? How Tara Increased Her Confidence and Let Go of Striving: Executive Leadership Coaching in Action

Have you ever wanted to change your life so badly that it’s all you think about?

You can almost taste the satisfaction of landing that career-defining role. You can almost see yourself leading that team with vision.? And you can feel in your body the surge of confidence that comes with communicating powerfully.

As an executive leader, your ‘wanting’ for that something better can feel so strong, and the route there so opaque, that control to make it happen can feel impossible. ?

Yes, I'm ready!

The Universal Pull Toward Self-leadership

The desire for something better is universal. We all know it, whether it comes from within ourselves or from external social pressures. The desire to improve or to learn or to achieve is deeply rooted in our psyches. And this is where self-leadership becomes your greatest asset.

What is it you’re longing for? How long has this yearning been with you?

If it has been with you awhile, you may also wonder if you have the agency to satisfy it for yourself. The truth is, we don’t have a lot of control over most elements in life. Uncertainty is a given.

Confidence building as an act of defiance in the face of uncertainty can feel hard to grasp.

So when your wanting mind is strong, and when you have a vision for what would make you happy, how do you go from wanting to creating?

Tara’s Story – and Yours

Tara was an executive who came to me feeling small and inconsequential in the face of the life that she wanted to live.

Have you felt this way in the face of what you want for yourself?

In Tara’s case, she was a successful young executive who paradoxically felt unfulfilled. She wondered if she was in the wrong career. Nothing felt right. Her work felt meaningless and mundane. She tried to think of what else she could do, but nothing came to mind. ?Absolutely nothing.

Her self-leadership felt beyond her grasp. Tara felt so much pressure to achieve – but she wasn’t achieving. She had been treading water for years. She was grieving the reality that the new and stimulating career she yearned for had not yet materialized. And she was grieving the long-term romantic relationship that had not yet been seeded.

Tara was beginning to wonder if she even knew who she was anymore, and why she couldn’t enjoy her life.

But Tara changed all that in six months through Executive Leadership Coaching

When we completed our coaching together, her personal leadership had grown immensely. She was feeling more intentional, discerning, self-directed, and more in control of herself.

On our last day together, Tara shared with me that her entire nervous system had shifted from crisis mode to something calmer and more peaceful.

She was no longer a victim to circumstances, but a powerful woman with the agency to pause, reflect and choose toward what she wanted.

Tara chose to believe in herself

She was confident that she could step forward and own her decisions. She had let go of perfection, and she embraced the idea that she was a part of life. She deserved to be here.

She realized she could choose what she wanted. For herself. Not for anyone else.

Tara started making her own decisions. Instead of waiting for someone to tell her what they might give her, she thought ahead about what she wanted for herself – more deeply.

No matter how life unfolded, she now trusted that she had an inner guidance system to direct her. The process she navigated with courage was confidence building.?

If you’ve been wanting something for yourself for long enough, you’ll recognize the value of Tara’s success in learning to tap into her inner guidance system.

What’s your relationship with your inner guidance system? ?

How did Tara get there?

She uncovered the way of being that had been keeping her from what she wanted most. ?“I’ll wait for the best option to come to me so I don’t make another mistake.” ?Tara lived by this.

Everything she did in a day was designed to mitigate risk.

This ‘protection-plan’ approach to life only created more uncertainty, fear and doubt. She resisted taking any risks. She even avoided being creative, playful and adventurous. ?

Once Tara realized that every decision in her life had been based on fear, things began to change.

Now, to free herself, she had one important step she needed to take. She had to give up hope that she could find what she wanted – outside of herself.

She had to let go of the illusion that her happiness resided in her new job or in finding the right partner.

Tara’s courage is worth emphasizing here. It’s not easy to let go of an old pattern for a new one we don’t yet trust. ?

When we give up fear-driven behaviours that have been part of us for years, what’s left? The ensuing void can feel frightening, as if we’re at sea in high winds. Suddenly, we’re looking for something to buoy us. ?

Where do you look when you’re feeling uncertain? For Tara, it was committing to turning inward – for the first time in her life. She came to know her inner landscape intimately. This was self-leadership in its fullest. ?

She developed the habit of turning toward what she wanted rather than away from what she feared.

Tara’s U-turn was inspiring to watch.

She chose to be active, rather than passive – in everything. In dating, this meant she took full charge. She reflected deeply. Rather than waiting to see who showed up (passive), she gave herself permission to create her own list of the attributes she was looking for in a partner (active).

In her career, she leaned into what fed her passion. She researched with creativity and tested out her ideas. Tara stretched into the world, rather than waiting for the world to create her.

Tara shared that she felt more in control, confident and self-compassionate. She estimated that her fulfillment had risen 70% in six months.

Yes, I'm ready!

You can do this too.

Turn your wanting into creating. Really slow down.

Set aside some sacred time for yourself when no one will interrupt you. Have paper with you and journal as you reflect.

Ask yourself:

• Who is it I yearn to be?
• What’s my U-turn?
• What am I focused on if not my goals?
• What am I willing to do to explore my inner knowing?
• What new way of being will create the life I want?

Congratulate yourself for taking this time and honouring your inner knowing.

Next, with all this beautiful data before you on your paper, what one step are you willing to take toward what you want?

What will make this one step even more actionable?

Executive Leadership is about you committing to your inner world, listening and acting on it.

Choose you.

Contact me and we’ll explore all that you want for your career and yourself.

With love and gratitude,

Lynda

Yes, I am ready!