“How To Use Someone’s Prejudices To Your Advantage” - Negotiation Insight

 “Someone’s prejudices can be harmful or beneficial. The perspective depends on who’s making the assessment.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)

“How To Use Someone’s Prejudices To Your Advantage”

As a couple entered a restaurant, the hostess muttered to no one in particular - they must be confused. They appear to be destitute. To annoy the ma?tre d’, she seated the couple in a prominent space. She wanted to use his prejudices against him and to her advantage. They had a long-running feud. And this was her way of irritating him.

When the ma?tre d’ observed where the couple was sitting, he looked skyward and said, help me, lord. He hurried to the hostess and asked in a very sharp tone, why did you seat those people in that area? You know I don’t like individuals that appear out of place. They’ll detract from the ambiance and ruin the aura of the environment! The hostess smirked and said, you’re right - I did know that. She had just taken an opportunity to needle the ma?tre d’ and use his prejudices to her advantage.

The previous story is an example of how someone’s prejudices can be used to your advantage. Doing so can stretch across different environments and occur in many settings. Think of the following when considering how you’ll advantage your position by using someone’s prejudices in your interactions with them.

Gender Consideration:

When taking into account the role someone’s gender may play in addressing their preferences, don’t allow that to be a significant factor. Instead, place a greater emphasis on the situation and the personality type of the individual. Some people may respond to situational exchanges that mimic the opposite sex of their gender. To possess a mindset of, she’s just a woman - she wouldn’t do that, can place you in a disadvantaged position.

Identifying Sources of Prejudices:

Before considering how you can use someone’s prejudices to your advantage, you must know what they value and why. Without this insight, you’ll never know which of their biases will be of most benefit to you. To gain insight:

• Play the part – This means appearing as others in the environment to fit into your target’s perception of what’s normal – If you look out of place, you might incur their raft. And this would place you at a disadvantage. The more you appear like someone and their environment, the more they’ll see themselves in you.

When would you want to use someone’s prejudices to your advantage?

There can be a host of reasons that warrant using someone’s biases against them to increase your position.

• Compliance – In some cases, you may want an individual to comply with your commands or desires. You may be in a position where force could be used to accomplish that. But that should not be your first action. Force can sometimes lead to the escalation of a situation, which in turn could lead to a loss of control.

• Crisis – In crises, not only should you consider using someone’s prejudices against them, depending on the direness of the crisis, this ploy may be the best tool to use.

• Guilt/shame – Someone’s prejudices can be used to create a sense of shame or guilt because the individual has strayed outside the bounds of his norms. By persuading the individual to view himself differently, you begin to influence his thought process, which can lead to you controlling his mind and thoughts.

• Gather information – If you seek to gain information about the target’s associates, you can affirm his prejudices. He’ll view you as being like himself and his associates, which will usually free someone’s tongue to wag with hordes of insights and information.

• Create an ally/turn against others – This is another case where appearing to be like your target can attract an intense affinity for you from him. Once a strong bond exists, the possibility will occur to turn this person against those that confront you. If you are outnumbered, creating a divide in this manner can enhance your odds.

Reflection:

Prejudices are inherent in everyone. Thus, they’ll be times when you can take advantage of their predispositions to increase your position. Knowing when and how to do so will give you a huge advantage when dealing with people … and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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