How to turn down a job (without burning your bridges)

I’ve felt compelled to write this post of late due the interesting way I’ve seen people manage declining job offers over the years. I've spoken to a few colleagues and Hiring Managers who have often echoed the same frustrations with job declines via text message, plays for more money at the end of the process and even the odd person who has "ghosted" their prospective employer- never to be heard from again.

Anyone with any experience in recruitment whether it be as a Hiring Manager or Recruitment Advisor knows just how frustrating it can be going through the whole process for this to occur. You may have been through first interview, second interview, reference checks and in some cases psychometric testing; to then have the offer declined due to a counter offer or another offer from a different prospective employer.

The frustration often comes with already being invested in that employee by the time the offer is made and realising that going back to the drawing board means the same amount of effort required to attract a suitable candidate. It's also because the challenge is to the then try to find that same “right fit” for the position in the process. They wanted you to join the team for a reason and have probably been through quite a few interviews before making a decision. This is the back end you as a candidate probably haven’t seen.

So if you are the employee declining the job, how do you do so in a way that doesn’t burn bridges? What’s a respectful and forthcoming way to decline a job? As the market heats up often candidates are dealing with multiple offers. However, just because you decline an offer at this stage in your career doesn’t mean you may not change your mind later on down the track and revisit that employer or their initial offer. It happens. How you decline the offer can have a huge influence on your ability to work for that employer at a later stage and to maintain a solid relationship with the hiring team.

1-?????Be appreciative and honest

Recognise the work that went into selecting you as a candidate. People hiring for positions have day jobs as well and have taken the time to interview you, answer your questions and conduct pre-employment checks to ensure that you are a fit for the business. Ensure you thank them for their time and in selecting you for the role and be forthcoming with your gratitude.

2-?????Explain your reasons

Be honest at this point. Was it a better opportunity at this stage in your career? If you are staying has the employer fully rectified your initial reasons for looking (caution with counteroffers- often 6 months down the track the issues can resurface or not be resolved- hence my previous point of being able to return to an offer and not burning bridges). Has something happened personally and now is not the time for you to be making a career change? Share this with an employer, sometimes being in a transition emotionally can make it difficult to take a leap with a new employer or make a career change.

3-?????Don’t play games with money

Walking away for an extra $20K and hoping the employer will counteroffer you is not a great strategy for winning hearts and minds. This doesn’t bode well for most people and Hiring Managers are often just keen to walk away from these candidates at this point. Appreciate you are probably a great negotiator and that’s a great skill to have- but do it in the early stages of the process rather than waiting until the final outcome.

4-?????Don’t do it via text message or email- talk to the person

Now this one is a big one. With text messages and email so often being the mode of communication particularly with mobile savvy generations the need for picking up the phone can often be lost. If you are turning down a job have the courage and respect to pick up the phone directly to your recruitment agent and the person who offered you the job. They’ve represented you and will likely have other jobs and opportunities you may be interested in the future- not to mention valuable connections in the industry. Don’t underestimate the power of integrity in the way you conduct yourself- a text message or email is not a respectful or personable way of responding and comes across as a lazy way of acknowledging a process that took a lot of work for both parties.

Turning down a job doesn’t have to mean the end of the road with a prospective employer. I was talking to a candidate recently who had just finished a contract and had turned down a job the week before because his contract was set to go another 3 months, however the contractor lost the project and he had to finish up earlier than expected. He didn’t realise he could back to that offer and I encouraged him to make the call and let them know he is still available. Don’t assume they have filled the role- it’s quite possible they may still be interested or could have a potential other position you may be suitable for.

The most important part of declining an offer is to ensure you aren’t burning your bridges and that you do so on good terms with the prospective employer or recruitment agency. They will be disappointed in the situation but the way you handle it can ensure they don’t walk away feeling disappointed in YOU.