How to use 'pebbling' to strengthen workplace connections

Whether or not you live remotely, we are quickly transitioning into a world which operates more online than off. We're losing our historical avenues of connection, relying on technology to fill the gaps that would have otherwise happened organically.

My latest obsession is the concept of 'pebbling'. I've been thinking about it a lot since it skyrocketed in popularity earlier this year, with the cogs in my brain turning as I'm thinking about how it can be used in the workplace.

Hang on, what's pebbling again?

Historically used for romantic partners, pebbling comes from penguins presenting a pebble to their mate as a token of affection. Cute, right?

To make it a little clearer, let's take Psychology Today's definition: People are using the term 'pebbling' to refer to collecting and sharing little things with someone so that you can build a bond.

Think random acts of kindness, bids for connection, moments of thoughtfulness.

Tell me about pebbling at work

So many of us live our work-lives online. Even if you're a physical office worker, chances are you're at least doing some of your correspondence virtually with international teams, clients, or vendors.

It's easy to forget that there is a human on the other side of that email. We often like to jump straight into business, but realistically relationships are what makes the world go round. It's not surprising that investing in connection helps businesses grow and teams thrive.

That's where pebbling comes in. Micro moments of consideration can make a big impact.

To quote Adam Grant:

"Sending memes, links, and videos to others isn't trivial. It signals that you're thinking of them and want them to share your joy... Pebbling is an act of care. "

How you can use pebbling to strengthen team connection

The key to pebbling is to think small. It doesn't have to be a physical gift and it doesn't have to be groundbreaking - how many times has something someone has said to you in passing made your day?

Here are some examples that have resonated with me in the past:

• Replying or liking your teammates messages overnight (if they're not located in the same timezone as you)
• Messaging 1:1 about milestones
• Similarly, 1:1 message if you know it's been a hard time for them
• Telling someone you liked their work or presentation
• Adhoc wellbeing check-ins - this doesn't have to be huge, a simple 'thinking of you, hope you're doing well' goes a long way
• Messaging them hello when you see them on a virtual call
• Mentioning the people who can't be in the room due to circumstances out of their control eg. meeting times, family obligations (helps them feel included despite not being able to make it)
• Handwritten thank you notes
• Acknowledging their contributions in a team call
• Using live reactions on a Teams or Zoom call
• Sending a message of encouragement before something that they're nervous about
• Asking for little life updates - a photo share often helps humanise over teams
• Sharing something (link, article, video, picture) that reminded you of them
• Asking a small favour (psychologically proven to build trust bonds)
• Putting a coffee catchup in their calendar if you haven't seen them in a while
• Messaging about local holidays or regional [good or funny] news
• Making note of the small wins
• Asking for their opinion

The more I think of it, the more I love pebbling as a concept. My aim is to build this into my work foundation: always say the quiet kind thought out loud - because you never know when someone might really need to hear it.

If you have ways you've used pebbling - or perhaps recall a micro moment that resonated with you - add them into the comments to share the goodness around.