How the Urge to be Right Stifles Effective Collaboration
In this brief article, I want to outline how the need to be right can damage trustworthiness and the development of collaboration.?
"If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself." -Henry Ford
We’ve all had the impulse to want to be right in a conversation. We search our minds for an answer that could overtake someone else’s point of view so that we can be the “right” one in the group. Ultimately, who does that serve? That’s right, it serves ourselves, but not the group. Additionally, this type of behavior can alienate others and position us as being petty - looking to win fights that weren’t meant to be fights, but discussions.?
The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humility. We need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It's not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn't matter whether we're right or wrong. What's important is how we handle ourselves in our discussions with others.?
Discussions, by nature, are collaborations. What collaborations consist of is when two or more individuals are working to either solve a problem or expand on a topic. This requires egos to be checked at the door and both individuals to be open to the new ways of thinking that others may present.?
This is where honesty can flourish and sharpen the conversation. What true and sincere honesty can do is weed out biases and ego-driven preferences from the conversation, clarifying the points being exchanged. When we are honest our minds are more open, also. Creativity can flow and everyone can work with a clear set of ideas that the group has batted around.?
Being dishonest in a conversation can also speak to who we are as people. If we are willing to forego honesty in the pursuit of being right, we are likely to be dishonest with ourselves in the way we think. If we are willing to succumb to our biases and fight to be right, we won't be open to understanding the perspectives of others. And, closing ourselves to the perspectives of others limits the opportunities for the group to discover new and fresh ways to conquer challenges and discover innovative solutions.?
Ultimately, we must curb our appetite to be right so space can open up for the group to be more effective. For a clear exchange of ideas, we must get over our impulse to be right at the moment and invest in the ideas and perspectives of others.?
If we strive to lead and collaborate with others, we are charged with seeing past our desire to be correct and move towards a sense of understanding and partnership.?
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