How to Take the Sting Out of Negative Feedback at Work

For many companies, this is the time of year when they undertake the formal performance review process. And while companies like GE, Adobe, and Netflix have eliminated annual performance reviews in favor of more frequent, real-time job feedback, they're far from fading away anytime soon.

Getting positive feedback at work feels great, doesn't it? Positive words about your contributions and impact at work leave you feeling energized, optimistic, and ready to tackle fresh challenges in the year ahead. A strong review can bolster the case for your next raise or promotion.

Critical feedback, on the other hand, feels very different. Delivered well, it can shed light on your blind spots and surface pockets of potential that you can then focus on and develop.

Delivered the wrong way--or if you take it the wrong way--critical feedback can leave you feeling demotivated. It can make you doubt whether you'll get the bonus you were expecting, or the next promotion you were hoping for.

But if you're serious about your professional development, you'll want to know exactly where you need to improve, and what skills you'll need to develop along the way. And, like any skill you're trying to master, learning how to deal constructively with critical feedback requires practice.

After 25 years of giving and receiving performance feedback, here are some tips for dealing with the type that stings:

A few "Do's" when getting critical feedback

1. Listen carefully. Make sure you understand exactly what. Ask questions to clarify the nature of the feedback being delivered. Take notes. Think carefully before you respond.

2. Acknowledge the feedback. You may not agree with all aspects of the feedback, but it's important to demonstrate that you've acknowledged it and that you're prepared to act on it.

3. Take time to reflect. Performance feedback is often a concise distillation of many weeks or months of work, and it can be hard to fully process the meaning and implications of the feedback in a brief meeting or over a short phone call. Before deciding on any course of action, take time to reflect on the feedback that you've been given.

4. Develop an action plan. Develop a plan of action that will address the areas that were raised, and then share this with the managers who are responsible for evaluating your performance. You can also take this opportunity to update your personal development plan, and plot the next steps in your longer-term professional journey at your current firm (or beyond).

5. Conduct a regular check-in. Since you've shared your action plan with your manager, make sure you proactively check-in from time to time to see whether you're making progress along the key areas that were identified in your feedback session.

And don't wait for the next mid-year or year-end evaluation cycle to do this. Checking back frequently will give you more opportunities to take corrective action. It will also give you the chance to communicate the improvements you've made, the new skills you've developed, and the impact you've had, since your last feedback session.

...And a few "Don'ts"

1. Don't get defensive. Critical job feedback can sometimes put you on the defensive. But don't let that emotion take hold: Keep a cool head and continue the conversation with an open mind and a professional attitude. You don't want to say something you might regret later on.

2. Don't shoot the messenger. In communicating performance feedback, managers are often both compilers of others' feedback and deliverers of their own. Regardless of whether the feedback is coming primarily from them?--or it represents a composite of the feedback she compiled from the five or six colleagues she spoke with about your performance?--?don't turn the session into a "you versus your manager" challenge.

3. Don't forget to act on the feedback. The primary aim of job feedback should be to provide you with the information you need to understand where you should focus your professional development efforts. Be sure to take that information and act on it, and don't just file it away in a memo on your hard drive that you never look at again.

How do you deal with negative feedback at work? Share your experience and suggestions in the comments!

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A version of this article appeared on Inc.com.