HOW TO USE YOUR PAIN AS A MOTIVATOR FOR CHANGE

Let’s face it, no one likes pain. Ask someone who has ever suffered from a true Thomas Jefferson style migraine (like me).

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You know the pain that is so intense that you must lock yourself up in a pitch-black and noiseless room, at night, with heavy curtains drawn, wearing that black sleep patch thingy to cover your eyes, and a pair of your darkest shades on top of that – but still not finding any relief.

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Sometimes even the smell of certain foods like cheese or heavy scented perfumes can trigger pain.

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But try as you might, once the beast is awakened, it quickly spreads from one side of your head, reaching behind your neck, covering your shoulders, and snaking to the other side of your head until the whole skull is engulfed in pain, and you can feel your brain throbbing with such intensity that you are certain it is about to explode.

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Yes, that level of excruciating pain, where even Naproxen becomes nothing more than a handful of M & M’s.

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That is intense pain.

Or how about if you have had surgery? And the post-surgery pain lasts long after the surgeon has left his mark on your skin.

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Or how about the pain associated with the death of a loved one? Those unfinished conversations. Those blasted memories that won’t go away…and maybe you don’t want them to.

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Or how about a broken relationship? The pain of rejection. Ah! Yes! The pain that remains in your heart and mind forever.

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Now, that is pain that will break you…completely.

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So, how do you deal with that level of pain?

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What do you do?

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Well, in my experience, there are two ways that you can use to deal with that level of pain:

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You either work with the pain or you work through it.

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1.??Work with the Pain

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When you are in extreme pain, you tend to reach for a quick remedy seeking immediate relief. And you want it to come fast.

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But sometimes, it is hard to find relief right away. Sometimes, it takes longer than you hope. Sometimes it takes longer than you can wait.

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So, you try to kill the pain.

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If not through the remedy, then through other means.

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This could be through substance abuse, torturing yourself, or worse, ending your life.

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Some people believe that those who turn to suicide are selfish because they are not considering the effects of their action on those they leave behind.

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Others feel that when a person has reached their total capacity to handle the chaos of their mind, they break and for them, suicide seems to be the only option.

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I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can see things from both perspectives.

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There is a fine line between grief and despair.

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Grief can make you swim in sorrow for a long time.

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But despair will kill you quickly.

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All I can say is that if you are walking through that dark valley, don’t stay alone…in your mind.

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Other times you ignore the pain.

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This may not be as bad as killing it by using drastic measures, but it can still be excruciating.

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For example, have you ever noticed that when you are having physical pain in your body, let’s say your foot hurts, that you tend to compensate for it by putting more pressure on your other foot?

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So, you may walk with a limp. Or you may walk with more of your weight on your better foot. Or your bad foot may land improperly when you put it down because you are trying to avoid hitting the pavement with the spot where it hurts the most.

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You will try to ignore the pain and push yourself to continue walking, even though you are in great pain.

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Unfortunately, what will happen is that not only will the pain in your bad foot get worse, but you will also end up causing problems for your good foot.

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By ignoring your pain, you will only make things worse for yourself.

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Neither one of these options seems to be beneficial for you or even those around you.

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So, let’s consider the other option then…

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2.??Work through the Pain

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Although no one wants to go through pain, we have all experienced it at one level or another.

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Importantly, pain isn’t always bad. Even though it mostly feels like death.

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Physical pain is your body’s way of alerting you that something is wrong. And if you listen to it closely enough, you may just be able to get the proper relief it needs.

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But pain is not just physical, it is also emotional, spiritual, and mental. It isn’t always easy to spot the pain in these areas, especially if you were brought up to suppress your pain.

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If you are experiencing emotional, mental, and spiritual pain, it is just as important to find a way to work through that so you can heal yourself and move forward in life.

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To figure out if you are experiencing emotional, mental, or spiritual pain, you must become self-aware.

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Self-awareness comes from loving yourself.

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Again, if you were brought up in an environment where you were told to deny your feelings and suppress your emotions, you are unlikely to understand the concept of self-love and become self-aware.

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You probably think self-love is a selfish concept. You may have been told that if you practice it, you are a snob or egotistical.

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But nothing could be further from the truth.

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Consider this example:

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If you were a jug of water, and everyone came to you with an empty cup, and you in your selfless state filled everyone’s cup, never having a moment to replenish yourself, once you are all poured out, who could you pour for anymore?

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Yet, many of you do this every day.

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In fact, you may have done it for so long that you have probably either forgotten who you were or worse, never knew your true self.

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If you have arrived at a state in your life where you feel mentally exhausted, lost, and confused or if you are feeling unworthy and questioning your value, maybe it is time to find a way to work through your pain.

?Here are 10 things you can do today to help yourself to make sense of where you are in life and how to use your pain as a motivator for change:

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1.????Give yourself permission to take care of yourself.

2.????Practice meditation/pray.

3.????Practice deep breathing.

4.????Exercise. Even a simple walk can do wonders for the mind and body.

5.????Eat & sleep well.

6.????Seek professional help if necessary.

7.????Be mindful of where you are putting your time, effort, and energy.

8.????Make time for things that give you joy. Make art. Cook. Listen to music.

9.????Spend time with people who bring you peace and comfort.

10. Make time to write about yourself in a journal. Use this as a guide to help you write your biography that may help someone else in the future.

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Remember, pain is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to destroy you. With self-love and a strong support system, you can heal and live a decent life. But to do so, you must first become self-aware of where you are experiencing pain in your life. And if you have already realized your pain and found a way to overcome it, how about sharing your story to help others who are struggling with their pain?

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Until next time,

Keep Creating!

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Angelina

?Creative & Motivational Storyteller

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