one of us, I repeat “each one of us”, challenge our long-established belief system, consiously put efforts to change our thoughts, and take consistent action at our homes.

It's not about her or him, it's about us.

Neetu Choudhary

[email protected]

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