How to be Unemployed

A guide from your local optimist

When all the Coronavirus buzz started, tell you what, I was not that fussed.

Working from home? Great!

An excuse not to leave the house without sounding lazy? Too easy!

KFC still open for drive thru? No worries!

I was blissfully ignorant to all the damage that would ensue.

Reality hit me when at the end of March, I was made redundant from a job that I absolutely loved. I didn’t see it coming in the slightest, and it meant that my income, positivity and daily purpose came to a grinding halt. After many tears, many lovely messages and phone calls from my suddenly ex-colleagues, and an entire bottle of $5 ALDI wine, a wave of productivity came over me. It occurred to me that I could sit here and feel sorry for myself all day, but that wasn’t going to pay my bills. As quickly as I fell off the proverbial horse, I got straight back on. I opened up my resume, tried to make myself sound like an absolute weapon, and got straight into applying for roles.

Nearly a month later (and what feels like the equivalent being on hold to Centrelink), I have never been so happy to pay taxes in my life, as the JobKeeper initiative meant that my role was able to be reinstated. As sad as I had been - and as much as I feel for the people who didn’t have the same luck - I could not be happier to wake up again with a purpose and straight back into the company I was so devastated to be leaving.

In between Netflix, crafting and cooking everything in sight, a month felt like it flew by. Though I feel my primary wisdom is in knowledge of the Kardashians and how to eat as much cheese as possible, I was pretty proud of how I managed to get through each day and bounce back quickly from such upsetting news. I’m here to share my newfound wisdom in how to nail unemployment when cousin Rona is lurking:

Take time for yourself

Yes, applying for jobs and seeking income is important, but you know what, so are you! Unfortunately, we don’t have the luxury of spending as much time with family and friends as we want to, so find things that YOU can do that make YOU happy. What do you enjoy doing? For me, it’s crafting, being productive around the house and cooking. For others, it might be exercising, meditation or bingeing Easter chocolate. Whatever it is, you now have time! Take this opportunity as a chance to focus on the things you love to do and discover new hobbies. I have friends who can barely cook a toastie and are now nurturing sourdough starters. Others have been rediscovering the value of relationships within their own household and are revelling in the time spent with their nearest and dearest. My favourite saying in the world is “you do you” and now is the time to do just that.

Aim low and you’ll never be disappointed

This nugget of wisdom should apply to EVERYTHING while Rona is still around – job prospects, tasks during the day, extravagant cooking endeavours. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be an absolute legend with everything you do, because reality is that it probably won’t all work out.

I never found myself getting too emotionally attached to jobs I applied for and even interviewed for, because after at least five different “sorry, this job is no longer going ahead” emails, I learned that nothing is certain in these times. I also didn’t put too much pressure on myself during the day. I got to the point where taking a shower and putting my eyebrows on was a massive achievement! Getting out of bed before 9am? Unreal! Hanging up the washing and putting away the dishes? Ummm, superwoman alert! That leads me to my next point…

Keep up the productivity

If you’re a fellow dopamine addict, you’ll like this tip. While my dopamine hits usually come from eating McDonalds and watching Married at First Sight, I needed ways to feel productive and accomplished despite the luxury of being able to stay in bed for as long as I wanted (teenage dreams do come true).

Every single day I made a ‘Today’s Top 5’ list of tasks or activities, shared it with my friends in a group chat and everybody would jump on the bandwagon and post theirs. These tasks could be productive (i.e. cleaning the coffee machine, sweeping the courtyard), personal (read for an hour, drink 3 litres of water) or professional (do a short course, exhaust job boards) etc. Suddenly, my dopamine rushes were coming from realistic daily tasks like spending an hour on my puzzle or finally recycling the Coke Zero can that’s been on my coffee table for five days. At the end of the day, I felt that I had still done something with my time, even if they were simple tasks. It’s also satisfying to see things crossed off on a physical to-do list than have them disappear off a digital one – the feeling of accomplishment is much clearer!

Be grateful

Ahh yes, this old chestnut. People harp on about resilience a lot but I would have drowned in sorrow (and red wine) had I not consistently reminded myself of all the things I’m grateful for. Grateful that I’m alive and breathing; grateful that I received so many amazing messages and gestures of support; grateful for the gift of time to pick up projects and habits that I had been ignoring, such as exercise, creativity and cleaning.

Most importantly, I am grateful for my parents who generously offered to financially support me; an insane offer that I knew many others wouldn’t have the same access to. As much as my position sucked, things could always be worse.

There are always things to be grateful for, whatever position you find yourself in. These can be as small as having a good hair day, or as big as having your Centrelink application finally approved. Whenever you feel the sads coming on, name three things on the spot that are good in your life. I guarantee that doing this regularly can help to significantly reframe your mindset to anything.

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone

Now, I know that as someone who had been made redundant in a truly hideous economic climate, I was not one to be picky. I definitely submitted applications for the standard Woolies, Coles, ALDI and Kmart (cheap homewares and $7 slippers are still an essential service yes?), but I couldn’t help but still be picky with any permanent roles I applied for.

The idea of working for a different business was one thing, but I have to say that the friendships I made at work set extremely high standards for colleagues and culture, and how was another business going to top that? It’s been tough to consider working somewhere that didn’t have the same vibe, so I was very careful with what permanent roles I applied for and the companies employing them.

Having experience across a range of different workplaces and industries, I knew exactly what I did and didn’t want, so I made a point to only apply for roles that I actually wanted to do and companies that I actually wanted to work at. If you’re in the position to be picky, be picky, but keep in mind that being picky casts a smaller net, so keep those expectations low and keep the resilience high when you’re on your third hour of being on hold to Centrelink.

Finally, losing your job is not the end of the world

Don’t get me wrong, I ugly-cried for many hours and drank an entire bottle of red wine in bed when I got my redundancy news. My mind raced with what a professional opportunity I’d lost, what I’d do about income, how I’d pay bills, not working a one-minute walk from my favourite pho place – the devastation was real!

But as it sunk in and my proactivity began to outweigh my slump, one of the best things I managed to do was honestly to just laugh about it. Making light of a crappy situation has made the whole thing much easier to digest. Being able to laugh at yourself and your hectic schedule of Netflix and doing puzzles has been a fabulous ice breaker and a gag that I’ve managed to get a lot of mileage out of. Trust me, unemployment gets you a lot of sympathy and if you’ve got a great support network like I do, it might even get you some “sorry you’re unemployed” presents and “don’t worry, I’ll shout Uber Eats tonight” offers.

You’ve also got time to really evaluate what you’re doing and what direction you want to go in. If you make it happen, your days can be filled with things that make you happy and personal development. This time away from work can really be a good thing, and know that it’s not going to last forever.

As Kyle Richards said in her opening tagline of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, “planes and yachts are nice, but my happiness starts at home”. Life will go on regardless of what time you get out of bed in the morning, so get up, get motivated, get inspired and you do you!

Maddie Campbell