How verbal diarrhoea can impact our dreams

@eliotkellyofficial

In first century Rome, an innovative glassmaker created vitrium flexile, flexible glass. Proud of his invention, he requested an audience with emperor Tiberius. The emperor threw the drinking glass down on the ground, but much to his surprise, it did not shatter. At the time, all drinking vessels were made of gold and silver, which tainted wine with a metallic taste. Considering the glassmaker’s creation, Tiberius realised it would completely disrupt the Roman economy. If goblets were no longer made of gold and silver, the value of the precious metals would diminish immeasurably.

Tiberius asked the glassmaker if anyone else knew the secret formula. When the inventor took a solemn oath that he alone knew how to create vitrium flexile, the emperor had the man beheaded.

Fortunately for us, the ‘secret’ of success wasn't lost with the glassmaker's head. For thousands of years, success in human life has been studied by great thinkers and philosophers. Studies show that sharing goals on impulse or prematurely can lessen the likelihood that we will see them into fruition. If you are serious about a goal, you may want to hold off on premature press releases and hold back from social media posts until you have made some real progress with the whole project or plan.

Focus groups have been held since the 1930s proving the theory. Participants who had a goal, but harboured it for a while, had far more motivation and passion to make headway toward completing their project or plan. While those who immediately announced their plans before laying any groundwork, went on to linger far longer – if not indefinitely – in those critical beginning stages, and in the end, were far less likely to reach their goal.

In today’s article we will share three reasons why you may not want to prematurely announce your big goals:

Accountability does not always work

While traditional advice urges us to seek an accountability partner, research suggests that in some cases, accountability can decrease our motivation.

Authors and psychologists, Michael Enzle and Sharon Anderson, found that when a participant was being monitored by an experimenter whose intention was to control their behaviour (either to make sure they complied or to evaluate their performance), the participant’s intrinsic motivation decreased. But if the participant was told that the experimenter was watching them only out of curiosity, there was no observed effect on the participant’s intrinsic motivation.

So, when is accountability helpful? In my experience teaching and training hundreds of clients, accountability is helpful when your accountability partner is your friend. Ask yourself, “Is this person a friend I can trust to hold me accountable?” Odds are, if they are, they might be a better accountability partner than a stranger you do not trust.

New to goal setting/achievement? Getting negative feedback could stop you.

University of Chicago professor, Ayelet Fishback, reviewed existing research and conducted new studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affect the pursuit of one’s goal. She and her team found:

- When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.

- When positive feedback signals progress, it decreases motivation.

One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less.

If you are new to goal setting/achievement, you will need positive feedback, but if you are experienced, the opposite is normally true. If an individual is being mentored, it may help for the mentee to tell the mentor exactly what kind of feedback they need and at which stages.

“Person Praise versus “Process Praise” could mean the difference between failure and success

Kyla Haimovitz and Jennifer Henderlong attempted in 2011, to gauge the effect certain types of praise have on our motivation. They assigned 111 college students to one of three groups:

- Person praise: feedback related to the individual

- Process praise: feedback related to the method taken

- No praise: no feedback

Each group was then asked to complete three puzzles. After completing the first two puzzles, students in the person praise group received written feedback such as, “Excellent! You must have a natural talent!” Students in the process praise group received feedback such as, “Excellent! You must be using some really effective strategies!” The third group received no praise.

The third and final puzzle was meant to induce failure, and students in all groups received feedback that simply said, “You did not do as well on this last one.” Following the first two puzzles, questionnaire answers showed there was no effect on the participant’s intrinsic motivation. But after the third “failure” puzzle, results showed that, across all grade levels, person praise was less motivating than process praise. Seniors reported greater intrinsic motivation after process praise versus person praise or no praise at all.

These results led researchers, Haimovitz and Henderlong, to infer that “all age groups beyond pre-school appear to be more positively affected by process praise than person praise after encountering failure.

Theoretical and practical studies can only take us so far towards uncovering the ‘secret’ of success. What we do recommend to our readers is that if you are going to share your goals, do it strategically. Before you announce your intentions to someone, think about how it might realistically affect your changes of achieving the goal. Had the glassmaker had and acted on this advice, he may have kept his head.

There is no one-size-fits-all path to success. Deep down we all know what it is that we need to do. We know what will make us happier, what will make us healthier, what will help us to grow. We know exactly what we should be doing with our time, with our lives. We just do not act on it. I have been stuck there too and sometimes it can be an uphill struggle. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes. Take action, do the things that you know you should be doing and avoid the things that you should not be doing. Nobody knows them better than you do.

Eliot Kelly is recognised as a serial Entrepreneur, and has been featured on CNN, BBC Three’s Be Your Own Boss and an extensive list of magazines and articles. His four books have been translated in over 7 languages and are sold in 29 countries, recently being shortlisted for Best Self-Help and Best Advice Books 2019 by The Author Academy. He is regarded as a top Sales, Business and Leadership Management Coach who creates opportunities for his success partner’s through financial literacy and life skills training. He is also a Professional Speaker and continues to inspire present and future entrepreneurs around the world. You Know More Than You Think You Do releases this Spring! Pre-Order Today.

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