How voting became easier than saying what you mean ??

I’m always drawn to research that questions things we think we already know, like, ‘Do conversations end when people want them to?’ It’s a weird question, but it got me thinking about honesty. Not as some high-minded ideal, but as a habit we’re constantly negotiating with, and usually failing at.

The study shows?conversations almost never end when both people want them to . About 68% of people reach a point when they’re ready to check out, but 90% keep smiling and nodding.

Researchers call this a “coordination problem.” If we want to end a conversation, we’d have to be honest about wanting out, but that’s risky, and social norms make it worse. No one wants to offend the other person, so we just sit there, hiding how we really feel and hoping they’ll end it first. I call it "ridiculous."

We’re both stuck, uncomfortable, waiting for a signal that never comes, all because we’re too afraid of the awkwardness of just saying it.

I’d love to say it’s just a quirk of politeness, but it’s how we’ve evolved to handle almost everything uncomfortable. Think about it. How often do you nod along, even when you disagree, because it’s easier than telling the truth?

Avoiding conflict feels safer, but we sacrifice our needs for social comfort. The bigger problem is, it doesn’t end with small talk. This habit of polite self-censorship seeps into our choices in every part of life, including how we vote...

Another election just came and went, leaving the usual wave of anger and confusion. Everyone’s pointing fingers, calling the other side clueless, and asking, “How could this happen?” But for me, the real surprise isn’t the results, it’s how we pretend to be shocked.

People have been talking about why they vote the way they do for at least 10 years now. Those conversations didn’t stop with a different president or simply because we wanted them to. What’s more likely is people started lying to keep things polite, and the truth slipped out in a voting booth, when we all faced choices that reveal more about ourselves than small talk ever will.

This is the part where I have to tell you that avoiding conflict has a price. In small talk, it’s just awkwardness. But in bigger arenas, like how we vote or manage our money, it’s everything from wasted time to missed opportunities. Socially, we become less connected. Emotionally, we feel trapped in routines that don’t serve us. Financially, we avoid necessary conversations about debt or expenses.

Culturally, we become more practiced in polite avoidance than in the honesty to live the lives we want . We end up building a world driven by what we don’t say. It’s exhausting and keeps us from ever being fully known. To break this cycle, we must build our tolerance for daily, inconvenient truths. Here are three ways to get there:

1. Face one financial truth today. Look at that credit card balance you've been avoiding, or your monthly food budget. Spend 10 minutes really digging into the numbers, even if it pisses you off. Acknowledge how you feel about it, whether it's embarrassed, sad, whatever. Just don't ignore it.
2. Have one honest conversation this week. You know the one. We all have that lingering issue with a friend, family member, or co-worker that you keep smiling through. Be direct and say how you really feel. It's uncomfortable, but try: "I've been feeling XYZ, and I want to be honest about it." You'd be surprised how freeing it is to just say it, even once.
3. Get real, anonymous feedback. Good feedback is the fastest way to improve, but most of us aren’t really getting it. That’s like trying to cook a meal without ever tasting it. You’re making guesses, but you’re not really sure what needs fixing. One way to get to the truth is to give people an anonymous way to tell you what they see. It could be a survey at work, a digital suggestion box, or just an anonymous poll with close friends. You’d be shocked by how much clarity people can offer when they don’t feel the social pressure to keep things polite. And if you’re serious about getting better at something, it’s worth getting feedback that’s as unfiltered as possible.

Practicing honesty in the small stuff starts to shift everything. It builds a habit of facing facts head-on, which affects bigger decisions like the choices we make, the relationships we keep, and the way we spend our money. Polished, conflict-free versions of ourselves may seem easier to present, but they only create distance. Embracing those messy, inconvenient truths is what actually brings us closer and helps us build lives that reflect who we really are.

This week on the podcast, we talked about the #1 issue on voter's mind: inflation. We discussed both candidate's positions and potential impacts, but it?isn't just a run-through of policy papers. We're talking about how these candidates are choosing to frame the fight against inflation, the cultural anxieties it reflects, and the real-world impact these choices will have on your everyday life.

Listen to episode 187 now or watch it below on YouTube