How we bought a home no one wanted

Ten years ago, my husband and I bought our first home — a house no one wanted. In our lush and green gated community, this unoccupied house was the ugliest duckling of the bunch. It was on the market for 2.5 years. The flipped home sat there for countless prospective home buyers to peek through a dense layer of 100-foot tall overgrown eucalyptus trees, say “nope, not this crap-hole,” then turn around and fear damage to their cars in the pothole mess of our steep driveway.

Our real estate agent shared the 100+ disclosures, with lots of zero fun issues to deal with, like electrical and plumbing. Because we were equal parts eager, dumb, and didn’t know what we didn’t know, we said yes. We thought, it’s the perfect job for us. My husband runs a construction business.

Then there’s me. At best, you can rely on me messing up an anchor screw so that whatever I put up falls from the wall 9 out of 10 times. Also, I’ve seen enough HGTV; if a Property Brother with skinny jeans can do it, then obviously I can, too.

The years prior to our North County San Diego move, we saved money with cheaper rent in a 700 square foot apartment in Oakland, on a lively street with bars and restaurants. We bought a nearly 3-acre property in a horse country town in which we knew no one, and every single thing we owned fit in the corner of the living room of our 3,500 square foot home.

At his first visit, my 20-something brother-in-law blurted out, “Why would you want to live here?!”

Initially, I had buyers remorse receiving comments like that. The move was a shock. And clearly we had a vision he didn’t see yet. I found myself crying, “what the fuck did we just do!?” But looking back, I don’t know what I was bitching about. My husband did all the real work, finding contractors and labor, managing the jobs, often doing the manual labor, too. I just helped pay for the mortgage and suggested impossible design opinions.

We did everything piece by piece, when we could afford it, when my husband’s trade employees had weekends free. This home was remodeled by skilled landscapers, electricians, carpenters, drywall and tile installers, plumbers and painters who can do some back bending jobs to make a home safe and beautiful. Many of them are hardworking Mexicans, Guatemalans and many others from south of our border.

I’m proud of this home and it was a long process to get to where it’s at now. It’s often a place friends and family come to stay, hang out, relax. The same brother who questioned our decision to live here typically stays 1-2 days longer than anticipated. I think that’s a sign we did something right.

For those of you who are looking at your home projects and wish lists, I wanted to remind you that what we see on the Internet/Instagram can make us question ourselves, feel like we’re behind, and that their stuff looks cooler than ours. Upgrading a home takes a lot, and sometimes too much of our time, money, and resources. I know that’s obvious but I seem to forget that too, when I’m scrolling.

And one last reminder — and it’s not just for you, it’s a reminder for me, too. Forget the stuff, the upgrades, and the aesthetics. Home is what you define it. For me, it’s with the ones I love, where we feel safe, seen and heard. And it’s where we hold our values.

Now, let’s get to the home makeover you’ve been waiting for. I created a 10-year timeline of everything we did to our home, with Before + After pictures. Notice the major stuff inside our home was done 8 years after purchasing. Everything good is worth the wait.

BEFORE

Photos from the listing.

2013:?We tackled the dirty stuff first. My husband bought a chainsaw at Home Depot and he rented an orange tractor. He chopped down trees, dug out roots, only to look back at the two weeks time he did all of this and realized this is one hell of a full-time job and he needs to get to running his own business to pay for this mortgage.

In the end, we hired tree cutters and climbers to cut down about 150 trees. They were disease or beetle infested and way too close to the house. For two years we lived in a big house on a dirt lot with nothing else but fifty shades of brown. However, it revealed the most epic view we didn’t realize existed when we bought the house.

2014:?We started a garden and also had a baby this year. We built my home office this year, too. What a special treat to have this special space to work in my home.

2015:?This is the year we built a swimming pool, something I thought would never happen after seeing drab dirt and scraggly trees for two years. We poured concrete around the pool and backyard and added some landscaping.

We built my husband’s home office inside the garage. We also painted the exterior of our home.

2016:?We installed central heat and air conditioning because the house didn’t come with either. I spent two summers melting in 100+ degree heat waves, donning a bikini in my home office. In the winters, where it got as low as the high 20s and low 30s, we used a lot of wood from our trees for fires, the only source to heat our home.

To keep our dog fenced in and safe, we installed a vinyl fence around our backyard.

We painted our kitchen cabinets and some of the wood trim around our home so the entire interior didn’t look red.

2017:?We installed solar because our house is run solely on electric and I almost dropped dead when we got our first electric bill after installing HVAC. Also got solar to heat our pool. Oh yeah, we also had another baby here.

2018:?We no longer had an off road experience driving up to our house and we poured a concrete driveway. And we installed a gate at the front entry of our property.

2019:?We remodeled the primary bathroom with amazing help by San Diego interior designer, Abbie Naber. It looked glorious when it

was finished and was a stark contrast to the rest of our interior.

My sister said, “This looks like a nice luxury hotel and it makes the rest of your house look like a cheap bed & breakfast.”

What’s up with our siblings and their uncanny comments?!

2020:?It took 8 years for us to finally work on the interior and I am glad we did it this way because we got to live in our home and make design decisions based on how we live and flow in it.

We replaced all exterior doors and windows from the originals from 1976. In total, we replaced 4 doors and 45 windows, every single one of them was a custom size. This also meant we replaced all the exterior cedar wood siding around each window. We replaced all flooring. Painted every room and interior door. Remodeled the other two bathrooms. During this process we decided our OK-looking kitchen with cheaply made cabinetry and a tilting oven would look like shit so we remodeled our kitchen, too. That was a crazy last minute decision. This remodel started in 2020 and ended in the fall of 2021.

This was also the year our nephew moved in. I’m glad our giant house was put to good use!

2021:?Everything we did in 2020 and 2021 was a fortune-and-a-half. And one big headache for my husband to manage all the contractors while running his own business. We focused on finishing what we started and swore we’d never do another thing to this house again.

2022:?Just kidding. We took on more and replaced the original garage doors, something my husband wanted to get done for a long time because this is where he works out and keeps his beloved fishing gear. The doors go up with a button and we no longer have rats and frogs freely entering through the bottom cracks.

We also built beautiful wooden decks in the front and back yards.

We repainted the exterior of our home.

2023:?We plan on updating our main bedroom closet but I truly do not feel like doing it. Our house is done. But is it ever done?

AFTER

I decided to share real home shots taken on my iPhone, not the staged ones for a portfolio. If you want to see those, you can view them?here?and?here.

I tidied up a little bit but not too much because I was lazy and quickly snapped photos before we left for the grocery store. I also want to remind you that I have a nanny and a house cleaner so don’t you even think those negative thoughts about why you can’t ever get your house nice and clean. I have help and no way I can keep up with this house looking like this without support.

Originally published on stephaniecooley.substack.com