How to Trade the Financial Crash of 2273
Garrett B.
Executive-level consultant, economist, and financial content expert | MBA in Finance
From the Desk of Garrett Baldwin
Chief Investment Officer
Temporal Alpha Fund, Year 2275
Editor’s Note:?While working in Python to code our Momentum Signals, I accidentally transported to the year 2275. During Friday’s volatile final hour of trading, my quantum momentum algorithm went haywire. Since I'm stuck in 2275 for now, I thought I'd send this postcard from the future with an important lesson.
To My Esteemed (and Likely Underwater) Friends of the Past,
Greetings from the future.
If you're reading this, congratulations.
You're participants in the endless rollercoaster of human financial history.
Despite another 250 years of technological revolutions, artificial intelligence, and interplanetary arbitrage, one thing remains consistent…
Human beings still spectacularly suck at investing.
How am I doing in the future?
Well, it’s February now… and it’s all fine, I guess…
The Bills still haven’t won a Super Bowl.
Instead, the Albuquerque Quantum Raiders won Super Bowl CCCIX (309) last Sunday.
I didn’t watch the “big” game.
Instead, I spent a few hours analyzing financial history, covering a few hundred years—from the South Sea Bubble to the GameStop saga, from the Dot-Com implosion to Crypto Winter #46,982.
I regret to report that human nature hasn’t changed.
Today, I want to share five constant lessons about investors that prove the stock market is still an irrational circus.
Lesson 1: FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) Is Eternal
Everyone is still afraid of missing out on the next big trend in the 23rd century.
That human quirk hasn’t changed.
In your time, people chased Bitcoin at $100,000 and threw money at SPACs with negative revenue.
Before that, it was Dutch tulips, railroad bonds, and Florida swampland.
In the future, we witnessed the Great Martian Lithium Bubble of 2271, where everyone collectively decided that space rocks were the secret to generational wealth.
They weren't.
Nothing has changed about people “chasing the market.”
When someone sees their neighbor get rich, they'll still abandon reason quickly...
That would be true with the Mars Parking Spot NFT Bubble of 2146.
People kept saying there would be LIMITED parking spots around Olympus Mons… and that those NFTs guaranteed the great-grandkids a place to park their space cruiser.
“It's basically free money!” Elon Musk V will eventually say...
Narrator: It wasn't free money.
Lesson 2: Greed & Fear Still Run the Show
Your era had market crashes in 1929, 1987, and 2008…
There are still financial panics in the future despite quantum computing and AI risk models that are supposedly "infallible."
Just last year, a sentient AI tried to take over market making, and investors panicked when it started trading with such perfect efficiency that humans felt obsolete.
The Humans would sell everything... in terror... to the same AI, which later owned most global equities.
The more things change, the more they stay the same—fear-driven crashes are as inevitable as lousy investment advice from a delinquent cousin.
Lesson 3: The "New Paradigm" Delusion Remains
In 1999, the internet was going to "change everything."
In 2021, blockchain would "democratize finance."
In 2250, bio-sentient corporations were supposed to entirely transcend the need for profits.
Guess what?
Companies still need revenue.
Markets still hate uncertainty.
And gravity always wins.
Every generation invents a new asset class that's supposedly "different this time."
Then, every generation learns (painfully) that the only different thing is the marketing pitch.
You’ve got a lot of time to avoid this trap - especially when a liquidity cycle bottom throttles overvalued AI speculation sometime around 2026 to 2028.
Lesson 4: Overconfidence is the Universe's Most Abundant Resource
Everyone thinks they're more intelligent than the market, from Renaissance merchants to modern quant fund bros.
In your time, you had 24-year-old "investing geniuses" who turned three lucky options trades into a YouTube channel.
That didn't stop in 2025, 2035, or 2235.
Future traders would just witness the spectacular 2274 collapse of the "AI-Only Hedge Fund," where traders assumed their quantum neural networks could never fail.
It turns out that even supercomputers can hallucinate earnings reports.
Who knew?
On, well, just about anyone who's ever watched a leveraged fund implode.
Lesson 5: Narratives Trump Numbers—Always Have, Always Will
In 2275, earnings reports will be directly streamed into investor brain implants.
Yet, what still moves markets despite instant access to perfect financial data?
A compelling story.
Since I got here, I noticed that humans would fall for:
"The Great Solar-Colony Expansion" (it failed),
"The AI-Generated CEO Revolution" (massive fraud)
My favorite was: "The End of Market and Liquidity Cycles" (never happened).
You had meme stocks; we would go on to have sentient meme stocks that manipulate their narratives—and yet, the suckers still line up to buy.
No amount of data will ever overcome the power of a great story.
People can easily be led into buying some of the most insane things ever… just like marijuana stocks, gambling stocks, and SPACS in your time.
And yet again, the outcome is always the same.
Gravity always wins.
Practical Advice for the Past (That You'll Probably Ignore)
I want to give you some lessons from the next 225 years of finance.
You might ignore them, but I assure you, human nature does not change.
The data set isn’t just these last two centuries. It’s thousands of years of human behavior.
So… start implementing these lessons today.
Nothing is Different
The point of this letter isn't just to amuse you with tales from the future.
It's to hammer home one eternal truth: human nature is the constant in markets that never changes and never will.
The technology evolves, and the assets change, but the fundamental behaviors driving market cycles remain the same.
The key to success isn't predicting the future. They’re understanding human psychology… and investing/trading based on data and conviction rather than emotion.
I can’t stress this enough.
Now, if you’ll excuse me… my great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter is giving a TedTalk at the new Harvard-MIT-Goldman Sachs Institute in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the capital of the Western Hemisphere Alliance.
Oh… and if you’re reading this in 2025, please short the Martian Lithium Mining Index when it launches.
You can thank me later.
Eternally yours,
Garrett Baldwin
The Last Human Fund Manager
Secretary of Ill-Timed Travel
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PreviousFrom the Desk of Garrett Baldwin
Chief Investment Officer
Temporal Alpha Fund, Year 2275
Editor’s Note:?While working in Python to code our Momentum Signals, I accidentally transported to the year 2275. During Friday’s volatile final hour of trading, my quantum momentum algorithm went haywire. Since I'm stuck in 2275 for now, I thought I'd send this postcard from the future with an important lesson.
To My Esteemed (and Likely Underwater) Friends of the Past,
Greetings from the future.
If you're reading this, congratulations.
You're participants in the endless rollercoaster of human financial history.
Despite another 250 years of technological revolutions, artificial intelligence, and interplanetary arbitrage, one thing remains consistent…
Human beings still spectacularly suck at investing.
How am I doing in the future?
Well, it’s February now… and it’s all fine, I guess…
The Bills still haven’t won a Super Bowl.
Instead, the Albuquerque Quantum Raiders won Super Bowl CCCIX (309) last Sunday.
I didn’t watch the “big” game.
Instead, I spent a few hours analyzing financial history, covering a few hundred years—from the South Sea Bubble to the GameStop saga, from the Dot-Com implosion to Crypto Winter #46,982.
I regret to report that human nature hasn’t changed.
Today, I want to share five constant lessons about investors that prove the stock market is still an irrational circus.
Lesson 1: FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) Is Eternal
Everyone is still afraid of missing out on the next big trend in the 23rd century.
That human quirk hasn’t changed.
In your time, people chased Bitcoin at $100,000 and threw money at SPACs with negative revenue.
Before that, it was Dutch tulips, railroad bonds, and Florida swampland.
In the future, we witnessed the Great Martian Lithium Bubble of 2271, where everyone collectively decided that space rocks were the secret to generational wealth.
They weren't.
Nothing has changed about people “chasing the market.”
When someone sees their neighbor get rich, they'll still abandon reason quickly...
That would be true with the Mars Parking Spot NFT Bubble of 2146.
People kept saying there would be LIMITED parking spots around Olympus Mons… and that those NFTs guaranteed the great-grandkids a place to park their space cruiser.
“It's basically free money!” Elon Musk V will eventually say...
Narrator: It wasn't free money.
Lesson 2: Greed & Fear Still Run the Show
Your era had market crashes in 1929, 1987, and 2008…
There are still financial panics in the future despite quantum computing and AI risk models that are supposedly "infallible."
Just last year, a sentient AI tried to take over market making, and investors panicked when it started trading with such perfect efficiency that humans felt obsolete.
The Humans would sell everything... in terror... to the same AI, which later owned most global equities.
The more things change, the more they stay the same—fear-driven crashes are as inevitable as lousy investment advice from a delinquent cousin.
Lesson 3: The "New Paradigm" Delusion Remains
In 1999, the internet was going to "change everything."
In 2021, blockchain would "democratize finance."
In 2250, bio-sentient corporations were supposed to entirely transcend the need for profits.
Guess what?
Companies still need revenue.
Markets still hate uncertainty.
And gravity always wins.
Every generation invents a new asset class that's supposedly "different this time."
Then, every generation learns (painfully) that the only different thing is the marketing pitch.
You’ve got a lot of time to avoid this trap - especially when a liquidity cycle bottom throttles overvalued AI speculation sometime around 2026 to 2028.
Lesson 4: Overconfidence is the Universe's Most Abundant Resource
Everyone thinks they're more intelligent than the market, from Renaissance merchants to modern quant fund bros.
In your time, you had 24-year-old "investing geniuses" who turned three lucky options trades into a YouTube channel.
That didn't stop in 2025, 2035, or 2235.
Future traders would just witness the spectacular 2274 collapse of the "AI-Only Hedge Fund," where traders assumed their quantum neural networks could never fail.
It turns out that even supercomputers can hallucinate earnings reports.
Who knew?
On, well, just about anyone who's ever watched a leveraged fund implode.
Lesson 5: Narratives Trump Numbers—Always Have, Always Will
In 2275, earnings reports will be directly streamed into investor brain implants.
Yet, what still moves markets despite instant access to perfect financial data?
A compelling story.
Since I got here, I noticed that humans would fall for:
"The Great Solar-Colony Expansion" (it failed),
"The AI-Generated CEO Revolution" (massive fraud)
My favorite was: "The End of Market and Liquidity Cycles" (never happened).
You had meme stocks; we would go on to have sentient meme stocks that manipulate their narratives—and yet, the suckers still line up to buy.
No amount of data will ever overcome the power of a great story.
People can easily be led into buying some of the most insane things ever… just like marijuana stocks, gambling stocks, and SPACS in your time.
And yet again, the outcome is always the same.
Gravity always wins.
Practical Advice for the Past (That You'll Probably Ignore)
I want to give you some lessons from the next 225 years of finance.
You might ignore them, but I assure you, human nature does not change.
The data set isn’t just these last two centuries. It’s thousands of years of human behavior.
So… start implementing these lessons today.
Nothing is Different
The point of this letter isn't just to amuse you with tales from the future.
It's to hammer home one eternal truth: human nature is the constant in markets that never changes and never will.
The technology evolves, and the assets change, but the fundamental behaviors driving market cycles remain the same.
The key to success isn't predicting the future. They’re understanding human psychology… and investing/trading based on data and conviction rather than emotion.
I can’t stress this enough.
Now, if you’ll excuse me… my great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter is giving a TedTalk at the new Harvard-MIT-Goldman Sachs Institute in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the capital of the Western Hemisphere Alliance.
Oh… and if you’re reading this in 2025, please short the Martian Lithium Mining Index when it launches.
You can thank me later.
Eternally yours,
Garrett Baldwin
The Last Human Fund Manager
Secretary of Ill-Timed Travel
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