How we can turn disagreements into understanding
In an article published in the journal?Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, researchers chronicled how they used imaging technology and infrared spectroscopy to record the brain activities of two people who were engaged in a discussion. As part of their study, 38 adults were recruited and asked for their opinions on a series of polarizing topics such as same-sex marriage or the legalization of marijuana. What they discovered was that when people were in agreement, brain activity was harmonious and exhibited synchronicity, and tended to be concentrated on sensory areas in response to social cues from their partner.
However, during disputes, these areas of the brains were less active. and activity increased in the brain’s frontal lobes – home of higher-order executive functions. Scientists say arguing actually burns cognitive energy and can make someone feel exhausted, after even a small disagreement. So, finding agreement is vital, though it’s not always easy to do. It’s one of the tenets of Buddhism, which takes a Zen approach to resolving conflict in essentially flipping the script and adopting a polar-opposite attitude. It’s akin to reverse psychology.
If somebody makes you angry or frustrated, for example, think about loving that person or wanting to be around them all the time. What that does is scrambles your brain and cognitive thoughts. Suddenly, your body questions why you’re angry in the first place. I’ve found myself doing that specifically around extreme political situations where I can actually fool myself into arriving at a place that is free of anger. Now that’s not to say the hate and the anger disappear. But it’s an interesting technique for helping find common ground.