How to talk to people about their Mental Health

This week is mental health awareness week 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England. 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week. The number is likely to be much higher than reported however since sadly, mental health is still very much a taboo topic for a lot of people. The world has come a long way with regards to their treatment of mental health however, there is still a long way to go. People still worry about being judged for speaking out or told to just “get over it” but this does not help. Someone with depression can’t just cheer up, someone with anxiety can’t just stop worrying just like someone with a broken leg cannot just start walking on it. It is important to remember that just because you cannot see something it does mean it is not there. Not all suffering is visible.

With this in mind, I am going to talk about some ways you can help someone struggling with their mental health. Before I do, however, I want to make a few things clear. Every mental health problem is different so these will not be specific to any certain one. Having said that I will include links for support at the end. Moreover, not only is every condition different but so is every person, what helps one person with anxiety might not be what helps someone else, there is no, one cure fixes all.

Let them talk as much or as little as they want:

If they want to talk let them, it can be hard to open up about your mental health and they must trust you enough to talk to you. This means it is vital that you don’t rush them or make them feel as if they are wasting your time. At the same time, you cannot force them to tell you everything straight away and trying to force them to say more than they feel comfortable could do more harm than good and cause them to close up completely. So, the best advice I can give is, let them lead the conversation and tell you what they are comfortable sharing.

Don’t dismiss their feelings:

If someone is telling you, they feel a certain way don’t tell them they don’t or ask, “what have you got to be sad/anxious about?” Firstly, you have no idea what is going on in someone’s life as people only tell you as much as they want you to know and there does not have to be a reason to struggle with anxiety or depression or any other mental health problem. Sadly, sometimes you just do.

Know your limits:

It is amazing that you want to help but unless you are a trained professional there is only so much you can do or say. It is important you do not try and diagnose them or give medical advice. You can lead them in the right direction to find help however, it is important you don’t give advice based on what you think or have heard or seen somewhere.

 *Don’t start treating them differently:

*Unless they ask you to!

It’s important you don’t start leaving them out of things or not telling them things you normally would because you think they “won’t cope”. Offer your support but don’t behave like a completely different person as this could result in them feeling even more isolated.

Just be there:

This might sound obvious but at the same time we are all busy people, and it can be easy to forget sometimes. Check-in on your friends and make it known you are there for them if they need anything. Sometimes even the people that seem the strongest or the happiest can be struggling and you asking something as simple as “how are you?” or “how’s your day going?” could really help them to open up.

I am not an expert in mental health so all I can offer is advice however, here are some links with resources in case you or anyone you know needs help or support:

Mind

https://www.mind.org.uk/

NHS

https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/helping-others/

Samaritans

https://www.samaritans.org/