How to Transform Your Self Talk
The belief that we control how we experience our life has been the prevailing theme our guests have addressed on the podcast this year. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can choose how we view and respond to it, which ultimately shapes our life experience.
It’s a powerful insight when you pause to think about it, and one that our guest today, Beekeeper’s Naturals Founder Carly Stein, encapsulated beautifully when she said: “Everything we do is a story we tell ourselves. You have the opportunity to make it a positive story or a negative one. You control the narrative. You are the author of your own book.”
What I appreciate most about Carly’s approach is her emphasis on self-talk as the foundation of cultivating a strong mindset. “Becoming the person you want to be stems from how you see yourself, how you talk to yourself, and how you treat yourself,” she added. “Being kind to yourself is where your ability to enjoy your life begins.”
Through honestly sharing how she learned to improve her self-talk, Carly demonstrated numerous ways we can transform our own to better serve our wellbeing and success. Here are a few tips to get started. You can hear more of Carly’s inspiring story in our conversation.
Celebrate your unique power
Prior to our chat, I was intrigued by the way Carly approaches meditation: As a catch-up date with yourself where you ask, What is it like to be me today?
I thought the question was a valuable way to check-in with yourself, but Carly quickly revealed that it's much deeper and multi-faceted. Here’s a brief excerpt of what she shared…
“We spend so much time thinking: What would it be like if I was different…If I looked a certain way, had a different job or more money?
Instead, wake up and ask yourself: What is it like to be me today?
Celebrate the fact that you are a unique being. There is no one else like you. That’s your power.
Focus on the things you have to offer to the world rather than looking at what other people have and feeling competitive. Call that behavior out and don’t let yourself go there. Wondering what life would be like if you were different is irrelevant because, the truth is, it wouldn’t be that different. Everything in life is about your attitude towards the things that come your way.”
I love the duality of the spiritual dimension and the practicality of Carly’s advice. When you notice your mind wandering into a state of comparison or wishing without action, acknowledge the thought pattern and replace it by reflecting on her insight.
Be your own source of truth
Carly started her career working in hedge funds and then as an analyst at Goldman Sachs; As a recent graduate, a position on the trading floor garnered praise the moment she shared it.
A few years later, when she decided to turn her bee-keeping side hustle into a company, that same praise turned into confusion. She even had a former boss visibly depict that contrast on a whiteboard; A graph of what her life would look like staying at Goldman Sachs (an upward growth curve) versus starting a wellness company, which he deemed would fail. That experience turned out to be a pivotal moment for Carly, not solely in fueling her to launch Beekeeper’s Naturals but perhaps more importantly, in her decision that from that moment on, she was going to live her life on her own terms.
“Our egos crave external feedback. We have to get comfortable knowing we are good enough internally,” she shares. “Putting yourself in a position where you’re forced to look inside yourself and give yourself the affirmation you need helps you cultivate the confidence and strength you need to do what you want to do.”
Carly’s journey reflects the path we all embark on to discover our own truth and values and then summon the courage to create a life that supports them. “You’re always going to face fear and challenges,” she says. “You have to learn how to be a source of light and positivity. Resilience is about knowing how to inspire and draw on yourself for everything you need.”
Be present in the midst of challenges
Carly’s team curates an inspiring collection of quotes on their Instagram, two of which I was particularly excited to hear her take on…
“Sometimes when you think you’ve been buried you’ve actually been planted.”
And, “One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.”
As Carly shared, everything we experience is a story we tell ourselves. It’s easy for that story to become overwhelmingly negative when we’re facing challenges which is why her insight — “Don’t get so stuck in your story that you miss the lesson” — is so poignant.
“Labeling yourself and situations makes everything hard. You don’t need to carry that with you,” she says. “When you choose to believe that a challenge is the seed of an opportunity to grow you become eager to face it. You know that enduring it is going to make you smarter and stronger. Things that may have hurt you in the past can’t hurt you now because you'll have weathered the storm. You know how it feels and how to get past it...Everyone has the capability to do these things. It just depends on how much work you’re willing to put in, not just in the practical sense but internally too.”