How to Use Words to Shape Your Life and Others

Every day, our minds produce an incredible number of thoughts:

• Per Minute: Around 48 thoughts
• Per Hour: About 2,900 thoughts
• Per Day: Up to 70,000 thoughts

In the middle of this mental storm, we constantly talk to ourselves. This self-talk shapes how we see ourselves and our world. The sad truth is that this inner dialogue often isn’t positive. In fact, it leans toward negativity unless we actively work to change it.

On average:

Positive Self-Talk: If you’re focused, you might manage 1-2 positive affirmations per minute, adding up to about 2,500 positive thoughts daily, but only if you’re intentional.

Negative Self-Talk: Without control, negative thoughts can dominate, adding up to more than 6,000 each day.

Here’s the harsh reality: Around 70-80% of people deal with mostly negative self-talk, often without realizing how harmful it can be. This happens because our brains are naturally wired to focus on potential threats for survival. But when this tendency runs wild, it can start tearing us down. For leaders especially, this can be a major problem. How we speak to ourselves affects how we lead others. If you’re caught in negative self-talk, it’s hard to show confidence, make clear decisions, or inspire those around you. Positive self-talk, on the other hand, builds strength, models healthy behavior, and helps create a positive environment for those you lead.

The stories you tell yourself deeply influence how you view your abilities, self-worth, and overall well-being. If you constantly replay scripts that tear you down, you’ll start believing them. For many, these thoughts become barriers that hold them back, harm confidence, and hurt relationships.

But here’s the good news—you have the power to rewrite this script. The way you talk to yourself is under your control. Just as negative thoughts are habits, positive ones can be too. By replacing harmful self-talk with affirmations that build you up, you can shift your mindset and change your reality.

In the end, the words you use matter more than you think. They can lift you up or pull you down. Your internal monologue is always running—so why not make it one that inspires, empowers, and helps you grow?

You hold the pen to your story. Use it to create a narrative that builds you up, not tears you down. Choose words that help your mind and heart and inspire positive actions toward yourself and others. As a leader, remember that your self-talk impacts not just you, but those you lead.

Practical Practices to Shift Your Self-Talk:

If negative self-talk is holding you back, here are a few simple ways to start changing it:

Start Your Day with Positive Affirmations: Begin your day with words that lift you up. Repeat 3-5 affirmations each morning, like “I can reach my goals” or “I am worthy of respect.” The more you say them, the more they stick, helping positive thoughts become a habit.

Catch and Replace Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts pop up—and they will—catch them and switch them out. For example, if you think, “I’m not good enough,” replace it with “I’m improving every day.” Small changes like this can make a big difference.

Practice Gratitude: Gratitude helps you focus on the positive things. Spend 5 minutes each day writing down 3 things you’re thankful for. Doing this regularly encourages a positive mindset.

Check In with Yourself Daily: It’s easy to be hard on yourself without noticing. At the end of the day, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: Was I kind in my self-talk, or was I too critical? Spotting these patterns helps you make changes.

Visualize Your Success: Picture yourself succeeding while saying positive affirmations. Visualizing your goals, while thinking positive thoughts, makes them feel more real and achievable.

Adding these practices to your daily routine can gradually change how you talk to yourself. The more you build positive habits, the easier it becomes to create a mindset that helps you thrive.