Transformation is not a temporary change.??Alteration of behavior is frequently just externally imposed. ?
- Losing weight for a special event.?
- Buckling down to complete a project.?
- Pretending to be someone you’re not to get a date.?
But, when the challenge is removed, the behavior returns. ?
?Cars mysteriously slow when someone else is being pulled over on the side of the road by a patrol car. Why? Logically, it is the best time to speed when someone else is occupying the officer's attention. But we slow down from the reminder of a consequence, not because we convert from the activity of speeding.?
?Likewise, in your life, you have had many instances of change due to the imposition of an external force - parents, teachers, bosses, pastors, spouses, etc. But how often have those temporary alterations of behavior resulted in genuine transformation? ?
Most of us have?an internal voice that acts like a demanding teacher. It rails, trying to keep us on track - but only for a time and never from the heart.?
- Replace lesser desires with more powerful ones.?For example, I want to eat cake and I want to lose weight. These two desires conflict. Which one wins? The stronger one. If the momentary winner is not the outcome?I truly want, I feel defeated. Success is not obtained by shaming myself or ignoring the desire, the solution lies in supplanting that desire with a greater one that aligns with my real goal. If I want to lose weight, then I've got to cultivate a desire greater than my craving for carbs. That desire needs to align in a deep way or else it will collapse in front of a donut shop. Perhaps "losing weight" is too puny a desire, but the image of a laughing future me playing catch with a grandchild or crossing a marathon finish line will be stronger than?the desire for instant gratification.?
- Refine a plan.?"Projects of personal transformation rarely succeed?by accident, drift, or imposition.” (Dallas Willard)?No one drifts their way into transformation. A destination is defined, and a pathway is charted to achieve a goal. Plans are as unique as you are. Don't fall into the trap of just imitating another's flight path. Seeing how others carry out their goals is instructive, but it is not a straight-jacket. Talk to or follow people who have done what you want to do. LinkedIn is uniquely powerful for this. Simply search for your goal and connect to the folks talking about that vision. Learn from them (for free), test out your own ideas, get clarity and then iterate a plan based on that learning. Come back to it regularly to review and refine.?
- Celebrate progress.?You are not a robot; you need to stop periodically and celebrate your achievements. It sounds humble to keep marching, but it's a form of backward pride. When you stop to see the advance, you are humbled by the growth, by the people who helped you along the way, by what you've learned. Celebrating (and receiving kudos) is the best thing you can do to keep motivation for the long haul that significant goals take. To be great at anything means that you will be terrible at it for a long time :) Celebrating the milestones helps you to see the journey as a joy and not a burden.?
To change deeply - cultivate powerful desires, refine a plan and celebrate progress.?
My podcast on how nonprofits can use AI launched yesterday. Check it out on our home page at https://www.aiforgoodpodcast.com/ or anywhere you like to listen by searching for “AI for Good.” ?
Here is the link to the show on Apple:
Realtor Associate @ Next Trend Realty LLC | HAR REALTOR, IRS Tax Preparer
1 年Well said.