How to use EQ in dealing with uncertainty.

Humans naturally do not like uncertainty, especially if we have always been living in a pretty predictable environment. Unfortunately, that’s not where we are today in middle of a global crisis and pandemic with Covid-19. The fear that we are experiencing is not only fear of being infected, but I believe many are affected financially with some experiencing pay cut, loss of income and changes in the way we do things.

Uncertainty creates fear, panic, worries, anxiety and all kinds of emotions. The question is how do we deal with it?

In my 16 years of being self employed, uncertainty has become part of life and will always be. No matter how fantastic our business ideas, strategies and plan, there is absolutely 0 guarantee that what ever we do will yield the exact results that we predicted. I have been through so many cycles of uncertainty that I have trained my mind and emotions to be prepared for it.  

Here are some things that I did that has helped me during those times and I hope it will be helpful for you during this time, especially if this is your 1st time facing such scenario or you probably have just launched your business.

#1. BE AWARE OF EMOTIONS

Being aware and acknowledging how I feel. When I am scared, acknowledge that I am scared. Even when I go into the panic mode, I can quickly realise that I am in a panic mode. There is no prize or benefit in pretending your emotions do not exist. And it’s ok to feel these emotions. It’s ok if you are the head of the family having people depending on you and you are now feeling scared. It doesn’t make us irresponsible or incompetent. Awareness is the 1st step, but what is important is how do we deal with it. In EQ, this the Enhance Emotional Literacy and awareness competency.

#2. RECOGNIZE YOUR PATTERNS OF EMOTIONS

Knowing what triggers me to experience those emotions. What are my panic buttons? What makes me feel worse? Reading the bad news everyday? Over analyzing the information and making my own prediction ? Asking too many ‘what if’ questions? For me over analyzing can just make me lose focus on what I need to do know. At times like this, I do read the news to know the development, but just enough for me to know what do I need to do and why I need to do them. For example social distancing so that we can flatten the curve. What is the government’s order on lock down rules etc. This is not the time for me to find all the conspiracy theory available and start analyzing who’s the culprit. In EQ, this is the Recognising Pattern competency.

#3. NAVIGATE YOUR EMOTIONS

Upon acknowledging my emotions, I need to pause and start looking at what are the options that I have that I can start taking action. What is my priority? What do I need to do 1st? By pausing and looking at options, I prevent myself from getting into the panic and reactive state ( read toilet roll panic buying ). In EQ this is the Navigating Emotions competency.

#4 APPLY CONSEQUENTIAL THINKING

Ok, so I am now worry about my cash flow that has come to a stand still. Even though the Movement Control Order in my country at this time is only 14 days, but no one knows what the situation will be after the 14 days. In my home together with my 2 girls, we are on cost cutting where ever we can. We started calculating our emergency funds and we discussed over what can we do to stay afloat wisely during this time. In what ever action that we choose to take, we need to think of the consequences. In EQ, this is the Consequential Thinking competency.

#5 DRAW YOUR INSTRINSIC MOTIVATION

What helps me in being able to pause and applying the consequential thinking is by asking myself what drives me. As a single mother to 2 grown up daughters, I have always wanted to ensure that they do not have to go through the hardship that I had to go through. I don’t have mountains of assets to leave them with, but I only have some wisdom and practical way of thinking that I can equip them with. One of my daughter got into panic moment and asked “Mom what if one of us gets the virus?” and I replied with, “this is where we need to take the extra precaution and not take things for granted” and that calmed her down. This is one of my Intrinsic Motivation ie to be role model for my 2 daughters so that they are strong and equipped to face challenges in their lives. In EQ, Intrinsic Motivation is one of the competencies that helps one develop higher EQ.

#6 EXERCISE OPTIMISM

I learned optimism through gratitude journal writing exercise that I learned 14 years ago. It’s not exactly positive thinking or trying to fake things up, but purely training my mind to see what are the things that I can be grateful for all the time including during adversity. It is so easy to be grateful when things are great, but how do we stay grateful during adversity? The answer is a matter of perspective. There was a time that my gratitude list look like this :

1.      I woke up in the morning and I am still alive.

2.      I am grateful that I am still breathing and oxygen is free.

3.      I am grateful that I have something to eat for breakfast.

I would list out at least 10 everyday. Optimism is also the effort that we need to put in to find opportunity , in every challenges that we are facing. It helps to bounce ideas with friends who are on the same page ie looking for opportunities.

Another way to seek optimism is to change from pessimistic perspective ie PPP - Permanent, Pervasive and Powerless to to TIE - Temporary , Isolated & Effort . For example in this case of Covid 19, instead of seeing this event as it’s the end of the world and we are permanently doomed, read up all the good news on vaccine discovery and no of people who have recovered. China has managed to close down the hospitals that was used to treat patients. With this good news, we know that there is hope for recovery and what ever that we are facing now is temporary. Temporary lock down and temporary Movement Control Order.

Is it pervasive ? Yes, if we don’t exercise precaution , but if we do the necessary steps as advised by WHO, like isolating ourself, social distancing and suspend all our travel plan and mass gathering, it can be isolated.

Lastly, instead of feeling powerless , focus on things that you can do at this time. Don’t feel powerless just because you have to cancel a long scheduled family holiday to your favourite destination. Instead choose to take effort and do something about it. Negotiate with the airline and hotels for postponement without penalty. Focus your effort on what you can do now instead of what you cannot do.

#7 INCREASE EMPATHY

Empathy refers to our ability to feel what other people are feeling and to understand their behaviours from these feelings as well. It’s time to have empathy towards the unfortunate souls who are infected, the medical front liners who are putting their best effort to manage the rise in number of patients, the family of the medical front liners involved in the mission and there are other people who rely on daily wages who are definitely affected by this. Also have empathy towards the senior citizens who are also in need of food supplies, that we don’t need to hog and clear the shelves on the super market out of panic.

#8 PURSUE YOUR NOBLE GOAL

I truly believe everyone has a noble goal whether they realize it or not. Noble goal is our bigger goal that goes beyond ourselves. It is our sense of purpose. For me I know at the end of the day, I know my purpose is to spread joy to others. I love making other people happy and creating results in their lives. No matter how challenging my situation is, I will always find ways to fulfill my purpose, And it is not always about money, but it can be time, messages, and other small acts that can make a difference. By pursuing noble goals, I found that the challenges that I am facing becomes small and manageable as I start to focus out.

Reflect on these components , one thing at a time. Stay calm and breathe.

If you wish to have your team to be EQ ready in facing this uncertainty, send me a private message on my Linkedin. Virtual classes with a group of 10 can be arranged at a nominal fees.