How to Turn Comparison into Motivation in Your Career

Self-comparison often feels like a trap, especially when you start measuring your progress against the accomplishments of others. Everyone's journey is unique, yet it’s easy to get caught up in thoughts like:

• My friend is already a Senior Analyst at Goldman Sachs, and I’m still figuring out my career path.
• A has finished their masters degree and is starting a PhD, while I’m still in my final year of undergrad.

Life can feel unfair sometimes, but what if we reframed how we see others’ success?

I once came across a post that said: Your greatest motivation in life isn’t the role models you look up to, but your community—the people you have access to. That statement stopped me in my tracks and brought back memories of Ariyo Johnson, a childhood classmate who has remained a symbol of peer motivation for me.

The Story of Ariyo

Ariyo was my very first role model, though she might not have known it. We were five years old, sitting in the small classrooms of Handmaids International Primary School. While I struggled to find my footing in a school of over 80 students divided into multiple classes, Ariyo shone. She wasn’t just smart; she was radiant. She wore her immaculately ironed uniform with a pink and white handkerchief tucked neatly into the pocket, her confidence as crisp as her appearance.

I, on the other hand, ranked near the bottom of the class. I felt invisible most days, sitting alone at break time with no friends, nibbling on snacks, and resting my head on my desk until the bell rang. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to connect with others—I just didn’t know how to.

One day, as I sat in my usual spot during break time, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Ariyo holding out a storybook, The Story of Princesses and the Princes. With a bright smile, she asked, “Hi, Mary-Esther, do you want to read this?”

Her kindness caught me off guard. I’d often watched her reading that book with her friends, wishing I could borrow it too. But I wasn’t confident enough to ask. I could barely read fluently, and at five years old, that felt like a glaring flaw. Before I could stammer a response, she slid onto the bench beside me and said excitedly, “Let’s read together! It’s like Cinderella.”

That moment changed everything for me. Ariyo didn’t just share a story; she shared her time, her enthusiasm, and a piece of her world. From then on, we read together often, and she became a quiet cheerleader for me. She’d tell me about her dad, a secondary school principal, and how he made her and her older siblings read books every day. Inspired, I started paying more attention to my schoolbooks, and my grades improved. By the time I entered Primary 2, I had climbed from being ranked 50th to 11th in a class of 80

Even when we were shuffled into different classes, Ariyo would find time to check on me. She’d stop by to share books or sit beside me on excursions or periodic mass celebrations at the church, Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church. Her kindness and confidence rubbed off on me in ways I couldn’t fully grasp at the time. When my family moved in Primary 5 and I switched schools, I carried her influence with me. That year, I earned first place in my new class. The first person I thought of was Ariyo.

When I wrote my first book at age 12, Tears of Widowhood, Ariyo was still on my mind. Her small gesture of kindness created a ripple effect that shaped my confidence and growth till today.

The Value of Peer Community

Ariyo taught me that peers can have an incredible impact on our lives—not as competitors, but as motivators. Yet so often, we fall into the trap of envy or self-doubt when we see peers achieving milestones we haven’t yet reached.

What if, instead of seeing them as competition, we saw them as proof that our goals are achievable?

It’s natural to have moments of self-doubt when you see others excelling. Questions like, “Why am I not there yet?” or “What am I doing wrong?” may arise. However, these thoughts only hold power if you let them. What if, instead of letting comparison diminish your confidence, you used it to reframe your perspective?

When someone in your peer circle achieves something remarkable, let it remind you of what’s possible. They’re not some distant, untouchable celebrity; they’re someone like you—in your age group, your industry, or your community. Their success shows that the door isn’t locked. If they can do it, why not you?

Peer success isn’t a sign of your inadequacy. It’s evidence that success is attainable.

How Peer Motivation Can Drive Growth

Here’s how your peer community can help you growin your career:

1. Peers Show You What’s Possible

When someone in your peer group achieves a milestone—whether it’s landing a dream job, launching a successful business, or mastering a skill—they become living proof that your goals are attainable. Their success isn’t a reminder of where you’re lacking; it’s evidence of what’s possible. Instead of asking, “Why am I not there yet?” shift your mindset to, “If they can do it, so can I.” Let their achievements fuel your ambition and inspire you to take meaningful steps toward your own goals.

2. Peers Provide Insight and Resources

Your peers are a wellspring of knowledge, insights, and opportunities. They might share tips on navigating challenges, recommend tools, or even connect you to people who can help you advance. Ask your peers about their processes. What steps did they take to get where they are? Leverage your network not just for advice, but for collaboration and shared growth.

3. Peers Hold You Accountable

Being part of a motivated peer group creates a sense of accountability. When you see your peers pushing toward their goals, it encourages you to stay focused on your own journey. Share your goals with trusted peers who can check in on your progress and engage in friendly challenges to keep each other motivated.

4. Peers Offer Emotional Support

Your peers understand your struggles because they’re often navigating similar challenges. A quick pep talk or even a shared laugh can be the emotional boost you need during tough times. Don’t be afraid to open up to your peers about your challenges and don't forget to celebrate each other’s wins and commiserate over setbacks—it builds a stronger sense of community.

5. Peers Help You Build Perspective

The journeys of your peers can teach you that everyone’s path looks different. Success isn’t linear, and setbacks are often a part of growth. Focus on learning from their experiences instead of envying their results. Use their stories to broaden your understanding of what success can look like.

Peer motivation is one of the most underrated drivers of success. It reminds me of The Pursuit of Happyness. In the movie, Chris Gardner, played by Will Smith, finds himself inspired by the success of those around him, even in the midst of his struggles. One pivotal moment is when he sees a man stepping out of a luxurious car and asks, “What do you do, and how do you do it?” Instead of feeling defeated, Chris uses that moment as motivation to pursue a better life for himself and his son. Like Chris, we can draw inspiration from the achievements of those around us, using their success as fuel for our own growth. By embracing the accomplishments of our peers and leaning into the support of our community, we, too, can unlock new levels of growth and fulfillment.

So, the next time you see someone in your circle achieve something remarkable, don’t let it make you feel small. Let it serve as a powerful reminder that you’re part of a community of dreamers and doers, and your moment is on its way.

As always, I will see you next week,

Your Career Cheerleader,

Mary-Esther Anele