How Are Those Resolutions Going?

Transformation is not just a temporary change.?Sure, short term change can be?externally imposed. But when the imposition is removed, the behavior returns. Cars mysteriously slow when someone else is being pulled over on the side of the road by a patrol car. Why? Logically, it is the best time to speed when someone else is occupying the officer's attention. But we slow down due to a reminder of consequences, not because we had a conversion from the activity of speeding.?

In your life, you have had many instances of change due to the imposition of an external force - parents, teachers, bosses, pastors, spouses, etc. How often have those temporary alterations of behavior resulted in genuine transformation? ?

Look, it’s the end of April and my guess is that 90% of your New Year’s resolutions are now just as forgotten as those clothes hanging on the stationary bike in your bedroom. Why? Because those resolutions were merely efforts to force change rather than rooted in a genuine desire for transformation.?

How then do you make change real??

1. Replace lesser desires with more powerful ones.?For example, I want to eat cake and I want to lose weight. These two desires conflict. So, which one wins? The stronger one. If the winner is not the one I want, success is not obtained by shaming myself or ignoring the desire, the solution lies in supplanting that desire with a greater one that aligns with my real goal. If I want to lose weight, then I've got to cultivate a desire greater than my craving for cake. That desire needs to align with my true self in a deep way or else it will collapse in front of a donut shop. Perhaps "losing weight" is too puny a desire, but the image of a healthy me playing catch with my kids, or me crossing a marathon finish line will be strong enough to counter the desire for instant gratification.?
2. Refine your plan. Dallas Willard says, “Projects of personal transformation rarely succeed?by accident, drift, or imposition.” No one drifts their way into transformation. A destination is defined, and a pathway is charted to achieve a goal. Plans are as unique as you are. Do not fall into the trap of just imitating another's path. Seeing how others accomplish is instructive, but it is not a strait jacket. Talk to or online stalk people who have done what you want to do. LinkedIn is uniquely powerful for this. Simply search your goal and follow the folks talking about that goal. Learn from them (for free), test out your own ideas, get clarity and then iterate a plan based on that learning. Come back to it regularly to review and refine.?
3. Celebrate progress.?You are not a robot; you need to stop periodically and celebrate your achievements. It sounds humble to keep plodding along, but it is not a successful strategy. When you stop to see the advance, you are humbled by the growth, by the people who helped you along the way, by what you've learned. Celebrating (and receiving kudos) is the best thing you can do to keep motivation for the long haul that significant goals take. To be great at anything means that you will be bad at it for a long time :) Celebrating the milestones helps you to see the journey as a joy and not a burden.?

Summary:?

To change deeply - cultivate powerful desires, refine a plan, and celebrate progress.?