How to Transform Feedback into a Thoughtful Gift

Feedback is like a present. ?? A gift meant to inspire growth, reflection, and improvement. However, just as a poorly chosen or thoughtless given gift can disappoint, feedback that isn’t delivered effectively can miss its mark. This can lead to misunderstanding, resentment, and even a decline in performance or confidence.

So, how do you get it right? Walk through the art of giving feedback as one would give a present and check if you can answer all the questions with a "Yes." If not take the opportunity to refine your approach. By doing so, you'll discover practical strategies to ensure your feedback is as impactful and beneficial as possible!

Before Opening The Gift …

It starts with the thought behind it. The best presents are given with thought and care. Similarly, feedback should be delivered with the intention of helping the other person grow. You don’t buy a present to please yourself, you give it to make someone else happy and shine.

? Ensure your feedback is well-considered and genuinely aimed at helping the person improve.

? Ask yourself: “Have I thought about how this feedback will help the person grow?”?

The anticipation of unwrapping the present can evoke a range of emotions for the recipient, from excitement to anxiety. Just like a present, feedback carries an element of surprise. Will it be something delightful or something challenging to deal with? The best time to give a present is when the person is ready to find out what’s inside.?

? Consider the person’s current state, situation, and feelings when giving feedback, whether it’s positive or constructive.

? Ask yourself: “Is it the right moment for the person to receive my feedback?”

Some presents are best given in a more private, intimate setting, especially if they might evoke emotions. Think of a deeply personal item, or a heartfelt letter. You don’t want to give that in a big group as it can make someone feel uncomfortable. These kinds of gifts require a safe, quiet space. Similarly, if the feedback is particularly sensitive or personal, consider delivering it in an one-on-one setting. This ensures that the recipient feels respected and valued.?

? Choose an appropriate setting for delivering sensitive feedback, ensuring a comfortable environment.

? Ask yourself: “Is it this the right environment for the person to receive my feedback?”

The wrapping can enhance the excitement and reception of the gift inside. In the context of feedback, the wrapping is the delivery. A beautifully wrapped present shows care and consideration, just as well-delivered feedback demonstrates respect and support. Positive, constructive, and empathic communication can make even challenging feedback easier to receive and act upon.

? Deliver feedback in a positive and respectful manner, using “I” statements and focusing on specific behaviors rather than personal attributes.

? Ask yourself: “Am I presenting this feedback in a way that is constructive and kind?”

When Opening The Gift …

The true value of feedback lies in its content. Just like the present inside the wrapping, the substance of the feedback is what ultimately matters. The worst gifts are generic and impersonal, laying in a cupboard for “future use” or even something that will never serve in someone’s life, while the best ones are tailored, immediately useful, and relevant to the recipient’s current activities.

? Provide specific, actionable, and relevant feedback with clear insights, and guidance that the recipient can use to make improvements.

?Ask yourself: “Can the person take concrete steps right now to improve based on this feedback?”

Reactions to the present can vary widely. Joy, surprise, and sometimes disappointment are all possible. If someone doesn’t like your feedback, it’s more helpful to understand their reaction than to ignore or fight it. Just like a gift, where you would explain the thought and care behind it, if the reaction isn’t as expected, show your intention to support and help them grow. If they are surprised, explain further with examples. If they are defensive, open a discussion on how you can work on it together.

? Be prepared for a range of reactions, respond with empathy, and allow the person to express their feelings and ask questions.

? Ask yourself: “Am I ready to listen to the person’s response and engage in a constructive dialogue?”

After Opening The Gift …

Good feedback can have lasting value. Sometimes, you receive a gift that is useful for a bit, and then there are those that have lasting value and keep on giving. Good feedback, even if challenging to hear initially, can lead to significant personal and professional growth over time.

? Focus on long-term development rather than immediate perfection.

?Ask yourself: “Is this feedback contributing to the person’s long-term growth?”

Following up on the feedback is crucial to ensure it’s effective and valuable. Like when giving a present, you want to know if the person is experiencing great value from it. A thoughtful gift often warrants a follow-up to see how much it is appreciated and used. Schedule a follow-up conversation to discuss their progress and offer additional support if needed.

? Offer ongoing support to help the recipient implement the feedback effectively.

? Ask yourself: “Will I follow up to support the recipient’s continued development?”

Frequent, thoughtful feedback strengthens relationships. Giving little presents every now and then, whether it’s just a coffee or a nice bouquet of flowers, shows you think about the other person and want to make them happy. A healthy exchange of feedback fosters trust and collaboration. Done right, feedback is a way of saying, "I care about your development and success," which can deepen mutual respect and connection.

? Be consistent with feedback and use it as an opportunity to build trust and strengthen your relationship by showing that you care about their success.

? Ask yourself: “Am I using this feedback to build a stronger, more trusting relationship?”

Bottom-line …

Presents are great, but think thoroughly about what you give, what you put in the present, and how you wrap it. That’s how you help others grow!