How to use mindset to change your lifestyle

This was one of the earliest topics I covered when I started writing about mindset and personal development, and it is an important one to revisit from time to time.?

About 5 years ago, I finished postgraduate training in Emergency Medicine and became a consultant. The pinnacle of what I had been working towards for the last decade should have been the happiest time, and it was to some degree, but I was also burned out and significantly overweight.?

Although I do not stand on the scales anymore, preferring to use other means to monitor my progress, I estimate that I am still about 30 kg lighter now than I was at the end of training.?

My general health and well-being were shot to bits after years of shiftwork, exams, and excuse-making.?

I was very much in the groove of not getting enough sleep, drinking too much coffee, eating in suboptimal ways, and not exercising consistently. I was also a black belt at kidding myself.?

I would often make excuses for my poor lifestyle- it was ok to eat whatever I wanted because I was on night shift, I finished late so it was fine to have a takeaway, I had a bad day so it's fine to pig out on whatever I wanted. You get the idea hopefully.?

When I did do some exercise I would also kid myself quite spectacularly. During the periods when I was doing a lot of exercise, I would generally eat what I want. This was before I heard the phrase ‘you can't out-train a bad diet’.?

I had peaked and troughed with this over the years. I was never the sportiest of kids, preferring my own company and a video game machine the majority of the time. I discovered rugby in my early teens which was my first real exposure to exercise and team sports. My playing relationship with rugby lasted many years, but it's now an exclusively viewing relationship.?

I moved onto running and so-called ‘functional fitness’ later in life, but was very all or nothing with these. And, as I mentioned above, I used these active periods as a license to eat whatever I wanted.?

In the meantime, my weight/size would peak and trough over time. I was generally a lot bigger than I had been in my younger days but had a few periods in my life where I was very lean. It never seemed to be sustainable though.?

None of the ways of eating seemed to be sustainable options for me, and I tried a good few. Paleo, zone, meal replacement, slimming world, weight watchers to name only a few. They were effective, don't get me wrong, but I had reached a point in my life where I was looking for something a bit more sustainable.?

As I mentioned at the start, I found myself at the end of postgraduate training and in the first year as a consultant, burned out and significantly over-weight. The tipping point was seeing a picture of myself working at a sports medicine event, and I was shocked by how heavy I appeared to be. In addition to this I had some episodes of palpitations, and had attended the GP for review. I was told that my blood pressure was a bit high, and I was sent for some tests including a heart monitor that I had to wear for 24 hours (all normal fortunately).?

Initially I did all the things I had done before. Started running again. Started slimming world. And the weight did start to come off. At the time I was working away from home, which made it much harder to stick to a reasonable eating plan. And over time, I felt the bad habits start to creep back in again.?

It occurred to me that there must be something missing in my approach, to make it more sustainable and long lasting. As it happened I was listening to a fitness podcast for an online fitness group I used to be involved in for men in their 30’s and over. As I was listening to a podcast about fitness mindset, something clicked in my mind. I realised that I had to change the script here. I was worried that I might be beginning to see physical consequences of my lifestyle. And to heap on the pressure I was also now a dad. I wanted to be around to see my kids grow up.?

I started looking at everything fitness and lifestyle related from a mindset point of view. And I want to share some of these lessons with you now.?

Figure out why

This is really important for anything you are doing in life. If you are doing something with no purpose behind it, it is highly unlikely to be a long lasting endeavour. Think how many times you have done this before, started a new exercise or diet fad, and how long it lasted for. Doing it ‘to lose a bit of weight’ or ‘to look good for the beach’ are not a bad reaons, but it is quite hard to emotionally connect to either of these. For me, becoming a parents was a huge motivator. I now had a really stong reason to want to be around a bit longer, one that I could form a strong emotional connection with.?

I wouldn't advise becoming a parent solely to help with this, but it gives you an idea of the kind of ‘why’ I am talking about. What is it about that future vision of your life that you need to connect with? Still being able to take part in physical events when you are older? Better performance in your job? Or just increasing your chances of being functional when you are older?

Change the language

As an experiment, try and tune into your external talk. If you find yourself saying things like ‘I am so stupid’ or making negative comments about your experience, chances are your internal talk is much worse. A really simple exercise you can try for this, is to snapshot this as it comes up and ask yourself this one question. Would you say this to a close friend or family member? And also, how is this language serving you? Berating yourself is not going to help in the long term, lets face it youve been doing it for a long time and how has it worked out so far? It sounds like a cliche, but start working on becoming kinder to yourself. Cleanse that internal environment, it will take time but it is worth it.?

Routines and rituals

Are you currently flying by the seat of your pants when it comes to your routine? There is nothing wrong with a carefree existence, but if you are trying to change your life a good place to start is with routine. It can be the scaffolding around which you construct your day.?

Although I am someone who thrives on routine, I am also someone who prefers consistency where possible, but I have had to be careful that I do not get too dependent on the same things always being done at the same times. This is just not a realistic proposition, especially when you have children or a job with irregular hours.?

Building SOME consistency into your day, whether it be getting up at a similar time most days, or eating at similar times most days is surprisingly powerful. As you progress you can build in new things, like going for a walk at lunchtime for example. There is a lot of overlap with habits, which I will discuss shortly.?

Motivation and discipline

You just need to recognise the difference, and understand that initially when you are making changes in your life you are likely to be highly motivated. This does not guarantee that you are disciplined. Think back to when you have done this before, how long does that motivated phase last for? In my experience, not long enough to achieve sustainability.?

There WILL be times where you dont want to do it, and you are tempted to revert to your old ways. These are the times that really count. Remember your ‘why’- connect with that vision when you feel a bit sluggish or like you just cant be bothered. And embrace the discomfort. I can almost guarantee that you will not regret it. And over time of doing this you will build your discipline. Motivation will come and go, but discipline will keep you consistent.?

Habits

On the subject of consistency, lets talk about habits. Reading ‘Atomic Habits’ was a gamechanger for this. James Clear did such a great job of outlining the science behind habits in an understandable way. Get to grips with what habits are and why they are so important to your journey. Habits are an investment in yourself. Good habits are a vote for the person you want to be, bad habits are the opposite. Over time, these small behaviours will aggregate into something else. Your eating habits determine your body fat percentage, your exercise habits your general fitness level, your financial habits your bank balance, etc. Once you understand how these small behaviours influence your future, you can start to buy into changing them consistently. This is what is really needed. Exercising 6 times a week and eating half the number of calories is potentially a miserable existence, and they are not small changes. This is what many people do. Instead, take stock of your vision and your current small daily behaviours and see where these can be adjusted, in ways that you will be able to do consistently and maintain.?

Keep it simple, but not too simple.?

People will tend to move to either end of this spectrum- it is possible to both under complicate and overcomplicate changing your lifestyle. Consider the person who is looking for a super detailed and rigid diet and exercise plan, that they will struggle to stick to beyond a few weeks. At the other end of the spectrum, consider the people who tell you to just ‘eat less and move more’. Whilst not 100% wrong, it does oversimplify lifestyle change. Aim for an approach that you will be able to sustain over time. Remember this is a lifestyle change, NOT a diet. You have done that multiple times before and it doesn't work.?

Process over outcome

The only side effect of having a ‘‘why’ for lifestyle change is that it can make you a bit too outcome focussed. You need a why, as we discussed above, which is the thing you will refer to in those dark days when you are struggling and can't be bothered. Your day to day focus needs to shift to the present, and doing something that you enjoy. Moving into the mindset of being the ‘kind of person’ that does what you do. Being too outcome focussed can mean that you are constantly travelling to a destination that you never reach, which can be demotivating for a lot of people. Fall in love with the process to make things easier for yourself.?

Responding to failure

This is a handy tip for life in general. Expect that things will not always go to plan. Things will disrupt your training, you might get ill and have to take it easy for a few days, and if you have a busy family life that can throw all sorts of issues into the mix. If you start with the expectation that things will occasionally challenge and disrupt you, you won't be disappointed. It is how you respond that is key- will you throw the baby out with the bath water and give it all up when things get tough? Or will you accept that there are peaks and troughs in the journey? Remember progress is not a straight line upwards, there will be ups and downs. It is how you respond that matters.?

Maintaining it

The holy grail, and the thing that has taken me well into adulthood to get to grips with. As I mention in the body of the text above, I have lost weight many times before but never sustainably. Whatever you put into place eating-wise and exercise-wise needs to be sustainable. When I did Crossfit it was a full-on, 6 times a week effort. I have also done some pretty restrictive diets. Ask yourself a simple question with what you are doing- will I be able to maintain this approach for the rest of my life? If the answer is no, perhaps it is time to move on.

Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.