How truthful are you being?

Something to ask yourself every day in all of your relationships is "How truthful am I really being right now with my partner / my kids / my parents / my siblings / my co-workers / my friends / anyone else in my life?

?? Do you keep cotton-wooling your communications or are you getting closer to your truth every time you speak to them?

?? Are you still sugar-coating your words or are you finding the courage to be more clear and direct in your delivery?

?? Are you even being honest with yourself about how much you've been biting your tongue or suppressing your truth when you're around them?

People always think that communicating your truth has to be a negative conversation. In my experience though, most people also want to say the great stuff, they just think it's silly or the other person will think it's cheesy or they'll laugh or think "they should already know". They don't know, they never do and they'd love to hear all of it, if you're willing to share it. People also want to know what's wrong and why you're irritated or reactive or giving them the silent treatment, so give them that honesty as well. Don't leave them hanging.

Exercise:

1. List all of the important relationships in your life.

2. For each person on your list, write down all of the things you wish you could say to them if you weren't so afraid:

• All of the things that don't work for you about your relationship and all of the things that do.
• All of the ways you wish they'd change and all of the ways you wish they wouldn't.
• All of the things you don't like about their behaviours and all of the things you do.

3. Find a time to connect with that person and tell them everything.

People want to be seen and heard and understood. So do you. In any relationship, you have to teach people how to treat you. But how can they learn if you're not saying anything? How will they know what you want more of or less of? How will they know if they're accessing you and connecting with you in a way that's meaningful and a way that lands? How will they know the best way to speak to you and handle disagreements with you? How will they know?

Well, you have to start being honest with them.

Communicating your truth is asking these important people in your life to see you and hear you and understand where you're coming from. And it's also showing them how much this relationship means to you that you're wanting to have this real conversation in the first place. Acknowledging them for the great stuff as well as discussing the things that aren't working is a necessary balance which will make all the difference in being heard. The truth will always, always set you free.

Be afraid and do it anyway!

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To learn more about how to have difficult conversations, get my book - ‘That’s Not What I Meant!’?The smart, savvy guide to real communication'?which is available from all?major bookstores?and?eTailers?in South Africa and the?kindle version?is available on Amazon.