How to Take Listening to the Next Level: From Active to Authentic

Most people understand the importance of active listening — giving someone your attention, showing you’re tuned in, maybe asking a follow-up question or two.

That’s good. It’s definitely better than waiting for your turn to talk.

But over the years — both in sales and in leadership — I’ve learned there’s another level.

One that consistently helps people build trust faster, manage conflict better, and uncover solutions they wouldn’t have found otherwise.

It’s something I call Authentic Listening(L) and It is one of the CABLES behaviors that help people build stronger relationship bridges with others.

What is Authentic Listening?

Authentic Listening is listening with your eyes, ears, mind, and with respect. It’s not a checklist or technique — it’s a mindset and an approach that says, “I’m here to fully understand, not just respond.” Just like the label suggests, when we listen authentically, we are real.

• Eyes — Paying attention to body language, facial expressions, and those subtle shifts that often say more than words.
• Ears — Hearing the pauses, word choice, the hesitations, the shifts in tone that signal there’s more to the story.
• Mind — Staying curious instead of assuming you already know where this is going. Letting the other person’s words shape your understanding. Asking clarifying questions in ways that demostrate your desire to understand rather than just respond.
• Respect — Creating space where the other person feels safe enough to say what’s really on their mind, even if it’s uncomfortable. You listen to the other person with the same respect you would want them to listen to you.

The more I’ve practiced this — in sales calls, in difficult conversations, even at home — the more I’ve seen how Authentic Listening lowers defenses and promotes psychological safety.

When people feel heard, they relax. They open up.

And that’s when real conversations — the ones where problems get solved — actually happen.

Sales, Leadership — It’s All the Same

In reality, sales and leadership aren’t that different.

In both, your success depends on whether people say yes.

• In sales, you need a yes to close the deal.
• In leadership, you need a yes to your requests, your vision, your feedback — everything.

And the only way you get to yes — the kind of yes that actually sticks — is by understanding the other person well enough to meet them where they are.

That doesn’t happen through talking. It happens through authentic listening.

There’s a reason we have two ears and one mouth, and the times I’ve stuck to that ratio, I’ve always learned more than when I filled the silence with my own voice.

The Only Time You Learn

Here’s something I come back to often — especially when I catch myself talking too much:

When you’re speaking, you’re only repeating what you already know. The only time you have a chance to learn something new is when you listen. It's worth repeating.

This is especially true when things get tense.

During conflict, the natural pull is to explain, defend, or correct.

But the most useful information — the root of the frustration, the part people don’t usually say out loud — only comes out when you give them space and a sense that you actually want to understand it.

That’s why Authentic Listening isn’t just about being polite. It’s a strategic advantage in leadership, in negotiation, and in life.

Listening is a Competitive Advantage

There’s a misconception that influence comes from having all the right answers or delivering a perfect argument. In my experience, that’s not how it works.

The people who end up with the most influence — the leaders people trust, the negotiators who find creative solutions, the salespeople who close the biggest deals — are the ones who authentically listen better than anyone else.

Not because they’re passive, but because they make it safe enough for others to speak without having a shield up.

That truth — the real concerns, the unspoken needs, the fears people don’t volunteer — is often revealed.

And the only way you get it is through authentic listening.

Trust Starts Here

At its core, Authentic Listening isn’t just a communication tool — it’s a way to show people they matter.

When someone consistently feels heard and respected, it changes how they see you.

Whether they work for you, buy from you, or live with you, they start to trust you in a way that isn’t built through words alone.

That kind of trust is the foundation for everything else — influence, problem-solving, teamwork. And it’s built one conversation at a time.

Take It to the Next Level

If you’ve already worked on active listening, you’re ahead of the game.

But don’t stop there. There’s more impact — and more opportunity — when you lean into Authentic Listening.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present. It’s about showing up with curiosity and respect, not just because it’s a good leadership habit, but because it’s how real solutions — and real relationships — get built.