How To Talk To Anyone

How To Talk To Anyone

Last month I accompanied my 85-year-old mother to a friend’s birthday lunch. I didn’t want to impose on the ‘Birthday Girl’ so I made sure that I sat at the end of the table. To my left were a couple who had not seen each other for decades and were engrossed in conversation. To my right was a 92-year-old woman.

I am not proud that my first thoughts were, ‘This is going to be a looooong lunch!’

We have all been in this situation. Maybe it was a business event, a networking function, or a party where we don’t know anyone. It feels awkward and we don’t know how to start or carry a conversation. Our mind wanders and we would rather be home in our trackie dacks eating toast and watching Netflix.

The solution to the situation is simple:

Start with curiosity

So, I turned to the woman on my right, introduced myself and asked, ‘So what has been keeping you busy this week?’

‘Well,’ she replied, ‘I have had a busy week with my business with all the end of financial year accounting due.’

Whaaaaaat?

She went on to tell me that her husband and her had a manufacturing business for 50 years. When her husband passed away several years ago, she sold the business, but she still manages the properties with her sons. She went on to tell me that when she is not cooking with the grandkids, she plays golf twice a week completing 18 holes in one go. For the nongolfers out there, 18 holes is around 8.5 km.

I was flabbergasted. She was an absolute cracker and a sharp reminder to never underestimate a little old lady.

Next time you’re in a similar situation here are some questions to ask that go beyond ‘So - what do you do?

Start a conversation with:

-????????? What has been keeping you busy this week?

-????????? What wins have you had this week?

-????????? What has brought you to this event?

-????????? How do you know the birthday girl?

-????????? If you weren't at this event, what would you be doing?

And lastly instead of asking ‘What you do?’ which is a little limiting, ask them ‘What line of work are you in?’ as it provides greater scope.

Need more?

Here are some other tips for small talk , or book me for a workshop.

Lisa Twyford

Transforming and improving businesses with program, project and change management

3 个月

Love this

Sara Rothermel

Caterer for Small Events. Chef with the Heart of a Cook. I Create Exquisite Fingerfood with Care. #fingerfood #catering #events #functions #parties #corporate catering

3 个月

Good tip Sharon. I love talking to older Australians!They are so interesting and wise! Perhaps too it has something to do with the fact they are my ideal customers!

Angie Nguyen

???Conveyancer - CPC l Convey Property Settlements | Strategic Collaborator | Fintech & Property Expert | Philanthropy & Fundraising Advocate ???

3 个月

I instantly enjoyed speaking with you Sharon Ferrier - Persuasive Presentations

Belle Baker

Tractoring For Women | Multipotentialite | Agri-Professional

3 个月

Such a great tip! Thanks, Sharon. I have always struggled with that for some reason. Also, younger people (younger than 92-year-olds) always seem to be more closed. They usually come with someone they know, someone from their own circle and chat with them during the event. Asking them questions felt like an intrusion and disruption of their conversation.

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