How to Tame Your Anxiety and Not be Engulfed in It.
Infinity Mirror - photographer unknown

How to Tame Your Anxiety and Not be Engulfed in It.

Reasonable anxiety is helpful; sustained hyper-vigilance anxiety is not. Anxiety is such a timely topic. As a species we wouldn’t have survived if we didn’t have a watchful eye for potential dangers. During this time of home isolation to contain the COVID-19 spread, people’s fears have escalated. 

Many are feeling an increase in fear, dread and heightened anxiety as more and more uncertainty takes over our lives. When highly anxious, not having answers or knowing where to find them, it is normal to feel overwhelmed and powerless, which trigger anxiety.

The present day is chock-full of problems - climate and environment, governmental leadership, wars, personal and global tragedies, injustices, fake news, the loss of human dignity and rights and more. Now COV-19. How do we regain some sense of mastery over our lives in such unrelenting stressful times?

Keeping it simple, let’s start with creating a game plan. It has been said that the only way out is through. So let’s befriend anxiety because it is a necessary part of the human condition. It is important that we accept feeling anxious without frantically grabbing at any distraction to squelch it or run from it. In short, we need to widen our bandwidth to stay with and contain anxiety so we can then choose how to reasonably respond to it.

Wise men have often spoken of the importance of taking life one day at a time. Alcoholics Anonymous relies on this slogan. Yes, our brains can plan for tomorrow as well as look back upon yesterday but, actually, the here and now is the executive moment when we can take an action (hopefully, a thoughtful one). Putting our mind in the mindfulness zone allows us to manage anxiety and it all begins by keeping our head where our feet are.

Mindfulness is the foundation for managing anxiety. It allows us to corral our minds so that we are in the driver’s seat telling the brain what to do instead of the brain hijacking us and pitting us into feeling states that bring us down or even render us insensible. 

What are the options that can keep us in mindfulness for longer and longer periods of time?

One option is to be aware of our senses and use them to re-orient us to here and now. Noticing what we are hearing, smelling, touching, seeing and feeling stops the overly analytical brain. When the brain is not on fire and quiets down, we can re-focus our mind to what we see right in front of us.

For change to happen, a commitment to change has to be made. Having a personal philosophy about change is one way to start creating a healthier relationship with anxiety. "I acknowledge that the only constant in life is change and I am prepared for it." “I accept life on life's terms and I am able to adapt." 

Another helpful skill is prayer. The Serenity Prayer is powerful. “God give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.” There are also protection prayers that can easily be found on the internet.

We can begin to create and strengthen change with slogans, mindfulness and prayer. Change cements in when we introduce an atmosphere of play, creativity, imagination and take small steps each day.

Self-talk also re-orients us to the here and now. This doesn't mean we become pollyanna”ish”. Yes, we can think more positively and we can also learn to have more neutral thoughts such as, “I am not given more than I can handle.” “Let me be here now.” "I overcome my fear of anything and everything and live life courageously."

Different breathing techniques re-anchor us to present moment. Alternate nostril breathing, deep belly breaths and counting breaths can align us to here and now. Remember the goal is to take charge of our brain and put our head in a space that allows us to wisely use our mind to navigate each day free of debilitating anxieties, fears, and reactive responses to life.

It has been documented that our bodies hear every word we speak. In an internet article by Oska Phoenix, we are told, “... your mental state affects your immunity...Cells can transmit and receive non-physical packages of information that influences their behavior.

Your immune system, for reasons unknown, responds to both negative thoughts and positive thoughts; meditation creates the perfect environment for the immune system to flourish…if the mind is calm and relaxed, homeostasis is induced which allows the most optimal level for the body to self-heal.”

Phoenix confirms our cells respond to not only what we feed them but what we tell them. Consider placebo studies. In such studies, people taking real medication and those taking placebo medication often have the same success rate. Can we think ourselves well? Vianna Stibel was able to take herself from paralysis to full recovery by visualizing herself healed. Louise Hayes is another. In this time of the coronavirus outbreak, being able to re-focus on what we want gives us some semblance of power - our positive words can have influence on well-being and health.

Maxwell Maltz writes about an experiment with three groups of people. One group was asked to practice basketball. Another group was asked to visualize they were playing basketball and a third group did nothing - neither practiced nor visualized. The outcome was that those who practiced basketball and those who visualized they were playing the game achieved very similar results while the group who did nothing showed no gain whatsoever. Never underestimate the power of the mind. We can retrain our minds to focus on what we do want even in the midst of experiencing what we don't want.

There are other options that support staying fully present in the moment - exercise, living in gratitude, meditation, yoga, humming, meridian tapping, letting go of expectations, shoulds and demands and creative activities - all of which invite and support our immediate presence.

We are more powerful than we know. Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…” How powerful is it to turn from our fears to support another with theirs. Or to work together to tame collective fears. We can use the energy behind fear and put it to best use. Consider Candance Lightner, who founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), which eventually changed the laws of the land and saved countless lives. Candance's only child was killed by a drunk driver and she channeled the energy of her grief and rage to make sure other mothers would not have to go through what she did.

The good news is we can own, contain and resiliently meet anxiety, befriend it and move beyond it. We don't have to submit to the brain's bamboozling us into thinking it has control over us. Know we have choice over our thinking and we can start feeling more positive, confident and powerful sooner than we may have imaged. As Einstein said, "Either you see everything as a miracle or nothing is a miracle." Let's assume Einstein, one of the most brilliant men who has ever lived, is correct. This means we are an integral part of a miraculous creation that cannot be fully comprehended and which exists on a creative curve with no end point in sight. The statement "We are not given more than we can handle." can keep anxiety in check. Hold that thought! Repeat as necessary.


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