How to Truly Take Care of Yourself: The Power of Fun and the Child Ego State

We often hear phrases like, "Take care of yourself," especially when life gets tough. But what does it really mean? How do you actually do it? One powerful way to take care of your mental and emotional well-being is to tap into your Child Ego State. This isn’t about being childish but rather embracing a mindset of curiosity, play, and fun—the things we often leave behind as we grow older.

What is the Child Ego State?

The concept of the Child Ego State comes from Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis (TA), a theory developed in the 1950s. According to Berne, each of us operates in one of three distinct ego states at any given moment: Parent, Adult, or Child. The Parent Ego State represents the voice of authority, filled with rules and guidelines. The Adult Ego State is rational, logical, and calculated. Finally, the Child Ego State is where our creativity, spontaneity, and joy come alive.

As we mature, the Parent and Adult states tend to dominate, while the Child Ego State gets pushed aside. Society tells us that it’s time to “grow up” and focus on being responsible, logical, and serious. While there’s certainly value in that, ignoring our Child Ego State can rob us of some of the best aspects of life—namely, having fun and enjoying the moment.

The Importance of Play in Adulthood

Think back to when you were a child. What brought you joy? Whether it was running around with friends, building sandcastles, or getting lost in a storybook, your world was full of discovery, wonder, and excitement. As adults, we often put aside those activities and feelings, thinking they're no longer relevant in our “grown-up” lives. But that’s not true.

In fact, Positive Psychology—a branch of psychology that focuses on what makes life worth living—has shown that engaging in activities that bring us joy and excitement is essential for our mental health and overall well-being. One of the key recommendations for achieving a healthy mental state is finding things you love to do, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they may seem.

Why Fun is Essential for Mental Health

Fun isn’t just for children. In fact, adults who engage in playful activities—whether it's knitting, sports, gaming, woodworking, or building models—experience numerous mental health benefits. When we’re having fun, we enter a state of flow, where we lose track of time and become completely absorbed in what we’re doing. This flow state has been shown to reduce stress, enhance creativity, and boost overall happiness.

Take hobbies like knitting, crocheting, or model-making, for example. These analog activities allow us to engage our hands and minds in creating something tangible. There’s a sense of satisfaction in watching your project come to life, stitch by stitch or piece by piece. The repetitive, focused nature of these hobbies also has a calming effect on the mind, much like meditation.

Or think about playing sports or exercising. The physical activity releases endorphins, those "feel-good" hormones that help reduce stress and anxiety. But beyond the physical benefits, there’s something childlike in the play itself—whether it's the friendly competition of touch rugby or the simple joy of running or cycling. It reminds us of the freedom we felt as kids, playing tag or racing each other on the playground.

The Adult Version of Fun

As adults, our idea of fun may look a bit different from that of a child, but it’s no less important. While children may find joy in simple games or pretend play, adults can derive the same sense of fulfillment from more complex or skill-based activities. Whether it's mastering a challenging video game, working on a woodworking project, or experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, fun for adults often involves a blend of challenge and creativity.

The key difference is that, as adults, we sometimes have to deliberately choose to have fun. Life’s responsibilities—jobs, bills, families—often make it difficult to prioritize activities that seem “unproductive.” But here’s where the Child Ego State comes into play. By consciously tapping into this mindset, you give yourself permission to set aside the pressures of adulthood and simply enjoy the process of doing something you love.

Deliberate Ego State Selection for Well-Being

Choosing the Child Ego State doesn’t mean abandoning responsibility or acting immaturely. Rather, it’s about recognizing that fun, play, and curiosity are vital to our well-being. When you approach life with a childlike sense of wonder, you become more open to new experiences, more resilient in the face of challenges, and more creative in solving problems.

Think of it like this: You’re not just taking a break from your “Adult” duties. You’re recharging your mind and body by engaging in activities that bring joy. The creativity and energy you tap into during these moments of play can carry over into your work, your relationships, and your personal growth.

Practical Tips for Reclaiming Your Child Ego State

So how can you deliberately activate your Child Ego State? Here are a few practical ways to do it:

1. Rediscover an Old Hobby: Think back to something you loved doing as a child or teenager. Did you enjoy drawing, building models, or playing sports? Give it another go, even if it feels a little rusty at first. The point is to reconnect with something that brought you joy.
2. Try Something New: Curiosity is a hallmark of the Child Ego State. Sign up for a class, try a new sport, or take up a creative hobby like painting, photography, or even cooking. The goal is to engage in something that excites you and sparks your interest.
3. Play Without Purpose: Not every activity needs to be productive. Set aside time for activities that are purely for fun—whether it’s playing a video game, doing a puzzle, or simply going for a walk in nature without any specific destination in mind.
4. Embrace Imperfection: When we play, we’re not aiming for perfection. We’re just enjoying the process. Allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh at yourself, and have fun without worrying about outcomes.
5. Schedule Fun: In the hustle and bustle of adult life, fun often gets pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. Make a conscious effort to schedule time for play, whether it’s a weekly game night with friends or a solo project that excites you.

Conclusion: Fun is Not a Luxury—It’s a Necessity

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. It’s also about nurturing your inner child and allowing yourself to have fun. By tapping into the Child Ego State, you can bring more creativity, joy, and resilience into your life. So, the next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, give yourself permission to play. You might be surprised by just how powerful it can be.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to build another model spaceship. ??

#PositivePsychology #MentalHealth #PlayfulMindset #WellBeing #CreativeLiving