How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Increase Personal Motivation

Get up! Get up, right now. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and quit making excuses. Get your butt moving. There’s work to do and a life to live that is far better than wallowing in disappointment or worse yet — despair. Consider this your personal, digital kick in the pants.

Heck of an intro, huh?!

Well, for me, laziness and a lack of motivation are personal. Earlier in my career, I lacked focus and didn't take the time to "do the work" and hone-in on what I truly wanted-- and what I wanted to do to help others. The result? Lost opportunities, mostly. I met some great people, had a lot of fun and made money, but I lacked the inner-drive and purpose that I knew I needed to truly make a difference.

We all have to live life and get knocked down — we all have to fail — if we’re ever going to learn something about ourselves. But it’s important that we reduce these very real experiences, to mere moments. When these times become prolonged periods of struggle and bitterness, they lead to troubling emotions like envy and hate. Worse yet, they progress toward inactivity and laziness.

Check out my top-ranked LinkedIn Learning course: Leading with Emotional Intelligence!

Our goal should be to work intelligently, with consistency, and to repeat this process so that it becomes a part of our repertoire. We increase in muscle strength and memory as we take more repetitions! We become competitive with ourselves and more refined in the way we think about ourselves and all opportunities we pursue. As I’ve written previously:

This takes effort, courage and love. We can lift the spirits of others by being kind and unselfish, two of the foremost qualities that let people know we care. We will avoid laziness. We can go half-way. Or three-quarters of the way. But we’ll only ever meet with mediocre results that way.

Maybe you know what I mean. All of us make mistakes. All of us fail. It’s entirely possible, we’re lacking motivation in some part of our professional life, right now. But that’s no reason to get down. It’s cause for inspiration, an impetus and call to rise above of our shortcomings and create an ending that culminates in victory.

Working Through

I failed, at times, because I didn’t always give 100%. Some days, I called in sick because I was tired, I wasn’t motivated enough or I didn’t take great enough pride in fulfilling my job duties.

I look back with disappointment at those actions, yet I’m also accepting of the fact that it happened. Now, I’m wiser, more mature and better prepared for any challenge I face. I know the cost of not performing at my best all the time. It’s a day-to-day feeling like something is missing. It's disappointment and a lack of fulfillment.

I’ve learned through emotional intelligence, self-awareness and empathy that there are things all of us can use to our advantage. By being more self-aware, it means we spend time in reflection and introspection to understand our values, the reason WHY we're doing what we're doing and what we're willing to define as the success we hope to achieve. From there, we can set goals.

By being empathetic toward ourselves, we don't knock ourselves down before beginning a day. We're kind and nurturing to ourselves in our self-talk and we develop a passionate care for the work that we do.

We have to get up and see what our present and future hold. If every time we fall down, we complain, get stuck and blame others, we’ll never grow. Excuses can grow higher than weeds in a spring garden, but they’ll never bring us clarity or optimism for the “next try.

Michael Jordan is famous for saying this empowering quote:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If the greatest basketball player ever failed “over and over and over again,” I think it’s safe to say that part of failing is redemption — the opportunity! — to get up again and give it our all. Your first idea for launching a Tech company may have failed. So what? Maybe you need a more creative, attention-grabbing website. Maybe, you need a better business plan.

Or what about if you missed out on a promotion or better opportunity this past year? Try something new. But don’t stop believing there’s a way. Get up!

Learning and Maturing

“Maturity is the ability to reap without apology and not complain when things don’t go well. “ — Jim Rohn

As I’ve grown, I’ve learned that a major part of maturity is understanding the value of giving our all in every circumstance. I write a lot about the “grind,” which is ironic because when I used to think of “the grind,” I thought of living the rat-race of competition, seeing people practically step all over each other just to get a second ahead.

But “the grind” isn’t about elbowing someone out of our way to get the “6” train downtown, or cutting someone off on the Beltway or the 405 to barrel toward the off-ramp. We should NEVER be concerned with running someone else’s race or living someone else’s life. The grind isn’t about hoarding material rewards or gadgets. The grind is all about maximizing our energy, focus and output to create the life we want.

I ask you to think about what energizes you-- what are the things, people or activities that bring you the greatest motivation. Focus on these. Make sure they're a part of your thoughts and a part of your purpose. Think about your outlets for relieving stress. Find time to have time for these things. Get rid of what's not working and what you find demotivating, and focus on what does motivate you.

What’s got you down? What’s holding you back. Get up! Keep moving forward and find your next journey. Tell me how the view is, once you get to the top.

Please consider sharing this on LinkedIn and with friends and colleagues! Welcome to The Champion Leader Movement! Hit the subscribe button to receive this newsletter each week.

Christopher D. Connors is the author of The Champion Leader: https://amzn.to/4aIeJaw. He is also the creator of top LinkedIn Learning course, Leading with Emotional Intelligence. He's a keynote speaker, executive coach, and globally recognized expert on emotional intelligence. Christopher consults with executives and leaders at Fortune 1000 companies.