How To Take Charge And Be Your Own Boss

When did wanting to be the boss and in charge go out of style? Why are so many people satisfied with working for someone else? Why do so many people refuse to set definable goals for themselves?

The answer is easy. Laziness. Most people are lazy.

A big day for most people now is sending a few emails at work and going out for coffee. Maybe you have a couple of meetings during the day too. Wow. Intense.

The truth is you don’t have to do much today to stay alive. You don’t even have to do much today to thrive in life. If you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet you don’t struggle with getting food or having a place to sleep.

You can find clothes and anything else you need to survive dirt-cheap online. And you can get online anywhere. Odds are you know at least three different places where you can get Internet for free right now.

If you are struggling, there are dozens of programs, charities, churches, and community centers to help you get back on your feet. But none of this solves the problem of you being lazy.

It doesn’t matter how many opportunities exist in the world if you’re too lazy to seize them.

You want more success and more happiness. Big deal. What does that even mean?Success? Happiness? These words are just hazy sayings. They're vague and meaningless.

Here’s the real problem—you’re too lazy to define what you want. Maybe you’re scared too. But you’re definitely lazy. Don’t be upset. It’s okay. Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it. The second step is knowing why you should solve the problem.

Why Goals Make You Successful (And Attractive)

You can’t hit a target you don’t set.

Studies out of Virginia Tech and Dominican University in California show that people who write down their goals are 33% more likely to achieve them. These goal-setters also make 9X more money than people who don’t write down their goals. The same studies show that only 20% of the population has goals and only 1% of the population writes down and reviews their goals.

We all know people who claim to be a struggling artist or an under-appreciated employee. The truth is these people are struggling because they don’t know what they want. They haven’t defined any goals. They haven’t defined a target. Defining a target for yourself is the only way to be successful.

The only way to get what you want in life is to take charge of your life. You must start being a the boss of your environment, not a victim to it. Here's how...

1. Stop giving your mental energy to people who don’t matter. 

Finding someone else who wants to tell you what to do is easy. Having the initiative to tell yourself what to do, on the other hand, is hard.

Setting a course for your life is not easy, especially when other people are standing against you trying to get you to conform. Stepping out on your own takes immense energy.

The problem is that you’re giving all of your mental energy to other people. You go to some office to work for 8-12 hours a day trying to make your bosses happy and then come home to spend another 4-6 hours trying to make your friends and family members happy.

Even if you find 30 minutes in a day to do something for yourself, you don’t have the energy to make anything big happen.

Start protecting your energy. Start spending it on you and your own projects. Get up 20 minutes earlier each day and spend this time working on your personal goals. At the end of just one week of doing this you’ll have spent over 2 hours on your mission. That’s enough to start taking charge of your life. 

2. Build a network around you, not around someone else’s business.  

Influence is more valuable than time, money, or any other resource you can manage. In today’s world, attracting people’s attention and connecting with them in a meaningful way that drives action is priceless.

If you don’t have any influence, you are useless. More than that—you’re meaningless. You can’t make big things happen in your life without influence. Influence is the only real leverage left in the world.

The biggest reason you keep working for someone else and living to make others happy is because you have no leverage. You stay at your job because your entire network, everyone you know with all your professional clout, is tied to your current job.

At the very most, your network includes a few dozen people in the small business field you’re in. The problem is no one outside of this small field knows who you are or who anyone in your network is.

If you're relying on the few dozen people you know in your field to produce enough leverage to live a massively successful life—you’re delusional.

If you ever want to work for yourself or be your own boss in any way, you better start building a bigger platform. You better start growing and diversifying your network aggressively. 

3. Stop valuing the approval of people who treat you poorly.

Your need for approval is why you work for someone else you can’t stand. It’s why you stay trapped in a life you know in your gut is only a fraction of the life you should be living.

You’ve been trained since birth to chase the approval of others and this desire has boxed you into a corner. Now you can’t do anything without having to consider whether or not it will upset someone else.

You move left, someone disapproves. You move right, someone else disapproves. So you stay put.

You stay in your tiny little box. You stay in your fishbowl of a job for decades because you love the fuzzy comfort of approval. The truth is no one approves of you. Other people don’t approve of you, they’re just comfortable with you. You’re not a threat so they keep you around and play nice. You’re a safety blanket.

You're an insurance card reminding everyone that it’s okay to be average. You’re not exciting. You’re not massively successful. You’re not even your own person. But at least you make other people feel comfortable about themselves.

Refuse to live this way. Stop putting other people’s approval first. Stop kowtowing to people who will only like you as long as you continue to be average. Instead, start putting your goals first. Start choosing yourself first.

If you want to start being your own boss, you need to start thinking and acting differently. If you want to take charge of your life, you need to stop distracting yourself with drama and instead, start taking on bigger problems.

The road to being your own boss is simple—start protecting your mental energy and stop valuing approval. Set your own goals and pursue them aggressively. This will result in a life well lived rather than a life full of regret.

What strategies are helping you become your own boss? Tell me in a comment below.

I also write for Fast Company and Entrepreneur Magazine:

• The Skills You Need To Grow Your Business
• 10 People Who Will Destroy Your Business
• 5 Benefits Of Being A Misfit Entrepreneur

Check out my book of personal and professional advice, Black Hole Focus: How Intelligent People Create A Powerful Purpose For Their Lives.