How To Talk So Even A Rock Will Listen

Exhibiting all the charm of a gorilla with a toothache, Mr. Big was in rare form early Monday morning.

"Get Mr. Stone to buy our latest accounting system!!!" Mr. Big barked with the subtlety that would make a runaway freight train look graceful.

He then added this little cherry of a line, just to make sure his reputation within the corporation was well deserved: "Fail, and consider your position here terminated!"

Later that day you meet Mr. Stone, for the very first time.

And, true to his name, Mr. Stone was an actual, literal, non-metaphorical, inanimate rock!

This is not a joke!

Because it's essentially what Moses is told by God (Mr. Big) in the Torah Portion called Chukat (Numbers 20:7-13).

Somehow Moses has to convince a rock to provide water.

Really!?

I mean, how do you even strike up a conversation with a rock?

"Haven't seen you around here before, just visiting are you?"

What language does it speak? You could be going on for hours without realizing it hasn't understood a word you're saying!

If you have no idea how to convince a rock of anything, other than keeping the door open, don't feel bad, it seems Moses didn't either.

When Moses finally fails, God tells him very clearly: don't think it was impossible.

Failure was down to Moses' own limitations. As God tells him:

Really, are you kidding!?

If, at this point, you are feeling that God is just a tad bit too demanding, then you haven't looked at your to-do list lately.

Let me take you back to 1977. That was the year that Laura Shultz, a 63 year old grandmother in Tallahassee, Florida, lifted the back end of a Buick.?Up until that point she had never picked-up anything heavier than a 50-pound bag of pet food.

It is important to appreciate that cars back then were a lot heavier than they are today. Not that it would be a piece of cake today, either!

How was she able to do it?

Her grandson was trapped underneath.

However, that really does not explain anything.

How does the grandson turn the impossible into the possible?

Whether correctly or not, when we drive over a bridge it’s because we believe it's safe. Similarly, when we give the store a credit card, it’s because we believe there is enough money to cover the cost.

So too, believing in yourself should be just a matter of accessing your skills and talents to see if they are sufficient for the task at hand. It is for this reason we feel confident when we get behind the wheel of a car, a feeling that might be lacking if we get into the cockpit of an airplane.

This Mishnah is explaining that it’s a mistake to think like that.

It might be sufficient for crossing a bridge or cooking an egg, but not for picking up a Buick that has your grandson trapped underneath.

Because, we have no idea what we are capable of.

And thinking you do, is the biggest mistake of your life.

In 1948, the Jewish people were facing a diabolical fate. Not only did most Jews think they didn't have a chance, but so did every military expert in the world.

How did they win?

The same way Laura picked up that car.

They stopped believing in themselves!

If we don’t believe in ourselves, then what should we believe in?

The problem we are facing.

Your greatest achievements happen when you are faced with an overwhelming problem. At moments like this you forget about yourself (and what you are capable of), and just focus on the issue at hand.

"The Art of War" (5th-century BCE) explains how the author, Sun Tzu, defeated a much mightier adversary. He deliberately walked into a trap, so that the enemy encircled him, and his army, on all four sides. Maimonides, in his classic book of war, similarly warns against doing this very thing to your enemy.

Once entrapped, the troops forgot about who they are, what they are capable of, and did what needed to be done.

These are the first words we are supposed to say in the morning.

Do not believe in yourself! Rather, believe in God - who believes in you!

And His belief is great!

God believes that Laura can pick up that car. He believes the Jewish people can win the war of 1948.

And He believes Moses can convince the rock.

Forget about what you think, forget about accessing your talents and skills, and even your track record.

The problem you are facing, right now, is God telling you:

You've Got This!

Believing in God, means, that God did not make a mistake with the problem you are facing.

You have the problem ONLY because He knows you can solve it.

We have no idea what we can do, until we have to.

He has great belief. If we see the problem, it is ONLY because we can solve the problem.

We all have our "rocks." And they all seem just as formidable as the one Moses faced. Whether those rocks are a Buick or six standing Arab armies. Or a rock.

Listen...

I agree with with all those military experts, and I even agree with Moses, you can't do it.

In fact, I think that I can't solve the problems that I am facing, either!

But my opinion is not worth much. Because God thinks we can.

He knows what you are made of, and He says you can do it.

It's just a question of whose opinion am I going to follow and believe in?

The title of this article is, "How To Talk To Rocks," so I don't want to disappoint.

My father-in-law was a lovely man, but he was, unfortunately, a life-long smoker. What made it worse (for him), was that no one else in the family smoked. So he got grief from everyone.

Everyone tried, but no one could get through.

How do you talk to a rock?

You have to learn a new language.

His grandson (my son) eventually convinced him to quit smoking.

When Dovid was three years old!

Grandpa wanted to pick him up. He was very cute.

Dovid, that is. In fact, his mother and I still think he's cute.

And Dovid said to him, "Grandpa, you smell."

It's not that no one had thought of saying that before. They had actually said a lot worse.

It's that no one said it the way a three-year-old grandson says it.

There are things that our mothers can say to us, that no one else can say. There are things our siblings can say, children, boss and even neighbor. Each one has a unique language that gets through.

The reason you are not being effective is because you are not saying it in a way that they can hear it.

The Lesson

The purpose of speaking to the rock was not to produce water.

The water was just a means, to a crucial and profound lesson in leadership.

Had Moses understood how to connect with and prevail upon an inanimate rock, then he would have known how to touch the hearts of the Jewish people.

Leadership is ultimately about messaging, even with the most closed of minds.

And it explains why Moses does not argue. He understood, that unfortunately, the mantle has to rest on someone else's shoulders.

Leadership is not about giving orders or even making good decisions. It's about inspiring hearts that are even as unyielding as a stone.